Friday, September 26, 2014

Kerana cuti musim panas sudah hampir berakhir

Saat aku berkeliaran dimuka bumi, aku sentiasa dihampiri makhluk tuhan.

Sama ada yang punyai barang yg hendak dijual sehinggalah meminta bantuan kewangan, dan setiap kali itu aku menolak dengan hati yg sangsi dan curiga

Sindiket kah mereka?
Betul2 susah kah mereka? 
Dan macam macam lagi la monolog dalaman.

Tapi aku lupa

Sebuah kebaikan itu bukan dititip kira dari si penerima tapi sebaliknya sipemberi

Buat apa bersangka buruk dengan manusia, saudara kita itu

Andai itu memudahkan urusan mereka, bukankah kita tumpang bahagia?

Dan kini, aku perhati sudah tiada yg dtg meminta, sudah kurang lubuk pahala yg satu.

Adakah sebab aku kikir, tuhan berkira dengan aku?

Maafkan aku yaAllah, kerna gagal menjadi wakil titipan rahmat buat manusia.

A dip of death and a tale to tell


Saya sebenarnya tak tahu macamana nak buat planad 
Tak tahu macamana? habis selama ni buat macamana??


Kalau awak pergi usrah tapi tak rasa betul-betul dibina, apa yang buat awak bergerak and keep steadfast on this road?


Olafs night, nama program tajmik kitorang, senyum. Jeda.
Why's the name so adorable?
Some people are just worth melting for.


Saya baru rasa gementar padahal insiden tu dah lama berlalu?
Kita banyak sangat ketawa dan terleka;
Allah remind terus,
Agaknya kalau dia tarik nyawa tadi, apa perkataan terakhir kita ya?

Hanya secebis of ipoh

I eventually reached Ipoh last night and after reading kafe biblioholic, i was so excited to reach novel hut and i did!


Only little did i know that it was only a small bookshop and it was situated among shop lots so it looked very humble with glorious books in it. I personally do think it was indah khabar dari rupa but who am i to blame, because i was the one putting expectations in the first place.Yet again, the writer described novel hut as such an amazing place and so cosy that i mentioned there were couches for you to sit, read and drift off to another land your personal read will take you too.

And basically the reality of the place is, it looks too formal and bold, mph would be more enlightening, the racks have sharp edges, it looks stuffed, the labels are all in arial font or was it time roman. The books are a lot but not as many as i imagined -,-' and thank god it does have good codes so i can basically search through sysytematically , though it doesnt keep record of the book data so you have to spend sometime on searching especially. the staffs are friendly yet i don't see their encouragement or interest towards books, too bad, and again why do i say so?

Well, i still remember an incident, it was in wakaf bharu, and near my grandma's house,
There was a book shop, and thus i entered to search if any book interested me and my hands flipped and tossed many books until i grabbed a bunch and schemed through.
I was so into a book that i sat down, crossed legs and eventually i bought it ;) 
Well i went to pay the books i wanted but i also wanted to find a book to my cousin, so i got back to the rack and took a book that i already eyed on, but hesitated to buy. I look at it for too long that i didnt realise someone passed by, and stood in front of me,

"Thats a nice book"
"I know, it is right! But im not sure if its okay for my cousin, she is still in her teens"
"Well it depends what type of book she likes. The thing about this books is, its so inspiring eventhough it looks like childish book.."
"I recommend you to buy another book instead, try a book about rabiatul adawiah, its nicely written and well told, maybe that could be suitable for her?" 
And the conversation continued a few minutes more before we departed.

Okay maybe you guys still dont get the point of the conversation right?

Well basically, this guy wasn't a staff of the book shop which was one thing, he was a mere worker in a grocery shop nextdoor. And it amazes me the fact that we kind of agreed regarding the same awesome book, though it wasn't an intellectual discussion anyway, but it is an achievement for me since i have just wiped the dust of my reading hobby and into it from day to day. And he also recommends a book with its synopsis showing that he really reads to the point that he can come up with comparisons and recommendations.

So that is what i call an ideal book shop staff, well he just got an unofficial best outside staff ever award from me,  even though there is no such thing.

Well back to novel hut,its choices of books are cheap, and are variant of genre. I bought two books of habiburrahman el shirazy's pieces, ayat ayat cinta and ketika cinta bertasbih, for a bargain of 35 ringgit !


Well all in all, we have to have our eyes wide open to see what a book has to say. In a book im currently reading, alif lam lam ha, ada quote yang buat kita termuhasabah sejauh mana kita memberi penilaian yang adil terhadap sesebuah buku, 

Begitu murah nilai ilmu di dalam buku dan begitu mahal untuk memeliharanya.

