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Perhentian berhantu.

Astaghfirullah

The moment im writing his, its full of rage and anger.

Its full of impatience and aghast.

Im in a total mess, i mean in the inside.

I wish that i could be oblivion.

I wish that i could make the world work as I plan it to be.In addition, I wish i could lay out a good plan as well.

I wish that i could stop making excuses.

I wish that i could get my other half as qawiy as could ever be and more nicer than prince charming.

I wish i had kids as magnificent as al fateh.

I keep wishing. But my wishes are like daydreams.

Angan angan kosong.

Hakikatnya hanya Allah yang tahu.

Betapa kerdil, teruk dan tak guna nya diri ini.

Walau sudah di galaskan khalifah itu, rasanya i just messed around with it.

I used it as a name tag instead of membumikan khalifah dalam diri.

Pokok sudah mahu tumbang, kerana akar itu tidak mencengkam tanah.

I am at the verge of failing, failing to see how awesome my creator is.

I am at the verge of falling off the cliff, because i didnt see that His faith was the only rope to cling on.

I am at the verge of useless, because I didnt use His creations to admire Him.

Sedih la.

Sedih dengan diri sendiri. 
Marah dengan diri sendiri.


I think i lived in a world full of fantasy before this, im losing my grip. I do not know if i am able to be part of that biah solehah anymore.

I just want to exclude myself. Because i do not know myself anymore.

Forgive me dear Lord, I do not understand what I'm doing anymore. I just dont seem to get it.

Can I excuse myself?

Comments

Aqeelah said…
@itekkiut, i miss you too <3

p/s i saw aisyah the other day at her abang's wed

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Baru kita sedar nikmat kesihatan apabila dicuit dengan sedikit kesakitan.

bismillah, where should i start...

Ceritanya, sekarang ni, i am actually facing my final semester examinations (Im actually halfway through in finishing this medical degree!)

And to make the story brief, pelajar tahun akhir ni Alex, coursenya akan terbahagi kepada dua semester,

Semester pertama : department surgery
Semester kedua : department internal medicine

Dan setiap semester tu ada penilaian akhir yang macam apa kami tengah pulun right now.

Jadi in the midst of examinations, one of my housemate triggered me to actually search in the Quran if there were any words, or kisah or verse regarding surgery.

And so I did, with the help of bayan apps, I searched ج ر ح .

which if spelt together, جرح .

There is a signboard which i always see whenever i enter the buidling at my faculty for clinical rounds, …