Tuesday, November 29, 2016

zikr di bibir

Aku masuk lift seusai kelas alquran. Dari tingkat atas, lift terbuka, dan dalamnya dah ada seorang aunty.

Slowly, i paced in. The lift slowly moved downwards, with an utter silence. Since it was a little squashy, i didnt know where else to look melainkan to the lady.

Dia terkumat kamit,
Zikir barangkali.

Aku tunduk, turut mahu menuturkan zikir from the back of my head. Inwas searching and searching until the lif reached ground floor.

Kami berdua keluar.

I wanted to ask her, but i had no guts. Dia dah berlalu sedikit jauh, when suddenly, i cried out,

Law samaht, enti bit ul eh ? 
(Excuse me maam, what were you saying back then)

A bit startled but managed to put on a smile, she replied,


I asked again,

Zikr eh?
(Zikir apa)

Ayyi haggah, subhanallah wa binhamdihi, SubhanAllahil 'azim, astaghfirullahil 'azim zay keddah.
(Apa sahaja ~)

I then carved a huge smile in reply,


'Afwan was the answer.


Indah kan hidup bersyariat, berbumbungkan langit dan berlantaikan bumi yg sama,
Tiada yang membezakan melainkan taqwa itu. 

Allahu T-T.

"Tuhan, berilah aku kesempatan untuk perolehi segala permata-mata di ardhul kinanah ini, sebelum aku meninggalkannya kelak,

Ameen ya rabb.

Saturday, November 26, 2016

Expectation is the root of all heartache william shakespeare

nilai se'genih'

I was queuing up at the payment counter to pay the groceries I was buying in Fathalla Supermarket. In front of me, was a lady with two small boys, around the age of 8-10 years old. 

The cashier was deducting things from her which caught my attention. He took away, some yoghurts and recalculated the bill.It now showed 34 LE. The women opened the crumpled money in her hand, there was a 10 and 20 LE only. 

She slowly, took out from her cart, a packet of macaroni and the cashier recalculated again. This time, the amount reduced to 31 LE, but the cashier guy, with full understanding, told her to just pay and come again with the money. 

I couldnt stand to see such thing going on in front of me, it nearly sent me to tears, and then someone appeared suddenly, paying the ever so valuable 1 LE. The cashier didnt want to accept it saying that the woman would return again. But she insisted. And she left without saying a thing. It left me thinking. About both, the lady, the cashier and the someone. 

I cannot judge the woman with such small meet-up, but i could see how it was a struggle, going to the groceries with you kids, wanting this and that, when you know you have to buy or you are reserted to buy only what you can afford. Maybe the yoghurts were for her sons too 😭. But you just have to toughen up to withstand these high demands of life. 

The cashier on the other hand, is an empathic egyptian whom i always meet here in egypt. They already know that life aint easy, so they dont 'bully' or become arrigant among themselves. He accepted the fact that the woman didnt have enough money, to pay at that instant . He let her go, and get the money in her house, and then return to fathalla to pay the remaining amount.
I still remember a professor saying, if Egyptians come to the faculty late, i cant scold them, life is hard, you get caught in traffic jam no matter how early you get out. See, another example of tolerable citizens among themselves.

And then, the someone, such heroic and inspiring act. Silent but powerful, the person came and went, as if it was a message passed by the angels for us humans to tak it as a message. Be kind to others, you dont know that such small act can give such a big impact to a life of someone.

I went back that day, thinking, what small act that i can do, that actually gives an impact to someone's life? 

Allahu T-T

Friday, November 25, 2016

bara api

Tidak ku sangka, bara yang kononnya ku rasakan bara cinta,
Hanyalah tiupan dan siulan si syaitan durjana.

Hina dan kerdilkah aku,
Untuk dikau perkotak katikkan sebegitu sekali.

Malu tahu!

Betullah, kata firman Dia, 
Dalam rongga kita, tak mungkin ada dua hati,
Kerna mana mungkin ada yang selain Allah dalam hati,
Jangan kau tipu diri kau sendiri wahai manusia!

Dikau berjaket kulit, 
Gelap manis, 
Senyuman tak lekang dari bibir,
Bicaranya sentiasa atur,
Wibawa dalam setiap langkah,


Wahai ukhti,
peliharalah pandangan mu, 
agar hatimu terhijab dari panahan syaitan.

Memandang itu salah,
Di pandang juga salah.

Hati yang terus menerawang,
Akan kekal dalam jiwa yang kacau.

Kata si adik,
Sekejap sahaja,
Mainan syaitan belaka.

Tahan sekejap ya ukhti!