I think, personally that kerana technicals, novel hut mendapat kekangan untuk menjadikan itself a book haven for us.

Lets pray for the future of book shops in Malaysia.
There is one thing i want to ask from you;
that is to teach me the essence of gratitude,

Sure, if you are willing to be just a little patient to learn of it.

Again teach me to do that as well;

Don't you worry, we'll learn together, 
because we both aren't teachers, we are preachers remember.

My heart did a somersault and smiled.

Thursday, September 25, 2014

Final destination

If pinocchio was telling lies, his nose would grow and inch long by day,

But if i were to lie, what would grow beyond its norm, would be a sin that can weigh out all the good deeds off!

If i dont know, then i were to say i dont know,

Berkata baik atau diam.

Because today i tasted a pinch of death, I start to fear, what will my last words on earth be,

Would it be about gossips?
Would it be about backbites?
Would it be about reckless and meaningless stuffs?

Or something that takes me a step closer to remember Him.

Allahumma inni nas aluka akhir kalamuna la ilaha illallah!

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Because you do not want to be hurt, thus you back off.

Hijrah itu perlu untuk permulaan baru.


Monday, September 22, 2014

A senior of mine is going to be wedded and her future zauj only wanted one thing from her,

That is to have patience(الصبر) throughout their life together.

I think this is so deeply romantic. 

An open space to breathe

When my new friend came to meet me in town during my birthday.

I knew either it will make me towards Allah or go astray.

Everything was going fine until i installed social media applications, it was like a stalk feeder, and with a not-so-having-an-iman-yang-kuat inside me, I have certainly fell for those. I fell for a yet a tiny piece of device that is so strongly bonded to the globalised world.

Days before, before we have devices that are portable and we can bring here and there and install internet apps here and there to know whats happening to the world, I used to be on murai or beautifulnara until I came to a sense that these websites feed gossips and some gossips are fitnah, and Allah despises fitnah!

So, with a hard time recovering, he let me try to be strong against myself. Ihsan please!

Wanting to post something on Instagram or twitter or scrolling through Tumblr or Facebook,

Semua tu bersandarkan apa sebenarnya?

Gathering haunted likes?
Waiting for mesmerising comments?
Getting awed over others beauty,achievements and thus saying yours are too bad that you are nearly at the verge of useless?

Oh this world is full of impurity you are intolerable!

Benarlah andai dunya di hati, kita akan hilang akhirat.

I reside myself to blogging i suppose, even though its an amazingly old fashioned public diary. Yet it is not as spooky as the other social medias I mentioned above.

And why do I like it again?

Because for me words are not only just for expression, its more about gaining something, as simple as a reminder.

When i read mines back, it makes me remind myself of Allah the AlMighty especially if the post was about Islam, then again, agama itu sendiri nasihat.

Akhir sekali, doakan saya jadi penulis yang disayang tuhan, yang mencurahkan idea berupa nasihat dan peringatan dan menulis sehabis ikhlas, kerna pena mampu mengubah dunia.

Disclaimer; i am not despising social networks or the users, its a mere reminder for me especially.

Friday, September 19, 2014

Jumaah barakah

Andai sesebuah perkara dilakukan dengan tidak bersandarkan Allah 'azza wajalla,
Jadilah kita manusia yang rugi.

Enough said, 
Because it explains all.


(Katakanlah (wahai Muhammad): "Mahukah Kami khabarkan kepada kamu akan orang-orang yang paling rugi amal-amal perbuatannya?)


((Iaitu) orang-orang yang telah sia-sia amal usahanya dalam kehidupan dunia ini, sedang mereka menyangka bahawa mereka sentiasa betul dan baik pada apa sahaja yang mereka lakukan".)

I was on my writing a short piece and I was nearly finished, where the next thing i knew, the screen turned blank,

It was all gone,

Sadis :'(

again, sisters love wins all.
a true act of love thaws the frozen heart
i like how nicely done the movie 'frozen' is, where it actually focuses and portrays mainly sisters' love,

and when anna and elsa settled down together eventually in arandelle after all those years apart, i really felt like wanting to go and hug all my sisters and say sorry for all bad stuffs i did and say to them,


macintosh rebranding.

i just realised that sheikh mustafa masyhur, shares the same birthday as mine!

i guess that adds up on iman-tidak-diwarisi-list, which means though having the same birth date,it doesn't mean you are all equally awesome. But knowing that a great person was borned on the same date as mine, inspires me.

he wrote a number of books and one of it was bekalan dalam jalan dakwah, where he humbly mentions, how he hopes the book really becomes a boost for du'at out there to go further and deeper in jalan dakwah!

this date, this year,

gave a lot of emotional meaning.

