Monday, January 31, 2011

insha Allah

da'wah itu ada seninya,maka sampaikanlah al-haq itu dengan bersungguh-sungguh.

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Z generation,they are cooler than you expected


I'm still here,even though being in a stuffy room which is cramp and having an insufficient air ventilation.After a day full of bliss and joys,I would just like to heave a relief for getting through the whole day,SubhanAllah.

Before i start on ranting about something I shouldn't,lets just say we had an awesome nisa' race,conducted by sisters from europe areas.There were four checkpoints and each one of them,had there own ibrah.And so,as a whole,what I could just say,we are all tied with a bond.ukhwah,and due to this bond we hold together,insyaAllah until we reach heavens, the bond stays there.

And now comes the highlights of the day,the playground invasion.

before I start,I would clarify a bit regarding this playground,it is situated in the middle of the neighborhood,where today,it was swarmed by childrens and bibiks,teehee.

all of us,decided to do some practical da'wah after learning theoretically the ways to da'wah.We swarmed the playground and everyone started to talk and get to know these charming kids.

they are purely innocent!I wonder how in the world could the troops in palestine do monstrous attack to kids there!Here,we asked a whole bunch of questions and they answered a lot back!May Allah rewards those in palestine heavens,insyaAllah.

finally,we tried gathering these kids and talked to them about the prophets.they know prophet adam,they know prophet muhammad,so insyaAllah,these are the generations we need for the future ummah!

me:kenapa nabi muhammad special?
iman:sebab dia baik,dia tak pernah pukul orang dan dengar cakap Allah

me:siapa nak masuk syurga?
everyone shot their hands up in the air,as fast as possible,Allahuakbar

these are some sharing we had with the kids.and SubhanaAllah,what is feeded to these kids are tremendously awesome,and at such a small age,she knows regarding taqwa,so she'll be pacing ahead in no time.

some more random shots throughout the playground.

cherine:kakak, kenapa kakak duduk dua rumah?
me:sebab satu untuk tidur,satu lagi rumah macam playhouse

cherine:saya serani,mak saya chinese tapi tak tau cakap mandarin,dan saya ada adik indian,namanya khaled.

me:what is her name?
cherine:which one?they are twins,one is crystal the other one cheysra,you can differentiate them both,one likes wearing trousers the other likes wearing skirts.

syaza:kakak,kakak macam muka cikgu saya,nama dia cikgu umi.

me:apa tu?
aiman;mengkarung,nama dia giki
(i mistakenly heard kiki and asked the name twice!)

kids are just uber adorable

monkey bars,you can see cherine swaying in the air.

cherine and the twins

iman and her brother umair

 ini perpaduan!

the threesome and khaled,aiman with his sibling,syaza and fazli

playground mission accomplished.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

alunan kesedaran!

Ketika tuhan berkata kepadaku                                              Takkah kau malu bermaksiat kepadaku?

      Kau sembunyikan dosa dari makhlukku                Tapi dengan penuh noda kau menghadapku?

puisi yang dibacakan oleh Abu 'Abdullah,salah seorang murid Imam Ahmad
Muhammad Ahmad Ar-Rasyid

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

grateful to still be breathing oxygen


Allah took care of everything!

Every single bit.


Ummi shared some words of wisdom,

we shouldn't fear the future and regret the past as Allah is wth us all the time.The more we sujud the closer we get to Him.

I love You.

flabbergasted to see 88 on the certificate!

Friday, January 21, 2011

what part have you played?

I had a small outing with my aunty,cik rah,her husband,ayah mi and their only girl,sumayyah.We went to nilai for dinner,and I was so hungry since I was fasting so I was so eager to start and gobble anything up.

So,one of a franchise restaurant was chosen.

As we sat down and finished ordering,my uncle went out to seek for a prayer room for maghrib.

He asked and sadly there were none in the restaurant.To bottle up the sadness,the workers said,they even prayed in a store near the kitchen.


gere banga sero!peseng apo ni!kato negaro isle,tapi bakpola isle ngekok kat negaro sdiri.nok smaye pong kena gi laing.bengong ko!(monolog dalaman)

And I found a prayer room inside a small cafe.My hypothesis was,exclusive places don't have prayer rooms and non-exclusive places do.

Berkiblatke kebarate banga-banga doh ni,tunduk ko set dio,kito pong ado maruah nge tanggung jawab weh sebaga muslim!(monolog dalaman)

The anger inside me stayed there until the whole dinner,but I was surprise my appetite was still there!

