I am categorized as a very impatient person,thus whenever I'm being pressured or I feel I have problems,I will start blaming people,and say bad stuffs.Now i know that isn't a very good habit to preserve,isn't it?So,I really do want to get rid of it.
So,thats one issue,another issue is I easily breakdown whenever I am in situations that make me stumble or easy said stressful,and I did it again today.After throwing my temper in front of my housemate,she managed to calm me down somehow,but because my anger had reach the verge of blowing up,I abruptly stood up and went to the rest room.I let everything out and wet my attire.It was so painful i couldn't care more,and so i went to perform my prayers.
Moving on,I met with the sweetest lecturer ever and I must say the calmest.Well,the moment I sat down in front of her I told her my confusions regarding some topics and I wanted to clarify some matters.But somehow I jumbled my words and I couldn't express and deliver,what I wanted to say properly.
She looked at me thoroughly,
and swallowed saliva heavily.
"what happened to your eyes,why is it swelling?"
and so thats that,I couldn't pretend staying stronger any longer and so I sat there in puddles of tears.Yes,indeed I cried.I have to admit that I was wondering what made me bottled up,until I just had to burst somehow,somewhere,and it happened,just now.
I must say,I always end up in tears even over small matters.I sometimes face hormonal upheavals and I can't manage them well yet.I'm very sensitive and particular when it comes to hearts and feelings.Oh yeah,I don't do love stories okay.Its just that,I sometimes worry too much and it leads me to think until I can't handle myself.
Until,I had an usrah jsut now,it was the 'last' sitting with sis arifah and I was touched with her farewell speech,she mentioned about changes in life.Everyone's life changes and evolves,but sometimes,whenever we face especially sudden changes,its hard to accept and get through with a smile.So,here is where we tend to seek for something to lean on and care for us.And who should we turn to when we're down in the dumps?
yes,exactly!no other than Allah the AlMighty.
So believe in His promises,
"sesiapa yang menolong agama Allah,nescaya dia akan menolong kamu"
Its just a simple verse and yet it shows that Allah,never forgets his servants,especially those who actually work hard to build up the ummah.
again,we have all bought tickets to heaven,its just a matter of time,so,see you there people,InsyaAllah!