Happy birthday dear me!

wise decision made.

My sister won again in an essay competition!

mabrouk alayk ifah!

and what topples her win is how she dismisses the prizing ceremony to go with us in a family outing.


that sacrifice is priceless.

that decision is hard to make, but she chose wisely.

I look up to her in so many ways that sometimes,I think I overdo the act of love of a big sister to her little addition, this is because she isn't fond of hugs or kisses that much, she is the quiet type of person, who rarely expresses her inner feelings.

Ifah, is such an admirable sister, she always gets done the house chores like bill payments, groceries and etc. She also takes that big sister responsibility since I'm always away home by giving advices here and there to the little ones at school.

that explains how close the three of them, ifah, yam and ahmad are!

And the most awesome part is, she always puts ummi and abah's decision way beyond her own, and this humble kind of act really fits the statement of an authentic hadith,
 keredhaan Allah letaknya pada redha ibu bapa dan kemurkaan Allah letaknya pada murka ibu bapa, 
which reflects how muhim(important) it is to listen, and follow what our parents ask us to do, wants us to make. And we should patuh dan taat selagi ia mengikuti shariah, bukan?

dan itulah yang saya cuba gain sepanjang cuti musim panas yang panjang ini.

keredhaan ibu bapa itu,
dengan menggembirakan mereka,
dengan mengelak dari buat mereka marah,
birrul wiladain.

cuba, dan terus cuba until ikhlas!

because I'm happy!

 because I'm happy,
 clap along if you know what happiness is to you,
because I'm happy, 
clap along if you feel like happiness is the truth,
 I have resumed my positive vibe and having the full rights to say that I am so happy, right now, thanks to the Al Mighty, Alhamdulillah.

How do I define happy?

I can simply put that happy is present tense,thus it shows brief and short emotion and it doesnt last long, but happiness is a long term, and gives a more eternal feeling.

So I am trying my best to channel that 'happy' feeling to 'happiness'.

And usually happy feeling happens for a reason.

indeed it does.

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

IQRA wahai bani adam!

I keep on stumbling upon those who just love to read books.

They are enthusiastic about them, they are critical and analatiycal when it comes to discussing a current issue and they really express a positive vibe.

But unforunately, i happen to realise that i myself, barely finish a book in a year, sekaligus menyimpulkan, bahawasanya, ada benar survey yang dilakukan atas rakyat msia, di mana average rakyat msia hanya mampu baca dua pages of a book in a year.

Dua muka surat?!

Kegilaan apakah ini.

Again tak payah pergi sejauh jauhnya dan meneliti masyarakat umum, tengok cermin dan cermin diri, pun boleh jatuh terduduk, sedih memikirkannya. Betapa tahap kemalasan untuk duduk dan baca buku atau kepayahan untuk cari masa baca buku sudah cukup menjadi bukti ketamadunan sesebuah bangsa.

Ada org kata, ketamadunan ssebuah bangsa direflect kan oleh sejauh mana rakyat negara itu terikat dengan buku atau membaca sebanyak banyaknya sebarang bentuk pembacaan ilmiah.

Tapi ini hanyalah luahan pukal. 

Kan awal awal statement saya, mengatakan, 

I keep stumbling upon those who just love to read books sekaligus menjadi booster untuk saya membuka buku dan membaca.

Makanya, masih ada manusia yang suka membaca buku pada zaman alaf baru ini dan mereka rakyat malaysia yang pastinya!

And if you are one of those, mabrouk!

And indeed for me, when i started to read a book,i start to wander into the labyrinth of stories.


Sehinggakan saya sudah terlupa kali terakhir saya begitu masyuk sekali membaca buku, di mana it was ages ago, back then when i was around 8, starting off with Enid Blyton in the famous five series and the Malory Tower series. How i remember myself seeking for the books during carboot sales. And once bought, nak cepat cepat balik sbb nak masuk dunia mereka berlima dan merasai adventure terbaru mereka or merasai kehidupan asrama darrel rivers yang sentiasa berhadapan dengan pelbagai cerita sepanjang alam persekolahan.

I remember i couldnt do anything else until i finished the book, it was like drinking cold water on a sunny day when you are really thirsty.

