Thursday, April 23, 2009

the diary of a wirawati

I was doing a sort of so-called spring cleaning where I found a book that looked pretty familiar. I knew it was mine but didn’t remember exactly what I wrote in it. As I started to read the very first page, I suddenly smiled and my mind sort of rewinded back the memories like a tape cassette. Well it was a diary that I recorded during my time at the National Service Kem PLKN Similajau.Beware what you’re about to read is a diary of a girl throwing her thoughts and not meant to hurt any parties. All written are based on a true experience except a little correction due to some grammar mistakes. Enjoy~

Hemingway once said life breaks us apart but the fallen bits tend to make us grow stronger and more willing to face the and downs in life are a norm and we are the one that will determine what we’ll be. The past few months had really changed and differ me being a new person Duh...those kinds of feels weird and innocent and that it’s totally not me!!!Well as a starting, my new year began at a whole new world [sounds familiar] I mean I was in a totally different place with different people, I was at Borneo island,Sarawak.well how on earth did I end up there?

The journey begins here at
Kem plkn similajau
Jalan tanjung kidurong
97000 bintulu, Sarawak
Bumi kenyalang

Satu hasrat
Satu semangat
Satu tekad.

Ns! gathering at the stadium shah alam with my mum and dad along with Ahmad.boy were we early. And early as in the gates weren’t even opened yet!!!Just sitting at the stadium on the tar road wasn’t really what I pictured as an ideal sleeping place but looking at the time that was around 3 o’clock and my eyes were really dozy I ended up sleeping beside my mum. I wasn’t excited at all knowing that I would just be off to Sarawak. Finally after sleeping and waking up again and some snapping pictures,alas!they finally called us, with the ns theme song on air that I suppose was to ignite our spirit we were gathered for a roll call. While waiting unsurprisingly I was eyeing some dudes.huh! Typical me. And of course my eye caught one yet I know I shouldn’t be having this yuckiest behaviour. Forget it! We then took the bus to KLIA and were stuck there for like forever. In addition, there were some flight delay so we had to wait for our turn to board the plane.alhamdulilah!why because I made some friends and with god’s power i met up with my old friend that i hadn’t met since standard six!could you imagine meeting up with an old friend that you haven’t met for the past six years .Siti noor syakira md isa.well, with her I made some friends with hazira and Diana which we sort of like formed a gang but the bond between us was pretty strong.cayalah!Well as the saying goes ‘berkawan biar seribu bermusuh jangan sekali’and not to forget my centre of attention ,mar fresh and white.(a little round of applause would be great)Well, until then i didn’t know what to do while waiting to departure to kuching.just wait and see...mind you why kuching huh?well I don’t know why but from KLIA we were suppose to transit at kuching then to bintulu so it would and should be a really long and exhausting journey for us. tick... tock... tick... tock... the time was passing by as fast as lightning yet we were depressed because we were still stuck here not to mention tired,nauseous,sleepy and even though it hasn’t been an easy journey ,the funny thing was we still haven’t reach the ns campsite.hahaha(get lost).
Being far from ummi and abah, dear adik-adik, ifah, una maryam and Ahmad isn’t easy .Not at all, I just hope I turn into a new leaf. More pious, humble, quieter and I really need to work it out fast. Pin-drop silence. It’s getting boring now, despite the delayed flights the only thing making me happy is mingling with other races. Hope it works and sparks many new relationships. Especially with Mr. Fresh and white.
Now we’re getting ready in the aeroplane to while waiting for the lovely stewardess and charming steward check that everything was okay. I just couldn’t sit still and reached out my hand to read ‘Going Places’. I reached Kuching around 1.30 p.m.Ate a magnificent lunch and had fun in the Malaysian Hospitality plane (MH).
Our transit was at Kuching so we rested at the Kuching airport. I’m dead boring (you could count how many trillion times I mentioned how bored I was).Alhamdulillah I finished praying jamak taqdim.Well I was in a group of four. We were a foursome, me, shak, zira, yana.We giggle together and gossip (typical girls) but it was really fun to have companies like them. There were times when they LOL and I quite disagreed fearing it would disturb others. But who cares? Now having to say that I’ve actually landed in Sarawak I must say the environment here is freezing its lucky enough we haven’t transformed into icebergs!!
We then boarded another plane to Bintulu using MAS wings and around 6.30 we reached here, where we also were given a permit to ensure we could stay there longer.(Despite the long journey, it really didn’t become an enjoyable journey and also made me not eager to write in it.)
Well after registering and knowing that I’m placed in company DELTA I really was impatient to reach my dormitory-BP 9 and just really couldn’t wait to doze off. Not to forget I made more friends –Isen, Jen, Serina, Joyn, Menz, Ummi, and GG.

