Thursday, August 3, 2017

you are what you read

I was relentless enjoying myself with books recently. I was reading quite a number of it, because if a drew a graph, it was not plateau. It actually gave me a new life. i completely felt like someone given a second chance to live. These books, opened me up in many dimensions. It tells me about the reality of lives, about sacrifice for the sake of love, how a human when entangled with healthy surrounding, would also grow happily, would return to the Lord who created the world and mankind.

and to quote some, in one of an autobiography book written by anfaal saari, a figure who i actually look up to when it comes to dakwah and tarbiyah, she was writing about how she really loved to read.

Saya akui adakalanya saya tenggelam dalam keindahan kata,konsep idea dan tulisan penulis, tapi gagal menterjemahkannya ke alam realiti. Perkara ini sering ditegur oleh Ammar. Akhirnya, isi kandungan buku bukan semata ilmu yang diserap masuk ke dalam akal dan jiwa kita, tetapi kita perlu perhatikan kesan daripada pembacaan buku tersebut terhadap realiti kehidupan kita. Kita boleh membaca sepuluh buah buku atau lebih dalam sebulan, tetapi bagaimanakah ilmu dari buku itu kita terjemahkan dalam kehidupan? Malah kita juga tidak perlu bersetuju 100% dengan penulis dan boleh melakukan contestation of idea pada buku tersebut - bahagia bukan gembira, anfaal saari

 The words were simple, yet mind-blowing. ter'automatic' kompas setting diri, niat membaca. memang betul membaca itu budaya sihat. ia sudah lama termaktub dalam kitab yang menjadi panduan hidup mukmin, Iqra, bismirabbika khalaq! maka, kita kena lihat, each time we read, either a page or a chapter or the whole book, apa ibrah yang kita boleh ambil dan apply dalam hidup.

seorang yang faham erti bahasa dan sastera, cerminannya boleh dilihat pada budi bahasa - prof muhammad haji salleh
Dari pembacaan ini jugalah, sebenarnya menghasilkan akhlak. apa yang kita tonjolkan adalah from what we feed ourself.  malah untuk beramal itu, apatah jikalau kita nak amal itu dikira, sudah tentu kita kena beramal soleh. maka perlu ada pada ilmu.

dan sebahagiaan ilmu itu kita peroleh dari membaca. pembacaan demi pembacaan akan membuat penguasaan kita tentang sesuatu ilmu itu makin bertambah, bukanlah menidakkan wasilah lain seperti ceramah atau talks tetapi kadang tak semua ilmu ada dalam youtube atau disebut dalam ceramah/tazkirah. maka saat itu, peranan pencarian bahan bacaan penting untuk kita menambah kefahaman dan menguatkan keyakinan.

In another book, or cerpen written by hlovate, garpu dan camca, also captured my attention where there was debate between two people , regarding the types of reading one should read.

said a guy,

those kind of books that solely play with emotions of the readers and nothing else, it has no purpose! Like Sparks! Of plots that revolve around who is going to end up with whom, that you can totally tell from the first page! And the roller coaster of emotions and romantic notions...pure rubbish and a waste of time!
a reply from another guy in this story,
I personally think reading is so much like eating. popcorn and junk food are bad for health, but thats what people like most, anyway. If they tend to take too much sugar overdose, well...they'll get cavities.So do something to ensure that the consumption is well-balanced 
 Go and pick-up Tolstoy's and cikgu shanon;s for some slap of reality for the carb. grab unman twang's and coleridgre or words worth's works to enjoy the beauty of language, work and poetry for protein. make some time for the articles in Times or newsweek because they are equivalent to vitamins and minerals to keep you check. And you only need some small amount of sugar and and the whatever minor nutrients that we need less, buts still need nonetheless. And this is the part where you grab some light reading. Like popcorn, light novels pun ada sustenance even sesudu. Once in a while is okay, but don't make it your staple diet
but no matter how objective i made it looked like before, reading is also as subjective as enjoying a painting. Different individuals has different interpretations of what they see, hear, and taste. Beauty and quality lie in the eyes of the beholder.
people ada intrepretation senderi. Some find books insightful, quirky, or life changing and others might find them as uber-trash.it depends on the kind of person you really are. of what you want, and what you want to find. 
The dialogs were not in a consequence, but putting it together, my message was, to actually start reading books, from books that capture your heart first, so at least orang kata, dah start engine, hati dah suka. Perlahan-lahan, kita mencari dan memilih buku-buku yang lebih membuah kan fikiran yang dynamic. but it takes time,

