amalgamation of thoughts

The clock is nearly striking midnight, and this reminds me of one saying, The man who decided to change on the twelfth, died on the eleventh. SubhanaAllah. Time. Al Asr. Demi masa. Indeed, time is the the most obnoxious silent killer than cancer. You cant sense when its getting too late, because you just never know when death might be inviting you. Well back to the story, I'm almost done, here in Jordan, we feel gloomy, but thats what we think. Since we are leaving the people here, the food and the places. No more, laughters of Husna Ishkandar, coolness of Una, sly ammu khalid, and tonnes of akhawats who are sweethearts and smiling throughout the brief taaruf. Its gonna be a while since, I'll be returning to these places biiznillah, Petra, Jerash, Maqamat, Ajloun, Balad Amman and many more, is a beautiful gift from Allah, to me. And delicious food, such as maklubat, mansaf with laban either the classic laban or the modernized laban. Series of stories sha...

Bismillah, Its nearly midnight here in Urdun. Alhandulillah, we managed to visit akhawat's open house near masjid thal's area and near arabella. Their laughters, smiles, and hugs will really be some meaningful souvenirs that will be brought back home. As normal human beings, we need to be reminded, over and over again. Thats what exactly happened today, I was reminded for His Greatness and His Mercy. Indeed I am aware but I tend to forget. So when it came from an akhawats mouth, it gave a different impact. Sungguh aku mahu Allah memelukku. Memujukku dan menghalau kerisauan yang sering singgah di hati kecil ini. Aku merinduiMu Ya Rabb!

Bismillah Salam peeps ;) I almost forgot, Eid mubarak people and like the arabs say, kullu sanah wa entum tayyib. Hari ni hari raya la :p Indeed it is, and alhmadulillah, the atmosphere is slightly different here in Syams. Therr is something here, and I know I am in need of it. From batra' until syarie hussani. From Amman to Aqabah to Irbid. Now, one of the essential part in Tarbiyyah, is also jaulah. As I was about, to feel a slight of frustation regarding not able to go to nearly all the places here, I really did some spanking regarding my nafs. Tajdid niat. Keep on track, Every breath and inhalation of air, because of Allah. Astaghfirullah. SubhanaAllah wal hamdulillah walailahaillallah.

When the guys run like the wind and the ladies walk lazily. It stirs me. I feel like being slept and buried to the ground. I've always heard, dakwah doesnt need us, we need it.Allah doesn't need us, He could do completely fine without us, but we need Allah.We need Him very much. When I ponder back my ' business' with Allah, my face gets flushed and my ears go hot, I'll tend to stare at the ground and can't seem to bear to look whats in front of me. SubhanaAllah, This is pure embarassing. I claim, that I want to settle down in Jannah, I want to meet al-habib, want to.met al-khaliq. But I keep on sinning, and the jahiliyyah is lingering harder on me.Grasping strong not wanting to let go. Yet others, seem to be enlightened bu Allah's Deen and seem be soaring in the sky, aiming for paradise. Astaghfirullah, I have been through so much things yet I have been ungrateful endlessly. Like I mentioned earlier, I am so thrilled to see many are sta...

When you are nearly in the verge of death, millions of things will come across your mind. Your mum and dad, Your last words, Your last meal, Your last deeds. Death always knocks on our door, its either we greet it as the guest of honour, or we keep denying and refusing to care of him. Oh Allah, if my next step is my last step, may it be because of you.

If blogs could be written by heart talks, instead of manually typing and stuff, then I guess, I'll be posting each post frequently. But alas, even though, technology is evolving, the world is becoming a borderless world, yet, Allah still puts a limitation to all. Allah still preserves some very important features a s a human being that can't be replaced by gadgets nor technos. Thus, intuitions or heart talks, will always remain between Allah and you, even your mum doesnt know what is in your heart. Thus, thats why Allah is your true lover. Even a small whine or a sigh of exhaustion, He knows. Even a small flinch of crushes or a tiny feeling of brag, He knows. Tell me what Allah doesn't know? None. Because He knows all. Well , He did create us, why wouldn't He know about us then. I express through words better. After reeditting and rewriting things that could be publicised, only wanting to ensure that the post are also reminders for me. Despite that not...