Waking up pretty late and streaming with tears because of a so-late Subuh.Pissed off like hell.Today, I collected our attire and it was too much that I couldn’t believe my eyes. The wardrobe given was just enough for the attires given by them, excluding my own clothes. Whoa...
Pakaian A-Physical Training
Pakaian B-Class Attire
Pakaian C-Half Celoreng
Pakaian D-Full Celoreng
Well something shocked me too since I never knew before that boys had to shave hairs. Pity them, I wonder don’t they mind???
That night we were given a little briefing and we were introduced to the orang-orang kuat in the camp.
Encik Mazlan-Ketua Komanden Kem Similajau Sarawak
Kapten Khadri-Timbalan Ketua Komanden
Encik Jeffrey Din-Ketua Disiplin Kem Similajau
Ustaz Mohd Nazarey-Ketua Unit Rohani Kem Similajau
Encik Mahali-Ketua Jurulatih(KJ)
Cik Mariam Ida-Ketua Pembinaan diri
Finish with all the introductions we had supper(mcm kat sekolah je Ni)and then we went back to our dorms.zzz....

Hello upper eastside!
Looks like someone is looking for a friend and
It looks like that person is stuck on a major crush that is burning up
But what will continue to happen
We’ll just wait and see
You know you love me
xoxo gossip girl
cewah buat opening gossip girl pulak.
Anyway, I’m sitting in my class PK1 and doing Module 1 SAYA for Pembinaan character. Frankly speaking ,classmate stinks, don’t understand a word mcm a chicken and a duck talking.Dont understand.
Ok regarding this class, frankly speaking I didn’t elaborate more about this module 1 later in my diary due to one reason, we were appointed to do journals so I expressed all my thoughts in that journal and none were left to be written in my diary, yet I will tell you a little of what happened during this one week.
SAYA-we discovered that our brains were alert to 3 major things, it loves to begin in the middle, loves visualizations, love colours. Then we also learned that nothing is impossible and we had to say BOLEH no matter what. We also learn a new word GERAMJI which means any negative attitude, such as frustrated,angry,give up ,sad and the list continues. I was in a group named RENTAP-agi idup agi ngelaban.and as mentioned earlier how the classmate stinks, well slowly ii ked them so much that I really must say,tak kenal maka tak cinta old saying realy works out. my group consists of-gloria,endu,amy,low,ah ee,letchumanan,anbarasan,zhi wen and ajiep.with our two coolios cikgu Lawrence and cikgu Norma. Guys you’re the best.

It’s the final countdown
During the day, did a bleep test level 2..3(worst in the company I guess)
Just waiting for a happy new year with Ummi,GG,Wahida and Rose.

We had a marching brief by the KJ and he said there were 4 objectives
1-bermegah dengan tatasusila dengan taat setia
2-berkerjasama dalam kumpulan
3-menerima arahan sebagai satu kumpulan

Started the day with usual schedule, morning roll call, marching and senam aerobic.

We had a KKJ(kontrak kita janji) had to do things like,objectives,mission,the group name and a lot of other boring stuffs.

