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I paused and looked at the watch, its now midnight and thus, its 26th of september 2012. And I gasped, *jaw-drop* due to the date. My flight was on the 28th of september morning, and its really the early morning, which was, at 3 am.

So I have like less than 48 hours left with my ummi and abah.

Homesick, and that sad feeling starting to linger around me.

In my family, I am the eldest. The bossiest, the noisiest, the laziest and all those extreme features you could think of but albeit all those, I love my family to the deepest.

When my brother did something horrible that made my dad cross, I cried. When my sister called me names and didn't want to befriend with me, I cried. When my sister cried, I cried to sometimes.

I just love them, 

and knowing that I will be apart for another year, doesn't make me look forward to the long period of it.

But then again,the call of dakwah, shows that I am in need of returning to Egypt. I still need to strive the days to finish up my medical degree. I still need to keep on pushing myself to fight the nafs inside me. I still need to spread the words of islam to people surrounding me.

I always wondered, what was the real source to really get us going in life. Just like how a car needs petrol to move, cats need whiskers to live, fishes need water to survive thus, what do we need to live until the eternal life?

O you who believe, respond to God and the Messenger, with obedience, when He calls you to that which will give you life, in the matter of religion, for it will be the source of everlasting life [for you]; and know that God comes in between a man and his heart, so that he cannot believe or disbelieve except by His will; and that it is to Him that you shall be gathered, and He will requite you for your deeds.

al anfaal-24

Source of everlasting life.

So the source is being obedient, when He calls you to that which will give you life.

Obedient to the Creator, to the Messenger,

thus this will give you everlasting life,

SubhanaAllah.

By simply doing dakwah, Allah gives you a life time. How Merciful of Him to give us such gifts?

And dakwah is the engine of life which means, without no engine, still the car wont move, so even though petrol exists, yet it still needs a medium for it to operate, and thus, for us we need to be obedient and do dakwah for us to live happily ever after in Jannah.

Astaghfirullah, may Allah forgive for any slacking and excuses, I should stop doing that. Im an adult now, already 21, and thus, Im big to make decisions.

I'm leaving home, with unfinished chores, meet ups that have to be postponed, cooking lessons that stays unlearnt and the love that can't be fully spread due to some circumstances.

And thus, I need Allah to help me in completing this next time,

That is, if there is another next time.

Until then,

fi amanillah people :)