Saturday, May 28, 2011

| tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow

In the name of Allah the most gracious the most merciful.


For the past few days,being at home was a blessing.Not hectic enough  just peaceful to inhale and exhale air,to carry on living with the pleasure of iman and islam.To be grateful enough to actually see my ummi and abah's glowing faces,to listen and joke around with ifah and maryam who are more opened up about their personal thoughts and to play along with ahmad's mischief.

But its not everyday you get to be in this pleasure.

Within this month,too much have happened to me and how I wish I could pour it all out here.but alas,I can't.I don't know how too.

I know I worry a lot,I worry about what's happening tomorrow,how I am able to cope with tomorrow,will I be strong enough to handle tomorrow.being far from my cliques,muharikah in particular is a very challenging decision.

will I still be breathing and talking for the sake of Allah?
will I still be laughing and smiling and chanting gratefulness for Allah's creation?
will I still be able to recite the love letters from the AlMighty?
will I still be alive or still as can be ready to be prayed by others?

How will I know which one will happen?

When tomorrow comes.

I'm crying and crying until my head aches and I feel like knocking my head to the wall.Allah's with you,what are you so sad about!


Saidina Ali one said :

I never worry about what's in it for me tomorrow whether I'll be happy or sad,because I don't know which one is better for me.

I want to smile,I want to laugh,I want to make others smile when spreading the words of Islam,InsyaAllah.

Friday, May 27, 2011

| to the future hradec kralove students.

to my dear friends,

      May Allah be with you guys tomorrow,the day after tomorrow and so on,and for the interviews and entrance examinations,do the best and keep smiling :)

O' Allah, please put light into my heart. Turn my hearing into light. Let there be light in front of me, above, and below me. O' Allah, grant me light. [Source: Muslim] 

                            from your faraway friend :)

| pondering back

Alhamdulillah,I am currently at home,and the happiness is different.Way different than before,it's nearly the end of Alevels for me InshaAllah,a new beginning for Ifah and her foundation,Una is struggling on her SPM,Maryam is trying to make peace with UPSR and Ahmad is being his own sweet Ahmad.And my ummi and abah,alhamdulillah as great as ever.

Now,after the incident,the mara-stop-sending-students-to-India incident,I really didn't now where to go.To be on the brighter side,I wasn't worried nor was I busying myself filling up forms of applications to any country,all I could say was,'just finish this bloody exam and I'm over it'.The choices were either Republic Czech,Indonesia and RCMP-India.

I didn't take too long to reject the Czech application and Indonesia application,due to certain reasons and I ended up having no choice but he one and only RCMP-India.So that was settled.

But sooner or later,the issue came back,this time my mum had some other thing in her mind,Egypt.SubhanaAllah,I never pictured myself at all to be in the midst of the pyramid country,but my mum told me whether I was interested or not,and surprisingly,my heart did some jolts and i was kind of happy hearing about it.Now on top of all these,albeit what people said,I did continuous istikharah.because its true,who is the best planner than the One who planned it,Allah.

Thinking of it now,we never know what will happen to us in just a split second.One minute you were laughing your way to India,the next thing you know,you're crying all your way back to Malaysia.

It kept me thinking ever since about the whole matter,holistically.How tarbiyyah changed our lives and behaviours,how tarbiyyah gathered us to become muharikah's and get on going with dakwah all for the sake of Allah and the next thing you know,Allah deviated us just to see whether we are in this game sincerely and purely because of Him or because 
other things.Isn't Allah so sweet?

He just wanted us to live merely because of Him and only Him,AllahuAkbar.

So another thing popped into my mind,medicine.Albeit all these happening around me,once in a while,my hearts whispers to me take something else.Not medicine.And to be honest I've been trying to reconsider this whole thing.Should I pursue medicine? should I be a doctor? and what I got was questions.In the first place,did I take it to please Allah?Am I studying because of Allah?

dush dish dush

Why am I questioning and hesitating what I did in the first place?After all,I knew usrah through the pathway to take up medicine,so what is there to regret.The journey might be tough,the journey might be a rocky journey,but that doesn't matter,never fear,Allah's here!

Besides,according to Prof Muhaya in one of her books,she mentioned that according to prophet Muhammad (pbuh) there are five things that are very much encouraged to be performed.One of them is relieving the suffering of others.

And believe it or not,as a da'ie doctor,we not only relieve physical pain,we are also ensuring that the inner side of our body,emotionally and spiritually are also taken care of.MashaAllah,what more can this be taken care of but a doctor.A holistic approach thats what we want.

Thus all in all,be it Republic Czech,Indonesia,India,local or even Egypt,any where can do.It is not a big deal.Lets together bear in mind,the reason we are anywhere is for the sake of Allah,so no matter where he puts us to,that is the best for us,InsyaAllah

Then there are among men such as say, "We believe in Allah.; but when they suffer affliction in (the cause of) Allah, they treat men's oppression as if it were the Wrath of Allah. And if help comes (to thee) from thy Lord, they are sure to say, "We have (always) been with you!" Does not Allah know best all that is in the hearts of all creation?

al ankabut:10


Thursday, May 19, 2011

| decisions are meant to be decided

I was in the examination hall,
freezing to death below that 20degrees celsius air
as soon as i came out of the examination hall,
my body relaxed and at last,I could put on a smile,alhamdulillah.

 The first thing coming across my mind was,I can't stand uber coldness!
and on the bright side,
Malaysia is not cold.
Suddenly RCMP is not a bad choice to start off with after all. :) 

But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not .(al baqarah : 216)

Friday, May 6, 2011

| circle of love

the world is unfair or am I seeking excuses?sadly,I am blaming all the things that I grasp and let it fade in thin air.Its so hard to be ungrateful yet its so easy to be unsatisfied.

I want to change.I want to turn over a new leaf.But alas,I'm feared of my own self.Imagine living in your own fear?!

Since i was in high school,I was never put among the top scorers.Never.Maybe the laziness and playful acts lead to my worse results.But Alhamdulillah,I knew,with Allah's power,He saved the Day.He loved me in His own way,SubhanaAllah!

And now,here in college,the same thing is happening,only I've never been pressured this much before.I think my tank of iman is running out of fuel yet I'm not even putting enough endevour to fill it up.

Until just now,the happy circle with my usrah kids,exponentially fed the soul.everyone was in tears after one after the other start telling stories of what had happened to them during that week,subhanaAllah.

how peoples eyes are wide open just to find faults in us.
how people out there are so curious with what we are doing.
how people wanted to be nice and return to their fitrah,but too indulged in the dunya full of lies and false hopes.

but its ok sisters,Allah is always with us no matter what.

how kak ain told me and my sisters,how our varied behaviour doesn't trouble her one bit.
and i think its time for me to say to you guys,that all of you are jus like a box of chocolates with different tastes,mint,dark chocolate,white chocolate and etc,
all in all,you're all so SWEET.

(they are not chocolates but they're sweet pancakes)

fatin,lily,iqa,ainin,fiqah,adie,hanan and haz

our heart knots will be tied forever insyaAllah.