Were given hand phone and immediately had a call from Ummi and family,felt on top of the stars!!

Miss ummi and abah damn much.Pembentangan KKJ
Alpha-Nation Genesis
Bravo-Rosli Dhobi
Well that night there was a tazkirah in the musolla about
We need to be aware and understand each of he five pillars of Islam
There is no god but Allah and Prophet Muhammad is his messenger
Solah fives times a day
Fasting during the month of Ramadhan

OMG.Its been nearly a week I haven’t polished my writing skills. due to the hectic days I'm having here and there is no other reasonable reason why I didn’t have time. Just hope I can bear with it here and theirs one thing I’ve realised being here,IMAN has to be taken care because majority here are non-Muslims compared to the minor who are Muslims.

Raptai for lots of things like perbarisan commandant and there’s going to be a visit by dato’ Dr Tiki Lafe.

It’s kind of exciting combined with a feel of exaggerating being here within a month. It’s true what you say about people, the more you mingle you’ll experience a journey of all kind of people and not all are as kind as you think.well,Dato’ Dr Tiki Lafe came and we were on our best behaviour. Trying to be as good as angels. Well here, there were a lot of inputs he gave, such as the main reason why the country youths to enter PLKN-melatih menyedia pelatih untuk bersedia berkhidmat untuk Negara. He also added that the existence of Malaysia was due to perpaduan(unity) so as the world of tomorrow it is our job to ensure the stability of our country. well I don’t know to others but it only thumped me something, I suddenly realize what a big responsibility we were all carrying, could we really shape a good future??

Click! Snap!
Guess what? It was a photography session and we were the pictures were taken according to our company and class. it was fun.

Entered class now module 1 was done(and to think I didn’t write it in my diary, Apologies!!)
Now module 2 was about KITA and with the absence of cikgu Lawrence and the replacement by cikgu kiran,everything was just not right. again I slowly reminded tak kenal maka tak cinta.we formed a new group called LIC Lawrence in da club which consists of mumtaz,sakinah,janet(my buddy),reza,asip(boy),anbarasan,ridhuan,poh.well the main thing was we earned about others and also we learned how to juggle!!

Class as usual and we learned the topic jujur and kepercayaan.There was once we had to just go to anyone and say I trust you or I don’t trust you. I was really devastated when azie came u to me and said she didn’t trust me, Why? Because we were in the same flight so I expected the bond we made was strong enough, but I don’t think so. so now I’m in the mode I-hope-we-don’t-meet-each-other-often. Well the big events now were the perlantikan of 7 ring holders in each company.

SUO-senior under officers
JUO-junior under officers

Well for delta the ring holders were, zombie(nazrin),Albert, Indian guy,jay,wahida,Cynthia,malati
Penghulu was-saddam(alpha)
Penghuluwati was-siong(delta)
Besides that, we also played a game called Alien Delight where we had to get pas an obstacle that consists of ropes and cannot touch it. team work was definitely needed.

These were the saddest moments of my life.Eventhouh I’ve been here for not even a month, yet to know that I had to get back home due to an offer to pursue in medicine wasn’t enough to cover the frustration. I had to admit,eventhough I used to really hate this place yet I really felt attached to my friends,cikgu-cikgu especially cikgu hapsah and cikgu nolee.words can’t describe my emotions I’ll just insert farewell pictures. It was sad. I’ll miss you all. Till I see you all again.
BP9 coolios~
Alyssa lo li lin
Chua hooi hien(jing li)
Jenny anak basik
Rosyati ngang
Pang pin jie
Nor Nabila safari(GG)
Ummi shazriena azhari
Cyrine anak Dennis urie
Tan jun yi(June)
Helen bandie anak lagat
Agnes voon pick seang
Farah wahida
Amy ting mong ling