I got back to my apartment that night feeling bloated and full.Jazakillah cik rah and ayah mi for the dinner.It was amazing to actually be out and about in Nilai with relatives,especially the roundabouts,they had lights like in i-city!

At home,I sat down,thinking.

I could do nothing,at the moment,but I can just keep on praying the rise of Islam one day.Allah promised us all right?

Dengan syarat,everyone are playing their part.

So,what part have you played?
have we reached halawatul iman?

"tiga perkara yg sesiapa memilikinya, maka dia memperoleh kemanisan iman;

1. Allah dan rasulNya lebih dikasihi olehnya
2. dia tidak mengasihi seseorang melainkan kerana Allah
3. Dan dia benci untuk kembali kepada kufur sebagaimana dia benci untuk dilontarkan kedalam api neraka."

(riwayat al-bukhari)

don't worry,it's just a blip!

Yes the heat is felt.results are coming out in less than a week and the people are posting ke'nervous'an of their feelings!

I don't know why,but I feel it too.A2 is months to go,but I feel that I am near the verge of giving up already.MashaAllah.

a lecturer once asked,

"who feels like they suit the position as a dentist?"

I rose my hand nonchalantly and I was the only one in the room to feel that way.

Oh yes,I am currently taking Alevels medicine though.

A levels - medical degree - housemanship - work as a medical officer

the pathway isn't as easy as typing it,its going to take ages! and I don't know whether I'll survive.Its painful to get exam results below fifty percent.Its choking me up when I don't get to understand stuff easily.Its suffocating me when I easily forget things.

all in all,I'm just tired of all these.

some may ask,whats wrong with you?
yes,it may seem to them and to myself that I'm facing conflicts with myself,indeed so.I'm scared of failing in exams and continue to fall and who knows I may not even have the chance to land me feet on the grounds of Agra.Even if I do,then what if I'm not able to take medicine and I don't qualify to be a I even really want to be a one?

what if I want to give a u-turn?

ummi once said,

once you start swimming in a big ocean,just continue swimming until you reach the edge.

I hesitate and question myself the ability of myself to still play the game an continue swimming.What if I get tired and drown myself?What if my oxygen in my oxygen tank is running out? the What If questions continue haunting me until now.

Life problems are suppose to be a blip,they happen but you aren't suppose to be affected by it at all.

And then some issues start to fall out,

I am now a pedestrian.

What road am I taking?
The road to heaven.

With whom am I walking with?
Muslims out there.

How am I keeping myself from stopping?
with da'wah and ibadah as my walking shoes and al quran as my map.

Why am I taking this particular road?
To meet up with Allah the AlMighty and Rasulullah s.a.w

When will I stop?
Until my last breath.


I merely forgot the basis of my life,the reason why I'm still living on earth.I'm talking rubbish about giving up when I don't put all effort on it.I merely cry and feel lonely when I have Al-Wakil to comfort me.

So all I can say is,whats left now is to finish up A levels,to pass or not is another story,to go to India or not is also another story,being a doctor or not is one other story.Only He knows.

Tawakkal to Allah,be pure and honest to Him,He will guide you.

hasbunallah wa ni'mal Wakil
"cukuplah bagiku Allah,(Dialah) sebaik-baik tempat bersandar."

dear allah,whenever I reach some sort of deep emotions,I only have you and only you.I love you Almighty!

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

now I know why people can't simply say 'tak nak'

Whenever I start to lay cosily in my slumber,the strength of getting up and do daily job is uber difficult.I just have this strong addiction to sleeping and I can't say no.

It's tedious actually,especially when you have piles of jobs in front of you and just waiting for you to finish it up.But,you choose your precious 'baby' sleep instead of the jobs.For simplicity,I'll just say I'd rather procastinate  than do it immediately.Don't get me wrong, I'm not just simply using 'baby' sleep because I think I'm cute or anything.It's just that,I feel it is preposterous to sleep so soundly albeit an earthquake happening around you.But it happens.

And sadly,I'm among these preposterous people.

It's been prolonged since my childhood days the fact that I'm just into sleeping.Although ummi has nagged me numerous time,I just can't help it.

Whenever I sleep late,I wake up late and I've even tried to sleep early,but they gave the same results.Easy said,its null hypothesis,there's no difference between the two time limits.So I don't prefer the latter since it will enhance tremendously my workload.

So I can only conclude that this disorder is sort of an addiction,where I can't come out of my addiction unless I'm determined.I have to come out of my own comfort zone with my own desire and strong discipline.

