Wednesday, March 30, 2011

| of buttercups and meadows

praise to the Creator,with his will,I am still able to live happily and joyfully on earth.
alhamdulillah once again.

pacing footsteps on the pavement while looking above.

what do you see?

the sky?

the birds?


yes,absolutely.lets look a little longer.yeah,I know some may have already mentioned about it,i was talking about the clouds.just before we started chemistry paper,I mentioned about the clouds to her.

I'm a mere cloud that is shadowed by other magnificent clouds,but when you are in need,I'll be the first to rain on you.

And I meant it.

and I meant it big times.

InsyaAllah by the end of this year I'll be in a faraway land,nearer to the founder of roti canai and curry.And I have a dream,a big dream that will help in the road to meet the Creator.

And it is Allah who sends the winds, and they stir the clouds, and We drive them to a dead land and give life thereby to the earth after its lifelessness. Thus is the resurrection.(fatir:9)


Sunday, March 27, 2011

| I want to stick with you :'(

I am still alive today and I'm still breathing in oxygen for my cells to respirate in order for me to walk and talk for the sake of da'wah.

my grandparents are in town,and I'm now in shah alam with them.boy am I overjoyed!since I have such little time to spend at home,I'm trying to use it to the fullest.Alhamdulillah,I prayed jemaah with abah and atok and I read ma'thurat with my little sister.Spent time with ummi at giant and then went to surau at-taqwa for night prayers.and there I go again blabbering about my life.but I wan to,I'm so happy to be with my family this weekend albeit exam is just the day after tomorrow.

do not maneuver a ship that is on land to head
because it will only move if its on water

arab poem

this was a poem recited by a panel of a forum i heard at surau at-taqwa.he was going on about how Islam can right away reach the top but it must be using the right methodology.and its hundred percent correct.who said Islam wouldn't arise?even muslims all around the universe realises the fact that,muslims really need to buck up for Islam to reach just as high as during daulah abbasiyah,where islam empowered two third of the world.

thats the big picture of it!

and us here,rijal-rijal jundi are trying as hard as possible and putting all endeavor doing stuffs for the sake of islam.and the fact that makes me happy is,everyone are on their way to be a better people.changes are good and turning over a new leaf is much my little usrah dears,the chats that we had on that meaningful friday will be marked in my you put trust on me and poured everything showed that how special we are to be chosen by Allah to have each other,jazakumullah akhawat.

So direct your face toward the religion, inclining to truth. [Adhere to] the fitrah of Allah upon which He has created [all] people. No change should there be in the creation of Allah. That is the correct religion, but most of the people do not know. ar-rum:30

Its time for me to blossom and flower the world.Eventhough I'm having dilemma in studies right now,but I really do believe Allah has planned the best for me way ahead,and what I just need now is for myself to get a grip.Smile to the world because when everyone showers their smiles,the whole world will be embraced with happiness.

To all muharikah JPA,congratulations on your offers of placements,while pray for us ours too.

And it is Allah who sends the winds, and they stir the clouds, and We drive them to a dead land and give life thereby to the earth after its lifelessness. Thus is the resurrection-fatir:9

Saturday, March 26, 2011

| swirling in the winds for you

the cascades on the mountain flows never endingly,not knowing where to stop,just like the Creator wished.and there I was laying on the velvet grass,with air gushing pass by,soothing the heart which was full of misery.Suddenly, a rabbit comes hopping by,with its little baby could you not smile to such adorable creatures.

as if my feet has their own mind,i followed the two little creatures into a dark forest.And the ambience felt different,no more air gushing to my cheeks and the green grass caressing me feet.Instead I find myself enveloped in the darkness,with only the owls hooting,breaking the silence.I'm lost,and the rabbit is nowhere to be seen.

i keep on pacing footsteps at every place that had even the dimmest light,to get out of the stranded forest,the journey seemed endless as i pant and shiver as the coldness of the night embraces,and from afar , I see a silhouette standing in the midst  of fajr,subhanaAllah,i sense help is coming but ...

despair turns into hope as every step I take,brings me closer to that light and as I draw nearer,I see someone,standing,with arms stretched out,waiting for me to take it.That someone appeared oddly familiar to me..It can't be,I said to myself.