Saturday, April 11, 2009

feeding the soul

[part 1]
Today,around lunch hour,Nanie came and we chatted.I was totally like a cow jumping over the moon(if that is rasional though)to have her around.But,in our long conversation there was a small issue that touched me deeply.Here's how it sounds roughly,

me : suka tak dengar lagu ni?(while pressing the play button for the song Taylor Swift-Love Story)
nanie :hmmm(politely shaking her heads)
me :oooo.hmm.jap I mean ko tak layan lagu-lagu cenggini?
nanie :hmmm(again shaking her heads)
me :takkan kat smss tak dgar lagu2 cenggini?
nanie :dengar tu dengar jelah but tak pernah terlintas nak suka lagu cenggini(now giggling seeing my face)

that was when I was like struck by a thunderstorm.could I be like her?would I be able to?what with my obsessiveness towards akademi fantasia(actually minat akim and aishah je).how could I resist songs from like kate perry,taylor swift,jason mraz or even siti nurhaliza(sheesh!)and also not to forget soundtracks from my all-time favorite korean drama-Boys Over Flowers and suddenly transforming to Sami Yahya,Soldiers of Allah,Yusuf Islam and the list actually goes on.Ataupun easily just forget music or entertainment.Huh!!!could I?After all,hiburan melalaikan.Thats why when I go down the memory lane,when I was still a scool student at Scipp,we were feeding our soul with such amazing things,reading the Al-Ma'thurat,reciting the Holy Quran-surah Yaasin(every thursday night)and surah Al-Mulk(everyday before tucked in bed).why has my daily routine suddenly stopped when i'm back home?Not to forget solat hajat,solat taubah,solat tahajjud or even solat witir...sekali tak sekala je buat,walhal at school macam part of us dah.tu yang we have to remind ourselves to remember Allah anytime ,anywhere in what so ever situation faced.
thanks to nanie I'll have something now to bear in mind.
[part 2]
I was resting on the cosy sofa in the living room when I suddenly recieved an SMS from my dear friend Isen(shes from Limbang Sarawak and a friend of mine during my PLKn days)
isen : apa yang terkandung dalam ayat kursi?
Briefly, shes a very great friend and she isn't muslim.Yet shes really keen in Islam and lets just pray that she'll get taufik hidayah from the Al-Mighty.
Now,what got me startled was how gelabah I was to reply the message I mean.Thoughts like,how am I suppose to put it in words?will I give the correct and precise answer?because at that time I knew that we recite the ayatul Kursi for protection from Allah and to keep us away from evil syaitan.But is that all,sure ayatul Kursi has 1001 benefits.
Thats when an email from Ummi really touched me and made me think back how cetek my knowledge was regarding the ayatul kursi(as for it is the issue I'm trying to bring out here).
I'm a muslim and I'm suppose to know about this,so if cases like this happens I can give arguements that are appropriate to them.
Ya Allah
Forgive me for my weaknesses
Please give guidance
and Hidayah
so that
I'm always on the right path
to be in jannah
to be the best khalifatullah
well,as a muslim I'm so keen in sharing the email my Ummi sent.
The Hikmah of Ayatul Kursi