"I wrestled with my soul as with a foe, It bidding me to err, I saying no; We were ancient enemies at large. I put on patience, to withstand its charge. ” Imam Al-Ghazali Patient honey. Real patient. I realized, I'm such an impatient person. Whenever my desires are denied, I get real mad, I nearly turn into The Hulk. Dalam al-quran, Allah pujuk kita, suruh bersabar. Dalam usrah, murabbi pesan, bersabar dengan ujian. Dalam daurah, penyampai share banyak-banyak pasal kesabaran. We always get reminders about being patient. Yet, to what extent is our patience? Whenever we come across problems, its our iman against ujian. *sigh* Sabar.

After all these while, I have been wanting it so much, thus, He granted my wishes. That tiny, unimportant but one of the most desired wish. Oh Allah, Thank you,

"Just sit down and relax. Take a minute to realize, after all. We are a human.  We make mistakes. And we are not perfect.  We are only,  a human ." -J.K Rowling Sometimes, in life, we are too hard on ourselves. We tend to blame every wrong things happening to us, and we grumble every second. Sometimes, what we encounter is not our cup of tea, thus we tend to spit it out.  Sometimes, human beings themselves don't understand them, nor others and thats where the root of the problems start. I wanted to go somewhere, yet she didn't allow me. I wonder, whether by still going for it is the right decision, but my heart seems to obey its owner. Please don't be mad nor hate me. Please don't. I think I want some time alone with Him, to discuss with Him, and to ask for His solutions, because again, He is the best Planner. Please Ya Rabb, Help me, your slave.

I spent the whole day with Eka, an adorable ukhti that I really admire for her determination, coolness and punctuality, subhanAllah are blend all together perfectly. And we talked about Zikr Fatimah, SubhanaAllah, Alhamdulillah, Allahuakbar. Thirty three times after prayers. Its called Zikr Fatimah, because according to the seerah, Fatimah was exhausted throughout making the dough bread and thus asked her father for some solutions, her father, who was Rasulullah(pbuh)  gave her an advice, which was reciting this zikr as to help her through her problems. Well thats the story of its origin, today, we were returning home after finishing from some matters done in Mena Tours and 'Asar prayer in Jamek Ibrahim, we conversed, we talked about a lot, and suddenly, we were conversing about Zikr Fatimah. Okay, there was something regarding this zikr,what touched me was the arrangement of the zikr itself, First, Rasullulah, the al habib, told us to recite, SubhanaAllah which me...

Its been a while since I felt the night breeze of Alexandria City. Its good to feel and smell the not so fresh air with the moderate humidity. Unusually, tonight was extraordinarily nosier and people seem to be flooding almost in every places. But as long as the hearts was filled with love, then everything was okay regardless how bad they seem to be. I was with Nini, my so called holiday-mate and a dear ukhti and I was also with me dear little ukhti, Ekha. We managed to sow some seeds of love fillah,  and celebrated humbly Nini's birthday. I think I did mention some time ago, how birthdays were very important to me. Birthdays was a must to celebrate, along with a cake and a gift. I think I told Nini this and she just laughed at me. And must I tell you, she has that very hilarious laugh that always made me easy. We had such a brief taaruf, which was during a kenduri kesyukuran held by my friend, Azila back then in KTT, but we managed to keep our friendship on going un...

I stared viciously at my blank post, only a minute ago was I typing ferociously regarding my jaulah to kaherah, and with a blink of an eye, everything was gone. It was too quick, since I cant even remember what I pressed on the keyboard, but every single thing is gone!  this is citadel of salahuddin al ayyubi  the view of Cairo City  inside Masjid Ali Pasha masjid azhar Shocked and exhausted, thus I'm deciding to only post pictures.

In Egypt, us pedestrians unite with the road, we blend with the traffic, because its like we are another type of 'vehicle' over here. That's how cool the traffic here is, honking of horns everywhere definitely causing noise pollution, passing through the floods of fast furious, cars, buses, tramco's let alone trains too. I find myself annoyed at first, and now, fonder of it. They have adjusted the system ever since Dr Morsy took over, they even have speed traps now! I enjoy the heavy, intense, restless ongoing traffics here because this is the life of people here. To survive here, you've got to be in the life of it ;) Fi amanillah people.