And somehow I wanted to relate with smoking.Smoking is consumed by all levels of generation in whatever condition.

Despite the advertisement and campaigns all over the nation regarding the bad effects to both active and passive smokers.why do people still do it?

According to the current status quo,mostly teenagers smoke and continue smoking unabling to quit due to the addiction towards the nicotine which is inside the cigarette itself.

So surprisingly due to addiction huh?

And there the 'A' word pops out of no where again.It's not there fault they are addicted and it's not that fault to stay addicted.

But to future smokers or pre smokers,before you get yourself addicted,please think for the umpteenth time the consequences and effects.Think of your beloved ones and love yourself more.

I can't simply barge in and blame those who just can't simply say no to 'tak nak' campaigns,because only Allah knows them best.Not me,not their loved ones.And one of the ways to quit smoking is keep yourself hard on the ground,do a lot of ibadah and try to shorten the distance between you and Allah.

This might be puzzling why i'm suddenly going on ranting about smoking and stuff,but after seeing someone I adore coughing harshly till that person had to hold on to the door knob,I can't keep on being quiet.

So to those out there who have too much sleeping disorder or puffing cigarettes exceedingly,lets together try and stop this addiction which we all know,will lead us know where.Addiction can be overcomed,don't worry!

life is full of pretence but heavens is for real.hence,which would you prefer more?

Sunday, January 16, 2011

kita bebas terbang laksana burung

thanks for the hospitality my dear spontaneous geek,

the marathon from 11 and upwards was a blast,



Thursday, January 13, 2011

A note to God

is it a norm to feel scared?

is it a norm to feel butterflies and lots of other insects moving vigorously in the stomach?

is it a norm to feel restless ?

thats always felt when there are major things going on,especially when the time left is less than 24-hours.

but alas,

I almost forgot,I almost put aside,that the most vital part after our endeavors,is to leave the rest to our 'wakilan',who else than Allah the Almighty.

It is He that determines our ability and capability instantaneously.

It is He who will comfort us doing these stressful moments.

It is He who will be there for us.

It is He who loves us eternally.

It is He who awaits us in paradise.

Who are we to deny and who are we to forget,

Slaves who are always ungrateful and easily take things for granted.

I am sorry Allah for being ignorant and careless,

Bless me tomorrow and for the days onwards.


Wednesday, January 12, 2011

a glimpse of the past

In less than a week,I will be sitting for IELTS.An examination that is required to for a placement in the landa of Agra.Everyone are having hectic days,hustle and bustle here and there to prepare for this examination.

I am one of the thousand candidates who will sit for it this upcoming friday.To begin the story,so there I was nearly everyday having consultations with lecturers regarding loads of things.

Its a norm to see lecturers and let them talk to us,advice us and smile at us,but i was flabbergasted with this one lady for something she did,which was simple but remembered me of my memories in colchester a few years back.

I was with jawahir and we met her to check some essays and when we handed it in,coincidently,the the both of us forgot to put our names on it,now,how silly is that?

and so,she asked for my friends name and wrote it down for her.When it was my turn,she gave the sweetest smile that i have ever seen and in her gentle voice, said,

"and what is your name?"

I kept silent for a few seconds before I realised I was awkwardly quiet and told my name slowly,


and that was that.

she reminded me of miss honey in mathilda
she reminded me of mrs smith
she reminded me of mrs abbotts
she reminded me of many other teachers in kendall school whom I have forgotten their names

Its nothing much actually,but I miss the days when I was still in primary school and playing ring-a-ring-a-roses.

I miss kendall so much.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

an e-letter from jakarta


alhamdulillah alhamdulillah alhamdulillah!

It's enchanting to chant gratitude to Allah the Almighty,besides,its just the matter of wanting or not.Today was a great day,despite of waking up late and missing the trip to Kuang,I'm just glad to say,it's good to be here,in ktt.

The excitement started when akhawat from new zealand and australia came to meet up with us.I was reunited with sis zayana,whom I just recently met during DI in taman botani,putrajaya and alhamdulillah,I got to meet more of them,sis izzati,sis husna,sis jannah,sis adnin,sis naya to name some.

we did a small liqa' on the field and after taarof they shared a lot experience they faced along the tarbiyyah journey , it was so inspiring.whenever we have liqa' like this,it was felt warmth and good.there was always a strong feeling of belonging and belonged and eventhough we just met.It felt like i had known them for years,thats why,what kak arifah said regarding ukhwah itu indah! , means a lot to me.

before we ended the liqa',sis izzati gave some sort of closing speech,it sounded more or less like this though I forgot the exact words,

"semoga di syurga kelak,kita jumpa wajah-wajah ini(while looking at everyone),malah bertambah-tambah lagi bilangannya,inshaAllah"

Inshaallah sis,if we don't get the chance to meet up again here,we'll meet up there.