but apparently it was,the same crooked smile,glowing face beaming at me,without hesitation ,I stumble upon the figure,hugging as tight as possible,tears trickling down,i had waited too was unbearable,words could not be spoken,only the bodies played its part instead.As if the two bodies were talking,the figure,wipe the tears and rubbed the nose.the two walked hand in hand back,but the warm atmosphere abruptly changed when I suddenly stepped on a big fat hole and cam tumbling down,leaving the figure gap in awe,I tried to stop myself from tumbling deeper,but,

it came to no use.I tried to reach for something anything to hold on to..but I realise i was only reaching air.All efforts were futile.i continued  falling,with every second passed,I was falling faster.And I know that I was going to die any second once i reached the ground.There and then,I flash back into my mind,image of my mum kissing me before first best friend,my dad and his temper and I can't believe that I'm about to leave it all behind...

collaboration of me and ukhti adilah
jazakillah ukhti,

Monday, March 14, 2011

| fly away peter! fly away paul!

I use to hum this nursery rhyme back when i was still an infant.ummi would play the cassette again and again for me and ifah to jump around and have fun.


oh man,those days were good days.

Two little dickie birds,
Sitting on a wall;
One named Peter,
One named Paul.
Fly away Peter!
Fly away Paul!
Come Back Peter!
Come Back Paul!

I'm peter and you're paul,no matter how I try to go far away from you,I can't and I'll be back with you again in no time.

| how smiles can bloom the hearts

once i was in kampong,my aunt brought back home the movie,hantu kak limah balik kampung for us to see,all my uncles and aunts laughed so much that they rocked the chair hard,still my granny topples everyone out,she laughs and giggles until she nearly fell out of the chair,

but me,I couldn't even stand the story for a quarter of an hour!OMG I really despise comedian stories especially this one,because they are not funny at all,I don't get the so called funny parts, when usop who was disabled and sat in a wheelchair,when he wanted to run for his life from this so called ghost,he mounted the wheelchair above him and ran away with his leg and feet,apparently just now he was disabled,duh!and what squints me and bugs me is that the so called ghost wasn't even a ghost,it was just a disturbed villager called Limah.sheesh,that wasn't entertaining at all.

and i really want to say that raja lawak is the most stupidest game show in offence but it enhances stupidity and i just can't stand the corny jokes they make,like people say,'sikit lagi nok lucu,tera lagi pahni deh!'but,my dad loves this show,i mean,he approves it,he laughs to all the so called jokes made by these jokers but i just don't get it!

my aunt once said,'you're being too serious and tensed,try loosen up a bit,then you'll get the humour' but i still won't go for raja lawak and comedian stories,no way.i guess i am being a little bit tight in the edges,but i want real jokes not corny jokes,

even the prophet said there are ways to tell jokes,not simply by making a fool of other people,

One must not humiliate someone by joking (Tirmidhi, Birr 58)

 “Woe to those who tell lies to make people laugh!” (Abu Dawud, Adab 88; Tirmidhi, Zuhd 8)

still,there is no harm in making others laugh and smile,only excessive laughing is not liked by our beloved Rasulullah (saw) especially laughing out loud,

pernah dengar kan,

too much laughing will only lead to crying

so instead,lets manoever our excessive laughing with smiling,smile to people a lot,smiling to others reflects the peaceful and beauty of Islam,even Rasulullah (saw) hardly scowled no matter how that person treated him, be it bad or good.

Sometimes he shed tears, like pearls, so much that his prayer rug got wet during the hours he spared for tahajjud prayers at nights. When he was asked the reason of it, he answered: “Shall I not be a grateful slave?” (Bukhari, Tahajjud 6, Riqaq 19; Muslim, Sifatu’l-Munafiqin 18). While he showed his gratitude to Allah by praying at nights, he proved it to people with his smiles, tolerance, optimism and friendliness. 

As a matter of fact, one could not be a grateful slave by complaining and scowling his face. Tears flowing down from the eyes of the Prophet were the pearls of the night ornamented with prayer rugs when he was alone with his Lord, not when with people. That eminent person’s – who said “If you knew what I know, you would laugh a little and cry a lot” - smile which spread peace and bliss around was the reflection of his gratitude.

 A true believer, who should follow his example, should have a sorrowful heart as a result of awe and problems of Islam and status of Muslims and pondering over them. Nevertheless, he should light up the darkness caused by unfair people, with his smiling face which shows that he is grateful. Even though his soul cries, his face should smile. He should know that scowling face towards a Muslim is insult and violation of personal rights, and his mercy for his Muslim brothers should be seen on his face.

