amalgamation of thoughts

Muslim's civilisation. Oh Allah, I believe, that all about you and relating with you is al-haq!

The best of you are those who are best to their families, and I am the best of.you to my family Sahih tirmidhi Since thirteen years old, I have already been away from home but the feeling of sakit rumah( baca: homesick) never fades away. Adapting yourself in a situation is important to get on moving with life. Being among them who loves because of Allah is a big deal to nurture love inside us. Thus, to those who will be flying off,up up and away to a faraway land. To any land, God calls upon, then just remember, that by remembering Allah, the heart finds peace. family first, keep you hearts home.

I have safely reached alexandria safe and sound, alhamdulillah. I look to my left, I see Arabs and then I look to my right, again I see Arabs.Even though this certainly feels surreal, yet this is reality. Before I even touched the ground of my home, have I already seen Arabs not queuing and shouting at each other at the passport counter. MashaAllah if only they had the guts to be patient and queue, then all parties would be happy, and things could be processed in a harmonic tone and quicker, wouldn't they? *sighs heavily* But the cliche goes, arabs will remain arabs. Harsh, loud, determined and aggressive. And this reminds me of a tale an akhawat told me regarding arabs that changed my perspective completely towards arabs. Once upon a time, in a not so faraway kingdom, where people were worshipping stones, lata and uzza and many more of its kind, a boy, named Muhammad was chosen to be the messenger at this kingdom. To clean away all the mess of the people, to ch...

I paused and looked at the watch, its now midnight and thus, its 26th of september 2012. And I gasped, *jaw-drop* due to the date. My flight was on the 28th of september morning, and its really the early morning, which was, at 3 am. So I have like less than 48 hours left with my ummi and abah. Homesick, and that sad feeling starting to linger around me. In my family, I am the eldest. The bossiest, the noisiest, the laziest and all those extreme features you could think of but albeit all those, I love my family to the deepest. When my brother did something horrible that made my dad cross, I cried. When my sister called me names and didn't want to befriend with me, I cried. When my sister cried, I cried to sometimes. I just love them,  and knowing that I will be apart for another year, doesn't make me look forward to the long period of it. But then again,the call of dakwah, shows that I am in need of returning to Egypt. I still need to strive the days ...

Ingatlah, ketika kau tidak punya siapa-siapa selain Allah, Allah itu lebih dari cukup ! -taken from the film di bawah lindungan kaabah

I had pinched myself for the umpteenth time to make myself clear that I am not there anymore, I have left the place, which pretty much bookmarked my heart with its name. On the night before we returned home, we sort of like made the last detour around the town of Bandar Seri Begawan, ate ice creams , met up with akhawats , had dinner and certainly enjoyed every minute of it. My jaulah partner, kak mimi said, such a beautiful quote that I myself had the same thing in mind which was,being  such a small country and have people with big hearts , SubhanaAllah. There is too much to pour down here since I landed and arrived safely at home, I would love to write every sharing sessions that we did, every 'ole-ole' from the osem akhawats, every meaningful persinggahan to such beautiful and historical places and the list goes on and on as I can rant on and on. But let me save it for a while, let me recover myself for sometime, preserving this feeling of contented. This feeling of...

I gasped the air due to suffocation. And was okay after taking a deep breath. My jaws dropped.I was not expecting all this. This is awesome. This is surreal. I have never felt contented as this ever before. How many times have I said, Alhamdulillah. Well, Allah never failed to give me nikmat let alone reduce the amount of the nikmat. Alhamdulillah, For all that you have made me pass through, you have made me become, and for what you will plan in future. Alhamdulillah, With love from Borneo.

Never have I dealt with anything more difficult than my own soul, which sometimes help me, and sometimes opposes me imam ghazali  Have I faced many things today? Indeed I have. I faced rejections, failures due to bad planning and lack of organizing spirits, money flowing, exhauster, greedily eating dinner, thinking of the same person of whom i should not. What have I got today. Just being grateful to Allah. When you think that you had plan something with all your might, and it didn't go as you planned, then know and remind yourself that the Al-Mighty has planned something better. Again, thank you ya Rabb <3

Got I message from Elis, saying how she missed me, with a streaming face, and yes, it made me into tears too. I am missing someone too, because all I want is a hug right now, A great big hug!

Dear Lord, I was far busy thinking of what to bring, looking through the internet attractive places, reading reviews of people who've been there, and checking rates of the current currency and the list continues faithfully of things been done, yet I almost forgot the purpose of doing this. So have they not traveled through the earth and have hearts by which to reason and ears by which to hear? For indeed, it is not eyes that are blinded, but blinded are the hearts which are within the breasts. al hajj  : 46 I almost forgot that I have to pack my heart to bring there. *Renewing intentions* Putting both hands on chest and taking deep breaths. Dead nervous actually.

Bismillah Happy. Sad. Excited. Nonchalant. Feelings. They come and go whenever they want, they empower and take control of yourself. And the only way to get back at them, is overpower them with iman. Feelings are creatures that can't be seen but exist, they are a gift from Allah yet only little realises that, only some are grateful for them, and some don't even bother whether they exist or not. Today, I got my feelings to empower me, and it caught me by surprise at how quickly I could switch from annoyed to relax, from anger to calmness, from depressed to joy. And it gave determination in me, that Allah watches us every second without fail. Yes, I repeat, every second without fail. He knows when to give us the feeling that suits us, even if we felt that we had encountered such a horrible experience, but beyond that super duper horrible moment, there is a silver lining behind it. Cheer up, okay! And so the story of my birthday begins. For me, birthdays are b...

Bismillah We were at the airport yesterday, sending off Una to Jordan. And when we wanted to return home, Abah told us to perform asr prayer and off we went. Suddenly, I realised Ahmad was still with headphones and his new ps vista as if he didnt want to let go of it. And so my sister ifah, softly spoke to him saying that he needed to leave both the headphone and ps vista to mum before performing solah. I mean logically, you don't go prying with all those stuff on your body, right?! And he wasn't responding as if he didn't want to move from the place he was standing, as if he didn't care what we said.I got impatient and furious, saying out loud, "suka hati Ahmadla nak jumpa Allah macamana!" My sister ifah, looked at me warningly and told me under her breath, "cakap elok-elok sikit, macamana nak dakwah orang macam tu" and that stabbed and pierced my heart. Astaghfirullah, I thought I was in madrasah tarbiyyah, yet why don't I act...

The month of Syawal is nearly closing its curtains, and so are my holidays. Its ending. And sadness is starting to linger inside me. Sad because of unaccomplished to-do-list in malaysia things, which I wrote back in Egypt. Sad because my weight is increasing tremendously and I can feel the heaviness of myself when I walk, run or even talk, I get tired easily and sad because I have spent my holidays waking up late and nearly sleeping, all the time. Every second. My ummi nags, my abah sighs, my sister scolds me, but I dont seem to care. Its not like I purposely do it, but it just happens. I get sad, repent, and the next day it happens again as if I was not guilty of excessive sleeping. To be honest, sleeping is a very big issue to me, I am a deep sleeper, I have a very hard time waking up by my own and worst, my subuh is always mortgaged just so that I can continue sleeping. Allahuallah. This is embarassing, some might say, this is your issue, your own problem and thus you s...

this time, we met because of Him, dan kerna manisnya ukhwah di atas jalan ini, ukhwah fillah ya ukhti