Night came,and i had an usrah with my adik-adik usrah,this time,alone,without harun.Frankly speaking,I was scared to death,I don't know why,I didn't fuss,but I just got scared,so I did quick revisions and some few rechecking and then I went to Lily's apartment.

Usrah was on and everything went on smoothly.Alhamdulillah,that's all I can say actually.

then this verse came along,

kemudian pasti aku akan mendatangi mereka dari depan,dari belakang,dari kanan dan dari kiri mereka.Dan engkau tidak akan mendapati kebanyakan mereka bersyukur

its about the devils effort, in bringing us astray and far from the roads to heaven in whatever condition.

they can come from the front,showing that the devils will scare us with death and hesitate us regarding the Day of Judgement,while from the back showing that the devils will indulge us with beauty of 'dunia' and the wahan disease,whereas from the left showing that the devils will always be a driving force in doing bad things and from the right showing that the devils will prevent us from doing good deeds.

so,are we going to fall for these devils tactics?

Nauzubillah min zalik

I returned to my apartment where mayang and wanee were holding a small get together with nabilah taib,and we had fritters to enlighten the small gathering.

and as I'm about to close the curtains for 8th january,I checked my facebook and got a message from my ummi,she's currently in jakarta with ifah and I miss them so much!I'm glad she's doing fine over there,ummi,I assure you to go to pulau tidung or whatever its called,and make sure you really tour the whole jakarta,I hope I'll be able to take you to India,that is if I get to go there,insyaAllah.
it's exhilarating to get an e-letter from your ummi right?

p/s I miss the days where letters and postcards were so fancy,i barely see them now.

Friday, January 7, 2011

another day of sunshine which ended with a smile the other way round.

As we carry on our life,living to the fullest,the sun doesn't always shine brightly through out the day because it can start to rain in between.Recently,the days haven't been shiny days till the end,there were always thunderstorms in the middle.

I am categorized as a very impatient person,thus whenever I'm being pressured or I feel I have problems,I will start blaming people,and say bad stuffs.Now i know that isn't a very good habit to preserve,isn't it?So,I really do want to get rid of it.

So,thats one issue,another issue is I easily breakdown whenever I am in situations that make me stumble or easy said stressful,and I did it again today.After throwing my temper in front of my housemate,she managed to calm me down somehow,but because my anger had reach the verge of blowing up,I abruptly stood up and went to the rest room.I let everything out and wet my attire.It was so painful i couldn't care more,and so i went to perform my prayers.

Moving on,I met with the sweetest lecturer ever and I must say the calmest.Well,the moment I sat down in front of her I told her my confusions regarding some topics and I wanted to clarify some matters.But somehow I jumbled my words and I couldn't express and deliver,what I wanted to say properly.

She looked at me thoroughly,

"what's wrong?"

I answered,

"nothing big"

and swallowed saliva heavily.

she continued,

"what happened to your eyes,why is it swelling?"

and so thats that,I couldn't pretend staying stronger any longer and so I sat there in puddles of tears.Yes,indeed I cried.I have to admit that I was wondering what made me bottled up,until I just had to burst somehow,somewhere,and it happened,just now.

I must say,I always end up in tears even over small matters.I sometimes face hormonal upheavals and I can't manage them well yet.I'm very sensitive and particular when it comes to hearts and feelings.Oh yeah,I don't do love stories okay.Its just that,I sometimes worry too much and it leads me to think until I can't handle myself.

Until,I had an usrah jsut now,it was the 'last' sitting with sis arifah and I was touched with her farewell speech,she mentioned about changes in life.Everyone's life changes and evolves,but sometimes,whenever we face especially sudden changes,its hard to accept and get through with a smile.So,here is where we tend to seek for something to lean on and care for us.And who should we turn to when we're down in the dumps?

yes,exactly!no other than Allah the AlMighty.

So believe in His promises,

"sesiapa yang menolong agama Allah,nescaya dia akan menolong kamu"


Its just a simple verse and yet it shows that Allah,never forgets his servants,especially those who actually work hard to build up the ummah.

again,we have all bought tickets to heaven,its just a matter of time,so,see you there people,InsyaAllah!

Sunday, January 2, 2011

akur dengan spektrum sosial semut

what has happened to muharikah?
what has happened to me?