One should show his gratitude both with his manners and attitudes and also with words, that is, verbally. Characterless attitudes, levity, sassy laughter, free-and-easy manners, and a depressed face which shows pessimism, hopelessness must equally be away from a true believer. Islam gives one peace. The era of the Prophet’s order which abolished the order of Ignorance is called the era of bliss. Muslims are amongst good deeds in the world too. They are not blind to the beauties around them. They love what is created, because of the Creator. They see the full side of the glass, the half of which is filled with water. However, if they can, they try to fill the empty half themselves first.

Let us bear in mind that the Prophet faced more troubles and hardships than us. He faced more starvation than any of us. He had more burdens and duties than the most responsible one of us. He was struggling to solve a large and difficult problem, which can never be compared to ours. Nevertheless, unlike us, he never complained and his face was not scowled; he was not, stressed, tired, troublesome or pessimistic… He had to set an example for us on the issue as well, like in everything else (al-Azhab, 33: 21). We should refresh our lives by following his sunnah properly, relocating his era of bliss to our day. One who is not smiling, peaceful and confident amongst people cannot shed tears of pearls on his praying rug at tahajjud at nights.

Let us gain thawab (reward) of martyrs by following a forgotten sunnah of the Prophet at this time, when mischief is at its zenith. Let us be cheerful and humorous towards all Muslims around us. Let our smile, our smiling face be the reflection of the fact that we have found the source of peace and that we relocated the era of bliss to today. 

A complaining and scowled face is rather an indicator of unbelief or ungratitude; and stress and psychological problems such as depression are indicators of the disease of mischievousness in one’s heart; a smiling face is the indicator of gratitude. Let us convey the message which we cannot put into words, at least, with out face. Let our faces be inviters to peace and Heaven. When someone looks at our face, he should adore us and try to resemble us, to be like us. Firstly our faces, then words should be harbingers of goodness, not disgust. 

Hurry up, what are you waiting for, change your complaining, ungrateful personality. Though your soul may cry, let your face smile. Make us happy, cheer us up. Hurry up, what are you waiting for, caress your child’s or brother’s/sister’s hair. Make kind jokes with your spouse, show your love 61 times as a ransom for a religious brother/sister of yours whose heart you broke. Show with your face that looking at a Muslim’s face is equal to looking at Heaven. Embrace your brothers/sisters and friends around you. Salute all Muslims you know and you do not know, send your smiles to each other as gifts… Why are you still waiting? Before the day of resurrection arrives, offer people your smiles, which are the reflection of the revolution inside you, as an essential facility for that day, and as a inheritance and symbol of the Era of Rose… And copy the expressions of “Al-hamdu lillah!” and “O Lord, praises be to you!” to your head from the Book and write it on your face… Spread smiles and roses like the Rose-Prophet! Like the Rose-Prophet… Like the Prophet who made our souls smile… Like the Prophet whose both words and face bloomed like a rose… (┼×amil ─░slam Ansiklopedisi, 6/326-328).

from a website of  Questions of Islam.

senyum sokmo!

Sunday, March 13, 2011

of Red Dragons and Krisoberil Satu

For the second consecutive year,i didn't attend feskott again.And if people ask why,I would just smile or answer whatever pops in my mind at that time,truthfully,I don't feel the urge to go.So,to the Red Dragon members,I'm so sorry for being such a lousy member,but I've tried to be among the best and loudest supporter,*winks*.And right now,the event is ongoing,and whatever the outcome is,kudos to all who have participated and put one hundred percent endeavor to it!*claps*

well,what have I been up to this weekend,apa lagi,balik kampung makan nasi la!hehe,I just got back in shah alam,and everyone was home,all seven of us sat at the dining table and had the delicious dinner abah cooked,it was scrumptious!Una was here too and partly,the big dinner was for her too since she has finished menghafaz quran.Allahuakbar,dear una,you are so lucky to be chosen by Allah to complete your quran memorizing.May Allah reward you with Jannah,insyaAllah.

Sahih International: Indeed, Allah does not do injustice, [even] as much as an atom's weight; while if there is a good deed, He multiplies it and gives from Himself a great reward.

speaking of that,at home i'm not saying that we have an environment which is 'zero jahiliah',but I'm glad ummi and abah are so particular with their children's religious backround,abah always ensure that we pray either together or go to the nearest surau which is in our neighbourhood,and abah is so particular with our outfits and hijab.he makes sure that we wear the hijab way below our chest.And I always felt it was unfair that I hadn't had the opportunity to go to an islamic school before like my other sisters went,but Allah has planned something else for me,something better,the moment I entered DnT,I felt something new to me,the moment I joined usrah I felt rejoice,the moment I devote myself to Allah,I know I have to give what I loved which will only give me losses.jazakumullah to all akhawat for supporting.