In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful.
Allah! There is no God but He,
the Living, the Self-subsisting, the Eternal.
No slumber can seize Him, nor sleep.
All things in heaven and earth are His.
Who could intercede in His presence without His permission?
He knows what appears in front of and behind His creatures.
Nor can they encompass any knowledge of Him except what he wills.
His throne extends over the heavens and the earth,
and He feels no fatigue in guarding and preserving them,
for He is the Highest and Most Exalted.
lets move on to several hadith ,
1.Rasool Allah peace be upon him said, "Whoever recites Aayatul Kursi after every Fard (Fard Salat). Only death is keeping him/her from entering Jannah. (As soon as he/she dies, will enter Jannah)(Nisa'i, Ibne Habban, Ibnelsani A'n Abi Amatah Albahili Radiallah Anhu)
2.It's in another Hadis that Reciting Ayatul Kursi after one Fard (Fard Salat) will stay in Allah's protection until the next Salat.(Tibrani Fil Kabeer, A'n Alhasan Bin Ali Radiallah Anhu)
3.Imam Bihaqi States that the one who recites Ayatul Kursi before falling asleep, Allah Tala gives protection to his/her home and his/her Family.(Marqat Sharah Mishkaat, Mulla Ali Qaderi, vol. 2 pp. 583)
4.It's in another Hadis Jinns and Shaitans do not come close to the house in which Ayatul Kursi is recited. (Tirmizi Altargheeb Wal Tarheeb Lilmanzari vol.2 pp.631)
5.Hadrat A'isha Radiallah Anha states that a person arrived in the court of Nabi kareem Sallal Laaho Alaihi Wasallam and complained that there is no Barkat (Blessings) in anything in his home. Rasool Allah peace be upon him said, "You do not recite Ayatul Kursi, whichever Food and Curry you will recite Ayatul Kursi on, Allah Tala will give Blessings on that Food and Curry. (Tafseer Dar Manshoor vol. 1 pp. 323)
now the fadhilat-fadhilat of ayatul kursi
1.This ayat was revealed after Hijrah. During its revealation it was accompanied by thousands of angels because of its greatness and glory.
2.Syaitan and iblis became worried because there is an obstacle in their quest to mislead mankind. Rasulullah s.a.w . immediately ordered Zaid b.Tsabit to write it down and spread the message.
3.Whoever recites ayat Kursi with full concentration daily after fardhu prayers, every morning and evening before exiting or entering the house or before on a journey, InsyaAllah will be protected from the temptation of syaitan, evil people, wild and dangerous animals, even our family, children and property will be save from harm by Allah s.w.t. According to the book "Asraatul Mufidah".
4.Whoever practices by reciting it 18 times everyday, will be granted sustenance, gain honour and save from all calamities with Allah's will.
5.Syeikh Abu Abbas explained that the person who recites it 50 times and breathes it onto rainwater and drinking it InyaAllah will have be blessed with an intelligent mind and the ease of absorbing knowledge.
6.For our practice...the Fadhillat ayat Al-Kursi according to the Hadiths, Rasullullah s.a.wmentioned "Whoever returns home and recites ayat Kursi, Allah will remove poverty from their eyesight".
7.Rasullullah s.a.w. also added, " For my followers who recite ayat Kursi 12 times on a Friday morning, and then takes wudhu and prays 2 rakaat, Allah will protect him from the evil of the syaitan and major evildoers." Those who recites ayat Kursi many times will be loved and protected by Allah just like how He protected Prophet Muhammad s.a.w.
8.With Allah's will those who continually recites ayat Kursi will be protected against crime and burglary at their home.
9.When consistently recited during travelling it will also keep them save from harm. When recited with full concentration, Insya Allah it will cause the syaitan and jin to burn.
10.When you move to new home, recite it a 100 times in the first night, InsyaAllah the whole family will be protected from spiritual and physical harm.
11.Whoever recites ayat Kursi before lying on the bed to sleep, Allah will assign 2 angels to protect him or her till the Subuh period. Allah will also protect their home and all the homes around their neighbourhood.
12.Whoever recites ayat Kursi after Fardhu prayers, Allah will provide them the satisfactionof those who follows the truth, and the good deeds of the prophets will be given to them.
13.Whoever recites ayat Kursi before leaving the house, Allah will appoint 70,000angels to them. The angels will pray for forgiveness and dua for them.
14.Whoever recites ayat Kursi after Fardhu prayers, Allah azza wajallah will manage the retrieval of their soul the same as those who jihad in the name of Allah and died a shahid.
15.Whoever recites ayat al-Kursi in times of difficulty, Allah will provide help for them. From Abdullah bin Amr r.a.
So Guys,what do you think?I think we suppose to get started already.
Lets start feeding our soul.Praticing ayatul Kursi should be a nice start.
its not much,its not a masterpiece,but its sincerely from me...

