I'm nervous,exams are the most upcoming events above all,so all eyes on the book people!The moment I need some hugs and comforts,I receive an email from ummi,tears start running down,going out of that lacrimal duct of Allah's.
Jazakillah ummi,for reminding me that Allah is always there for us,
Rabbuna Yusahhil mummy for the viva and house chores,
And when my servants ask you concerning Me,then surely I am very near; I answer the prayer of the suppliant when he calls on Me,so they should answer My call and believe in Me that they may walk in the right way
We can never judge people because each person that stops by in our life, will give a lesson no matter how.For the past two days with the most innocent people i've ever been with,reminds me back the memories I use to have with my adik-adik,Fatin,Iqa,Lily,Ainin,hanan,haz,along and yaya and not to miss out the beloved Adie and Fiqah who are now safely with their bulatan gembira in respective countries,Czech republic and Indonesia.
After being on hiatus several months,adapting with Egypt itself,the surroundings,new environement,new people and basically getting to know with the people around me,wasn't like eating nasi ayam back at home.I had to face,phases of tearful nights,depression,lonliness, which was a norm for the first few months,and sometimes it still is if I drift in my lala land,but alhamdulillah thum alhamdulillah thum alhamdulillah,my spirits were lifted because I officially joined usrah with akhawats the same age as me,and were also first years.Subhanallah,Allah's plan are beyond the plans of human themselves.i am so deeply in love with my own circle of love,Afifah,Zakiyya,Diyanah,Atiqah.
When we sit together,duduk beriman sejenak and share the words from our Creator,a different feeling arise,its like being immense in the poor world by remembering Allah gaining spirits.It gave me strength to start everything from scratch yet the same old anxiety and nervousness came back.But in the name of Allah the Most Gracious i begin my seek.
The mad'u hunting.
Will the adik-adik reject me? How will I create tsiqoh with them? What to cook,forgodsake?! And questions after questions keep playing in my head.
But with tawakkal to allah and a little pushing factor inside,Alhamdulillah, i went for it.No one said being in jalan dakwah is easy as strolling in the park to get the beautiful sunset view.I faced hardships and ran out of ideas whenever in front of them,but slowly,pacing the footsteps,it taught me a lot.
Not everyone knows the sweetness of Ad-Deen,and to those out there who feels it,lets work hand in hand to spread the same feeling to others.And like I always mention,because I really want it,to meet everyone I know and brothers and sisters of Islam,in the garden of Delights,one fine day.
Now stepping on reality,we have a very big exam coming just around the corner,so I feel lost for these past two days,I mean hesitating here and there,wanting to pause from dakwah work to focus on study.But alas,how can I be so selfish,how can I think of my own self when the society nowadays are very severe.As a da'ie,I shoudln't have that fikrah.Instead of running away,I have to blend in the dunya,not pause.I must say,that its not easy,but I can do my dakwah despite anything coming in the way regarding dunya,with the condition that I'm able to manage time,I dont procastinate and above all,I must always return back to Him.
Plead from Him,
Seek from Him,
Depend on Him.
Those who believe and whose hearts are set at rest by the remembrance of Allah ; now surely by Allah's remembrance are the hearts set at rest
So,did I mention my adik-adik are so innocent.Ah yes,I guess I've said it several times,but they truly are! They love to cook,and I think they feed me much better than I should feed them,they always skype with their parents,the love their families so much,they dont have boyfriends and have never had any,they talk,giggle,study,complaint about sleeping in class sometimes,solat jemaah and they even eat in dulangs.Comel kan?
They are those adik-adik that when they are given understandings and explanations of the purpose of life,tuning their mindsets here and there,and in no minutes time,they would be like flowers blooming in Spring.
And I,would always pray that they become the flowers of the Deen,InshaAllah.
a medicine to this lonely heart,
as the words from the Creator consoles the pain inside,
as it is an indescribable feeling,
the urge to not stay back from this dakwah,
as not to be a selfish person,
and continuously holding hands with many,
to enter His Jannah together,
by spreading the words of Islam,
and to keep walking on this road even though the pace is slow,
and to keep standing up each time falling,
to keep reminding the Lord is the Greatest compared to us,
and the reason to continuously shed the tears because of Him.
Buat ukhti sekalian,saya sungguh rindu kalian,gelak tawa kalian,bermesyuarat tentang adik-adik,berjaulah bersama-sama,bergaduh kadang kala dan bercinta kerana dia, ayuh terus terusan mengejar cintaNya, dan menjadi benteng pertahanan Islam!
Buat Athina,jazakillah sangat sangat, sesungguhnya,walaupun berjauhan namun tetap merasa kemanisan kurma itu kan?
"Walaupun kita berjauhan, dipisahkan oleh jarak dan masa, tidak bertentang wajah dan mata, namun kita tetap berbuka dengan kurma yang sama."
taken from angelwearsgucci.blogspot.com
I have nothing to say than I'm sorry,it is now awkward,weird and monotonous each time words are said.i prefer being drop dead silence than bursting into tears each time talking.
Its not the matter of not being happy for you only, its the matter of losing some part of me,some part that use to be happy to have you to lean on or to talk to or even to snuggle with.
To wake me up for Subuh and to pray jemaah,wasnt that cool each time,with that mesmerizing voice of yours reciting the words from Allah,subhanaAllah.Reminding one another when one was diverging from His road.To console me with optimistic advices and positive enhancement,and to just smother me with that special ukhuwwah we had.
Only as time passes by,I just realised that you are better without me.
apologies given vividly,I'm sorry again ukhti,ma'alesh.
I need a break.detachment from the cruel world.no,no,no the world itself isnt cruel.indeed not!it is,then again Allah's creation.
I just need a break from the revolution and evolution of the world itself.Away from the people full of masks and false.Away from the ongoing technology.Immensing in the dunya might then again make me drown in misery,please Lord,take me with you.
and alhamdulillah in this dunya,people are still changing and turning into new leaves,making hijrah,from the worst to the best,i read blogs,statuses of my friends,and also jumping from blogs to blogs of a whole bunch of unknown people,even though we dont know each other,but the bond of aqidah running in our veins make the ukhuwwah stronger,yes it does! Knowing that everyone is believing and in love with the words from Him,our Creator.
and the best part is,when we get to see Him in the Garden of Delights ,we all cry of happiness mashaAllah,its an honor indeed to meet Him.
He is Allah,the Creator,the Shaper out of nothing,the fashioner.His are the most beautiful names.All that is in the heavens and in the earth gives Him glory,and He is the Mighty,the Wise.
let it be me against the world.
what a nice feeling to be in love with Allah.No pain,no disappointment,no worries.Just blessings,mercy and peace.