Akan ada yang memegang tangan mu kelak, bagi menjunjung agama Allah ini bersama mu, dan akan pimpinmu bersama si khalifah cilik yang di kau bakal lahirkan. 

Kalau bukan di syurga dunia, nun sana, di kampung kita, syurga akhirat. Berjirankan para saliheen yang lain.

Friday, November 11, 2016

Lately, I have been feeling weary. As if a dementor has sucked the soul out of me. Thus, I'm as if a walking corpse.

hey, has life been that bad?!

fast forward rewind.

what has been happening for the past few months?

inside to outside

It was a calm day today, with not that much of a hassle. I went out with one of a mutarabbi, to a dermatologist. She was doing some treatment and she went there for follow up. We were talking, simply about everything, we call them qadhaya(problems) or curhat(curah isi hati). She recently complained many times of being stressful, to the extent that it gave her headache, stomach ache and even affected her immune system and caused her to have red patches here and there, which we call, lebam. But i was taken aback, since i didnt know that 'stress' could affect someone dearly,  until i met her.

well anyway, the small getaway got me to know here a little into depth here and there. And start me thinking of giving her the amount of burden or load in order for her to not feel pressured, but at the same time, enjoy her moments in this road of dakwah and tarbiyah.

We then departed, at sidi gaber station, and thats where the emotions entangled me slowly. i was passing by a group of small kids, maybe with the range of 9 years old till 12 years old. they were running around, trying to catch a ball, i guessed it was like dodgeball only very classical, since the setting were in a train station area. The boys were not filthy, only the dirt smudge their faces in a way, and it nearly reminded me of a setting in the oliver twist book.

they were carefree, laughing and smiling cheek to cheek as if they owned the world. they even ran as fast as a gush of winds which surprised me with such energy. And importantly, they were out of sight from being anti social, or restricted to tacky savvy gadgets. 

suddenly, i remembered of an event that might happen tomorrow, that might make the beautiful smiling faces, into an upside down smile instead. This is actually because, sidi gaber is named as place to be avoided on the day of the chaos. in alexandria, the hot spot for tunjuk perasaan, ada tiga,

1) di sekitar masjid jamek
2) di bibliotheca alexandrina
3) di mahattah sidi gaber

esok, 11 november,

ada apa sebenarnya?

the people of Egypt have been talking about it on the roads, in taxis, here and there , nearly everyone has been agitated. mungkinkah akan ada gelombang thaurah(revolusi) ataupun as light as tunjuk perasaan yang berlaku akibat penekanan kehidupan kini.

ketiadaan gula, petroleum naik
duit dollar makin tinggi, duit egyptian pound makin merudum
taxes are up to 8%, and the prices marketed are way expensive than before.

its horrible, yet you cannot seem to be doing anything much besides being positive for the future, and sangat optimis yangAllah akan datangkan kemenangan kepada mereka yang yakin.

thats why, people, here and there are just ready for another wave of reformation(if necessary).

And semalam, 10 november 2016, marks a new watikah pelantikan of a new presiden of the states, donal trump. I dont at all recall the moment he was no more than just 'the apprentice' celebrity, because suddenly he was campaigning and running for the election!

the republicans who were his major supporters were happy, but the whole world seem gloomy, as gloomy as frosty dark winter.

itu di sana, 
di sini di mesir, juga krisis pihak pemimpin,
dan saya tak berhenti ke saat negara kita diseru, juga punyai krisis pemimpin yang kurang qawiy.

pemimpin, either kurang kecendiakawannya ataupun zalim, in other words jauh dari landasan islam. 
Dan dia reflect keadaan minda dan intelect rakyat yang marhaen tika itu. boleh jadi, dalam masyarakat kita, kita juga jauh dari landasan agama Allah, sebab itu kita tend to angkat mereka yang juga kurang berwawasan untuk govern our country.

dan dalam perlantikan watikah presiden, mereka punyai manifesto yang tersendiri, yang menggamit hati para rakyat, terutamanya yang di pedalaman atau kampung. jadi dengan manifesto white supremacy or free trades itu yang membuatkan hati mereka berpaut.

kata seorang ukhti, mereka yang berada dalam jalan dakwah dan tarbiyah, harus cuba kuasai majmuk rasail dan usul 20, untuk dapatkan overview tarbiyah kita dan untuk melahirkan duat yang kritis bagi membolehkan maratibul amal dibincangkan sampai tahap ustaziatul alam.

jadi what i need from you guys, is doa yang bersungguh agar pemimpin yang adil dan saksama diangkat. start from baiki diri. 

start Now or Never,
13 : 11

love from, us
yang sangat mengharapkan dunia dipimpin oleh mereka yang Allah redha.