Thursday, April 9, 2009


I still remember my pal Suhana a.k.a Geniu5 president stressing me and farah in doing a slide show.well yeah i knew she hit the nails and we didn’t had the desire to deny,yet could you imagine that we were given the responsibility to do something that was beyond our priority (trials) which was within two weeks time.Well,we faced hardships but we manged to finish may be just a memory to others,but its a masterpiece for me that is.credits for :
aqeelah++being me
munira++Ulead thingy
ezza++being clumsy loyal
suhana++giving us the opportunity to do this piece of work
oh yeah and cikgu zamri+cikgu wan shukri
and to all Geniu5es

its not much,its not a masterpiece,but its sincerely from me...

aspiration and determination

to be a doctor isn't easy
i know that
but then again to have an aspiration as a doctor
you have to urge a certain determination in order to reach to the peak of success
by right that is being a successful doctor
to me,an incident that occurred to me and my family
really made me set my mind in determining my goal
the incident was
me and my whole family were all admitted in hospitals due to a very small creature
none other than
mrs mosquito

well it happened ages ago during December 2008,and the above picture was a picture of me on an IV drip.Only Allah knew how painful for me recieving the drips but I mustn't forget to say thanks to the nurses who patiently took good care of me

+kak nawwar,kak masitah++

As we know dengue is caused by aedes mosquito its a viral infection and there is no spesific cure to it theres only medications that are given to alleviate the signs and symptoms and I hope one dayI am going to be among the researches and doctors to find the cure to dengue

May Allah grant my wish


for those who want to know more regarding dengue fever

well,here is a link to a dengue alert article

its not much,its not a masterpiece,but its sincerely from me...

self realization

i'm a nobody
remind me again why i'm here
i always think to myself
after reading bean's post the other day
it kind of gave me a minit or two
to think life is not only about living
finding the eternal happiness is important
The concept of happiness in Islam is expressed in the Qur’ân and Sunnah in a number of different ways. First, we find the Qur’ân discussing the “good life”. Allah says: “Whosoever does right, whether male or female, and is a believer, we shall make them live a good life, and We shall pay them a recompense in proportion to the best of what they used to do.” [Sûrah al-Nahl: 97]
think about it
have we found our happiness?
its not much,its not a masterpiece,its sincerely from me...

Thursday, April 2, 2009

a refreshing beginning

My new beginning started when I was asked to join the National Service at Kem Similajau Bintulu Sarawak.I wasn't happy nor sad I chose to follow the rhythm,so in the end,Alhamdulillah I did eventually reached borneo island on 27 December 2008.Briefly I was placed in Delta Company and did the daily routines ala-ala tentera gitu but yet I'm going to tell the details later on.Don't worry.But I wasn't long here as was offered a place in MSU(Management and Science University) and was suppose to register on 19th January.So then again bye-bye Sarawak,here I come Shah Alam and tadaaa!! I was on my way home.Well,I registered and was already given assignments to complete(imagine facing that on your first day of college,well as Hlovate's saying live hell or live well I choose)and I did choose to just bear with it when suddenly I got to know that the programme offered wasn't recognised my MARA .Oh dear!!Can you believe that and to say I just started the whole thing, but with God's help and my parents determination I gave up MSU.So,wait I need to catch my breath.There's so much going on here.Phew....The next day I opened a new book again being an assistant teacher of IISSA(Integrated Islamic School Shah Alam),it ain't easy but you gotta live no matter what.But the funny thing is when you work in a kids surrounding you actually get to expose the kid in you.No matter how egois a person is,we all have what we call the 'kid' inside us.Thanks to class 1 Ar-razi for accepting me the way I am.Now the three different phase I just faced is really an experience that really refreshes my beginning for the year 2009.So May Allah Bless me and guide me towards the right path.Till then.adios~

1st phase

2nd phase

3rd phase

4th phase

insyaAllah in Royal College of Surgeons!!

its not much,its not a masterpiece,but its sincerely from me...