bak kata Yani, in the very same book,
take some time to breathe.Take one step at a time. Even a pearl is not culture overnight. It took months and years to change the sand grain, same goes with the change of mentality. 
dulu, my genre was only chic-lit or so called romance. if not, i could finish a book. but after i found the right one, i couldn't stop myself from reading and slowly it developed to many genres. and i hope, it never will though.

thus, i end myself with kak anfaal's quote,

you are what you read. maka, pilihlah bacaan yang sihat, bukan sekadar mengisi masa lapang dan terbang di awangan dunia imaginasasi. Pilihlah bacaan yang mengangkat kita menjadi ulul albab; golongan yang membaca,berfikir, menterjemahkannya menjadi amal dan akhirnya tunduk kerdil melihat kebesaran-Nya lalu semakin mendekat dengan Pencipta.

I hope myself clear to my very own self. And semoga terus membaca dan membaca hingga ke jannah!

flames of fire

Jika disebut tentang musim, secara amnya, ada musim bunga, panas, luruh dan sejuk. Di mesir pula, secara amnya ada dua yang dominan, iaitu musim sejuk dan panas, tapi di antara dua musim itu, akan terselit musim bunga. Dan pada waktu ini, bunga akan mekar seindah pawana, hingga ia turut mencuit hati yang lara untuk tidak terus tenggelam dalam luka, ataupun ia mampu menguntumkan sebuah senyuman ke atas makhluk yang bernama manusia.

Dan saat aku menulis ini, aku sedang melalui musim panas. 

Musim panas sangat digemari oleh diri ini, sebab Sang Suria seolah-olah beaming happily sehingga ia menghantar bahang panas ke seluruh tempat. Boleh cecah 40 degrees! I like being in a warm and sunny area. It enlightens your day! Lebih-lebih lagi di Mesir, musim ini menjadi pilihan hati rakyat, untuk berkelah dan berjemur di tepi pantai Kornish bersama keluarga yang tersayang.

ahh, bakal aku rindu suasana ini.

Tapi bukan ini semua yang nak menjadi pilihan pokok pembicaraan hari ini. Saya berpendapat, apabila kita bercakap tentang panas, ia simbolik kepada api.

and if we look into it deeper, api adalah asal usual iblis, makhluk ego itu!

a few days back, an ukht approached me and asked, 

"akk, kenapa dalam whatsapp akk respond macam tu, akk 'panas' ya?"

sambil tertunduk aku balas,

"agak 'panas'lah, akk pun tak tahu kenapa, tapi akk takleh terima respond dia macam tu"

jawab dia tenang,

"sabar ya kak".

Ceritanya, I was in a conversation, and i responded not really cool, I gave a not so nice emoji, and someone told me off. well sort of told me off, but i was pissed of, thus i replied back in a manner questioning her back whether my action was so bad. but then again, it wasn't cool at all and it only made me look dumber. 

all in all, another ukht who was silently reading our conversation, asked me personally, similar to what I told above.

Indeed, at that time I feel a sense of dissatisfying, or 'panas" I would automatically lose patient and if I couldn't get a grip of myself, I would say unnecessary things.

ridiculous right?!

it is, these few days, I easily get annoyed and 'panas' and slowly its affecting my relationship with humans. I can easily dismiss those who I disagree with, which is totally not parallel to the theme, 

fasobrun jamil.

Perasaan panas, sebenarnya suatu perasaan yang bakar hati, and it sometimes bakal rational, and kita kan bertindak terburu-buru ikut emosi.

takut saja, panas itu mendekati kita dengan makhluk yang seusul dengan nya, malah kita berkawan, berfikir dan berbicara seperti makhluk itu.

tak nak, bukan?!

Dan sebenarnya, siraman terbaik waktu hati di bakar api benci, adalah siraman iman yang sabar. Moga terus dikurnia nikmat sabar itu. sabar hingga ke syurga.

#dearheartstopabusingyourself