And,I think we lead a really moderate lifestyle,whenever we want to go shopping,we would go to jusco bukit raja which is the nearest to shah alam,ummi is really good in her financial spending the fact that she teaches finance and the fact that she really plans her spendings,thats why I guess I would think for the umpteenth time just to buy one thing.Besides that,my attires aren't always from fancy outlets like padini,nicole,goggles or anything which would cost a fortune,sometimes I laugh to myself and think,am I that stingy to spend my money?but I guess not,I would preferably go for things that worth there price then go for things which cost hundreds just because of its brand or material.

so my mum and dad are not famous people nor do they have 'datuk' and 'datin' as their initials,but they really are the best parents in the world,I'm happy for what I am and I don't despise other if they don't agree with what I think.they have me raised me up well and to whatever extent i go in my life,that is because Allah has planned me the best and being part of the family is one of them.

now coming back to my DnT road, I guess,I'm still half cooked to be a good da'ie,I need lots and lots of hard work and effort to actually be a way better person and learn to live the life like the rasulullah and the sahabat did,may Allah grant them Jannah.

right now,what I'm trying to keep in mind is,how on earth am I going to prepare myself to do dakwah work in the land of taj mahal,it ain't easy peasy lemon squeezy right?

Saturday, March 12, 2011

wrapping up towels

i once asked you

pernah tak rasa,kalau kita rapat sangat dengan seseorang,kita rasa nak jauhkan diri je dengan orang tu?

and you answered

pernah je

and sadly you giggled,because i was serious.hey,i was being serious.

i hope we aren't that close enough,to make you want to back off from me :(

semua mukmin itu bersaudara,i'm your sister and you are mine too,forever!

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

she's cheer captain and i'm on the bleachers.

I was been told as a person who lives on a lie and there is lie on top of it and there is another lie above it,simply said,fake.

but thanks to this fellow of mine, because from that day onwards,i always question my acts,i'm no fake,but people don't see me as genuine,sadly said.

up until now the fact still haunts me and everything that happened today,bugged me thoroughly.

yes,I know that I'm glad to see you come back,smiling and happy with what you are currently,but what you said and what i reacted was was a conversation about you saying that you didn't attend the daurah because it was disturbing your holidays and the fact that the sharings can still be given back at your university.

hey,pergi programme bukan routine atau 'kalau ada masa aku pergi' thingy!

its about devoting yourself to this road!

me:i met her at bangi a few weeks ago,is she at your place?
x   :oh yes,she's at my place.wait,was it bangi or serdang?i was suppose to go there too,but still,since the sharing was done by my uni-mates,i decided not to since i can still get some sharings back at my uni.besides,they are disturbing my holidays.
me :ohh,em thats good,you are surely determined in whatever you're deciding.

what on earth is happening?!

i just agreed to some creature that its okay not to attend sharings in programmes or daurah!
i just said what sounded like it was good to put behind the road to paradise and prioritize your family and spend time to go here and there doing something else instead of joining programmes instead.
we really have different things going in our heads.

i feel like a backstabbed Allah and not at all putting up for myself as a muharikah.
i could've said,something way better than saying good,
or keep perfectly quiet about it.

i feel like a loser and i feel like i don't belong to you guys anymore.i can't stand the pressure of the coming exam where i still don't know how to maneuver my way to just pass through a little bit more of Alevels,i still don't know how to manage my time,and i still have problems with my sleeping addiction.




dear you,thanks for making everything a was nice since i spent it with you.every minutes were meaningful and trust me you are so adorable.the affection was way cooler than i expected and if i was allowed i would do it to you everyday.i hope you won't know how i exactly feel to you because you would cringe every moment i am with wasn't suppose to turn out this way,but its sincerely coming from the heart that sometimes its throbbing me.i never pour anything as much as that to you and i thank you for trusting me too,the fact that you pour them to me too.

seeing your face tremble or in dismay,makes me sad and seeing you smile makes my day.I shouldn't say more but i would like to walk with you on the roads to Jannah.

yes,i love you since you love Allah too!

Wednesday, March 2, 2011


enough of fesni
enough of feskott

i have a big job

we have a bigger job!