The moment im writing his, its full of rage and anger.
Its full of impatience and aghast.
Im in a total mess, i mean in the inside.
I wish that i could be oblivion.
I wish that i could make the world work as I plan it to be.In addition, I wish i could lay out a good plan as well.
I wish that i could stop making excuses.
I wish that i could get my other half as qawiy as could ever be and more nicer than prince charming.
I wish i had kids as magnificent as al fateh.
I keep wishing. But my wishes are like daydreams.
Angan angan kosong.
Hakikatnya hanya Allah yang tahu.
Betapa kerdil, teruk dan tak guna nya diri ini.
Walau sudah di galaskan khalifah itu, rasanya i just messed around with it.
I used it as a name tag instead of membumikan khalifah dalam diri.
Pokok sudah mahu tumbang, kerana akar itu tidak mencengkam tanah.
I am at the verge of failing, failing to see how awesome my creator is.
I am at the verge of falling off the cliff, because i didnt see that His faith was the only rope to cling on.
I am at the verge of useless, because I didnt use His creations to admire Him.
Sedih dengan diri sendiri.
Marah dengan diri sendiri.
I think i lived in a world full of fantasy before this, im losing my grip. I do not know if i am able to be part of that biah solehah anymore.
I just want to exclude myself. Because i do not know myself anymore.
Forgive me dear Lord, I do not understand what I'm doing anymore. I just dont seem to get it.
Can I excuse myself?