Tuesday, January 29, 2013

midnight ramble

Sometimes, I just forget, that I'm human.
Sometimes, I just forget, that its been a while since asked from Him.
Sometimes, just sometimes, these feelings come, to wake me up.

To wake up the sleeping giant.

Teringat jaulah langkawi bersama akhawat, that beautiful memory, still placed preciously inside me.Bukan tak pernah pergi langkawi, pernah je, but the feeling was different with them.

That magical different.

I guess, I just have to give chance for another magical thing to happen again right?

The stunning panaroma captured, the exquisite surrounding shown and the happiness glowing in the faces, creeps jealousy inside me.

Jealousy that overshadows the intentions.

Dangerous and intoxicating shaytan never fails to stop whispering to the qalbu, to do according to hawa', I know its wrong, I just simply forgot.

Monday, January 28, 2013

gold plated creatures

as the camels run across the sahara desert, under the glowing sun and having the time of its life, we complain of the heat and temperature, wanting to be cooled down and feeling comfortable. camels, the creations of Allah, a lesson for us all.

things going on inside the limbic system.

Semua dalam midst of examination, me, you and all of us.

And tadi ternyata apabila dikhabarkan muzaharat (riots) besar-besaran di sharie(road) abu ir, which was very near to the uni, proved that our exam tomorrow is more bigger than the riots ) O.O

Inside the morgue,no one moved, not one inch, everyone' eyes was on the cadaver's organ. The pakcik penjaga morgue, the guards and even the dukturs came and told us to return home, but no one cared. Everyone just continued back to whatever were they doing before that.

Even though I didn't get to revise thoroughly just now,again, safety is suppose to come first, thus, I really hope, that tomorrow, Im able to answer the questions given perfectly well,with His wills, Ameen Ya Rabb.

I need to excel, for the sake of Allah, dakwah and my family.

And last night, alhamdulillah, after too many obstacles, i finally got to skype with Elis, gosh do I miss her. Her words, her smiles, her comfort and basically her love. She was too adorable to be true, and she's also having her finals soon, so I guess we're in the same boat now.

We talked a lot, from the true meaning of ikhtilat, to ukhuwwah, to the final actions of saidina umar before his last breath, how he trusted Saidina Uthman bin Affan to be the next khalifah.

And among her stories that touched me to the fullest, was how a kakak adviced them, that medical students, are acknowledged to be full time busy, thus, we ourselves NEED to commit and give our full focus on it, thus we HAVE to give time to ALLAH and when He calls, we need to answer back.

So jangan pernah berkira dengan masa, wang ringgit, dan tenaga untuk ke jalan Allah,

bukankah dakwah dan belajar seiringan, takkan pernah salah satunya tertinggal ataupun ditinggalkan betul?

And referring to firman Allah dalam surah an-nahl ayat 93, memang Allah ada sebut, Dia boleh buat di dunia, satu umat sahaja, tapi Dia buat dua, mereka yang ingkar, dan golongan yang patuh.

And the highlight of this ayat is, Allah will ask what YOU did during the dunia.

what did you do?

Kalau yang masih tengah cari kepentingan untuk bertarbiyyah, keep on finding it, Allah kan kira effort dan Dia takkan zalimi hambaNya,

Kalau baru di dalam tarbiyyah dan rasa tiada perubahan dalam diri, sabarlah  dan yakinlah,sudah ada dan akan ada perubahan walau sebesar zarah,

Kalau sudah dalam tarbiyyah dan merasakan bibit stagnant, statik, atau lebih tepat futur, berpeganglah pada tali ini, teruslah bergelumang dengan akhawat, tapi paling penting luahkanlah isi hati kepada Dia, yang lagi Mendengar, lagi Mengetahui.

dan to my beloved adik usrah, I really do not know how to say this, but girls and boys really can't be best friends.

They just can't.

"sebelum diijabkabulkan,
syariah tetap membataskan,
pelajari ilmu rumah tangga,
agar kita lebih bersedia,
menuju hari yang bahagia."

see, syariah tetap membataskan any legal relationship before marriage.

peringatan untuk diri akak yang hina ini juga.


Wednesday, January 16, 2013


One word, deep meaning.

I wanted to choose, and I know I have to choose,

but I don't know how, I don't know which is better,

And we will never know whats best for us, until we start choosing,

Only He knows right, whats the right choice for us.

So, ask Him, for the best choice.

Bunyi senang dan mudah, tapi memerlukan, kesabaran dan keikhlasan.

kita hidup pun untuk please Dia, so why hesitate?

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Winter breaks, pit stops from the hectic medical school.

Either to return to Kota Syam yang penuh barakah atau singgah di Kota Andalusia di mana tamadun islam pernah termetrai di situ.

two o thirteen

Today is the first of january two thousand and thirteen. Yes, sudah berganjak setahun. Hakikatnya, kalau ikut kalender kita, sudah lama kita masuk 1434 right, sudah beberapa 'syuhur' which is month passed by. Dan tekad yang tinggi after maal hijrah to keep on track the hijriah calender, tapi then after a fortnight dah lost count and pejam pejam celik dah masuk bulan safar -,- .

Thus, its kinda sad sebab belum berpeluang untuk gunakan tarikh according hijriah calendar secara berleluasa. Pernahlah juga membicarakan perkara ini with housemates, and our resolution was, we have to encounter ustaziyatul alam at first, in order for the whole world to use the hijriah calender, and to reach the top, kenalah bermula dari bawah, and kenalah work for the first step : individu muslim.

Imam hassan Al banna, came up with the maratib amal, for us to have some guidance, where we are heading and how to head there. And it is our responsibility to ensure that people around us are eager to purify each other in being a very humble and responsible slave of Allah. And usrah is the solution.

Usrah.Bulatan gembira.Sharing.

Whatever you call it, as long as the liqa' is to remember Allah and cleanse ourselves, so baaaaam! You've landed in such a miraculously place, the surreal pit stop before entering Jannah.

Its not with whom we are having usrah with, but its why we are doing usrah?

kenapa nak usrah?

kenapa kena bawak usrah?

As simple as to get His redha.

Thus resolution for this new year. 2013. A year full of hopes and dreams. A better year.

As an individu yang muslimah :)