We were at the airport yesterday, sending off Una to Jordan. And when we wanted to return home, Abah told us to perform asr prayer and off we went.
Suddenly, I realised Ahmad was still with headphones and his new ps vista as if he didnt want to let go of it. And so my sister ifah, softly spoke to him saying that he needed to leave both the headphone and ps vista to mum before performing solah. I mean logically, you don't go prying with all those stuff on your body, right?!
And he wasn't responding as if he didn't want to move from the place he was standing, as if he didn't care what we said.I got impatient and furious, saying out loud,
"suka hati Ahmadla nak jumpa Allah macamana!"
My sister ifah, looked at me warningly and told me under her breath,
"cakap elok-elok sikit, macamana nak dakwah orang macam tu"
and that stabbed and pierced my heart.
I thought I was in madrasah tarbiyyah, yet why don't I act as one? I cant even speak nicely to my siblings, and sometimes we fight because of my harsh words or bossy acts.
That's one issue, I always get in usrah about how we should show qudwatun hasanah and how to act nicely to people, but practically, its tougher than only knowing it and scribbling it down in my buku usrah!
Another thing was, how I am to indulged with internet that I tend to spend long hours on it which leads me to sleeping late at night and opening the youtube channels watching movies or stories that doesn't increase the iman at all and listening to absurd songs like the oppa gangnam song.
di bawa arus dunia yang membimbangkan.
I remembered an ukhti shared about her own story at home, at that time, she was watching the television,and she had just got back form somewhere and wanted to rest for a while,and she chose to watch the television but he shadn't prayed Zuhr yet, suddenly her brother came to ask her whether she had prayed yet.
Listening to her answer, her brother said,
"Lalai, lalai, kalau boleh biarlah kita punya perangai sama padan dengan tudung yang labuh tu"
Terasa, tertusuk, tergolek dek dihunus tajamnya kata-kata yang benar.
Maybe it was that ukhti's story but it reflected me the most.
Those things that makes us further from Allah, is jahilyyah. Bad things we used to do before we had usrah, things we did before we know good deeds and tarbiyyah is jahiliyyah.
And jahiliyyah is a friend of the devil.
So we try to wash of the stains of jahiliyyah through our repentance, through our sincerity in our ibadah, through our increment in our ibadah.
But why does it come back, even though we had done so many things to get rid of it!
Jahiliyyah is like a boomerang, it returns no matter how far we throw it away, thus we need to build a strong wall of iman and taqwa, so it is as far as possible, away from us,So its not the length of time we had join usrah and tarbiyyah which determines how good we are or how far we had changed, but the sincerity and the determination in grabbing Allah's love and mardatillah which boost you to become a better person.
Don't look down on people but don't go worshipping them, no one is ever perfect but everyone deserves to be treated perfectly nice.
You and I share the strong bond of Aqidah,
so please, correct me if I'm wrong.