When i grew up a little older, i was exposed to harry potter series and i have to say, jk rowling had a superb way in connecting the whole series not making the story line bumpy or questionable. And the best part was, every time it ended, it never failed to leave that wondering-what-will-happen next feeling.

And then, the trails of reading left my memories, i dont think i was exposed anymore to reading books. 

There was also a phase, where i was exposed to malay novels, where the plot was cliche and romantic that i fell for these not-so-useful books and i happened to read them and only them during that phase.

I mean, how could you forgive an author, when they write a novel, either watak utamanya kahwin dipaksa kerana wasiat, atau perjanjian datuk nenek, or worst tangkap basah dan selepas itu mereka belajar untuk jatuh cinta. Sesenang itukah kehidupan reality? Mudahnya.

Namun seingat saya, saya gagal untuk membaca dengan jayanya sewaktu dalam kesibukan a levels. Mungkin adalah selak sana sini, tapi saya sudah kurang membaca.

Sehinggalah ke hari ini, baru saya jumpa balik momentumnya, dan ya, rasa seperti dikembalikan ruh semula ke sesebuah jasad untuk bangun hidup selepas koma bertahun tahun.

Benarlah membaca membuatkan seseorang itu kembali hidup.

Dan saya nak pegang momentum ini sampai bila-bila kerana wahyu pertama islam adalah seruan membaca.

Maka saya ingin pinta doa dari ilahi, agar bacaan kita itu, mampu membangunkan diri dan membentuk jiwa. Kerana buku itu lebih lebih lagi buku dari allah, hadirnya untuk kita lebih memahami erti hidup ini.

Jadi para hadirin sekalian, bacalah!

And with that, i would like to end this post with a meaningful dialog between kamelia and redza in the book sepetang di kafe biblioholic written by ainunl muaiyanah where Redza made me realise, there is more to feel and expect from reading. Again books arent merely writing on parchments of papers, but they symbolize life.

"Saya tak tahu pula awak suka baca buku," kata kamelia

"Saya suka membaca, tetapi tak suka menunjuk saya suka baca buku," balas redza

"Saya tak suka kalau kita menunjukkan bahan bacaan pada umum. Beli buku, ambil gambar dan muat naik di laman sosial untuk menunjuk kita suka dan beli banyak buku. Spesies ini dinamakan tsundoku, bererti suka membeli buku dan membiarkan buku yang tak dibaca di atas lantai," sambung redza 

"Tapi, mereka nak kongsi perasaan membeli buku," getus kamelia

"Tapi apa guna beli banyak buku dan tunjuk pada orang kalau tak dibaca? Atau baca banyak buku tapi tak langsung membangunkan diri dan menjadikan orang itu lebih halus dan sensitif pada persekitarannya," balas redza

"Ramai orang yang membaca, tetapi berapa ramai yang benar-benar membaca," sambung redza lagi.

(I modified the dialog because it was too long and i only kept the dialogs containing the message that i wanted to deliver)

Saturday, September 6, 2014

I think i need to detach my social media with reality world.

It bugs me.

How ungrateful am i to feel that?

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Perhentian berhantu.


The moment im writing his, its full of rage and anger.

Its full of impatience and aghast.

Im in a total mess, i mean in the inside.

I wish that i could be oblivion.

I wish that i could make the world work as I plan it to be.In addition, I wish i could lay out a good plan as well.

I wish that i could stop making excuses.

I wish that i could get my other half as qawiy as could ever be and more nicer than prince charming.

I wish i had kids as magnificent as al fateh.

I keep wishing. But my wishes are like daydreams.

Angan angan kosong.

Hakikatnya hanya Allah yang tahu.

Betapa kerdil, teruk dan tak guna nya diri ini.

Walau sudah di galaskan khalifah itu, rasanya i just messed around with it.

I used it as a name tag instead of membumikan khalifah dalam diri.

Pokok sudah mahu tumbang, kerana akar itu tidak mencengkam tanah.

I am at the verge of failing, failing to see how awesome my creator is.

I am at the verge of falling off the cliff, because i didnt see that His faith was the only rope to cling on.

I am at the verge of useless, because I didnt use His creations to admire Him.

Sedih la.

Sedih dengan diri sendiri. 
Marah dengan diri sendiri.

I think i lived in a world full of fantasy before this, im losing my grip. I do not know if i am able to be part of that biah solehah anymore.

I just want to exclude myself. Because i do not know myself anymore.

Forgive me dear Lord, I do not understand what I'm doing anymore. I just dont seem to get it.

Can I excuse myself?

Monday, September 1, 2014

Merdekakah aku?

When i still stumble upon these pool of filthy jahiliyyah!