amalgamation of thoughts

Saat aku berkeliaran dimuka bumi, aku sentiasa dihampiri makhluk tuhan. Sama ada yang punyai barang yg hendak dijual sehinggalah meminta bantuan kewangan, dan setiap kali itu aku menolak dengan hati yg sangsi dan curiga Sindiket kah mereka? Betul2 susah kah mereka?  Dan macam macam lagi la monolog dalaman. Tapi aku lupa Sebuah kebaikan itu bukan dititip kira dari si penerima tapi sebaliknya sipemberi Buat apa bersangka buruk dengan manusia, saudara kita itu Andai itu memudahkan urusan mereka, bukankah kita tumpang bahagia? Dan kini, aku perhati sudah tiada yg dtg meminta, sudah kurang lubuk pahala yg satu. Adakah sebab aku kikir, tuhan berkira dengan aku? Maafkan aku yaAllah, kerna gagal menjadi wakil titipan rahmat buat manusia.

Pertama  Saya sebenarnya tak tahu macamana nak buat planad  Tak tahu macamana? habis selama ni buat macamana?? Gulp -,- Kedua Kalau awak pergi usrah tapi tak rasa betul-betul dibina, apa yang buat awak bergerak and keep steadfast on this road? AlQuran Ketiga Olafs night, nama program tajmik kitorang, senyum. Jeda. Why's the name so adorable? Some people are just worth melting for. Awwww Keempat Saya baru rasa gementar padahal insiden tu dah lama berlalu? Samalah  >,< Kita banyak sangat ketawa dan terleka; Allah remind terus, Agaknya kalau dia tarik nyawa tadi, apa perkataan terakhir kita ya?

I eventually reached Ipoh last night and after reading kafe biblioholic, i was so excited to reach novel hut and i did! Alhamdulillah, Only little did i know that it was only a small bookshop and it was situated among shop lots so it looked very humble with glorious books in it. I personally do think it was indah khabar dari rupa but who am i to blame, because i was the one putting expectations in the first place.Yet again, the writer described novel hut as such an amazing place and so cosy that i mentioned there were couches for you to sit, read and drift off to another land your personal read will take you too. And basically the reality of the place is, it looks too formal and bold, mph would be more enlightening, the racks have sharp edges, it looks stuffed, the labels are all in arial font or was it time roman. The books are a lot but not as many as i imagined -,-' and thank god it does have good codes so i can basically search through sysytematically , though it doesnt keep re...

There is one thing i want to ask from you; that is to teach me the essence of gratitude, Sure, if you are willing to be just a little patient to learn of it. Again teach me to do that as well; Don't you worry, we'll learn together,  because we both aren't teachers, we are preachers remember. My heart did a somersault and smiled.

If pinocchio was telling lies, his nose would grow and inch long by day, But if i were to lie, what would grow beyond its norm, would be a sin that can weigh out all the good deeds off! If i dont know, then i were to say i dont know, Berkata baik atau diam. Because today i tasted a pinch of death, I start to fear, what will my last words on earth be, Would it be about gossips? Would it be about backbites? Would it be about reckless and meaningless stuffs? Or something that takes me a step closer to remember Him. Allahumma inni nas aluka akhir kalamuna la ilaha illallah!

Because you do not want to be hurt, thus you back off. Hijrah itu perlu untuk permulaan baru. Bismillah,

A senior of mine is going to be wedded and her future zauj only wanted one thing from her, That is to have patience(الصبر) throughout their life together. I think this is so deeply romantic. 

When my new friend came to meet me in town during my birthday. I knew either it will make me towards Allah or go astray. Everything was going fine until i installed social media applications, it was like a stalk feeder, and with a not-so-having-an-iman-yang-kuat inside me, I have certainly fell for those. I fell for a yet a tiny piece of device that is so strongly bonded to the globalised world. Days before, before we have devices that are portable and we can bring here and there and install internet apps here and there to know whats happening to the world, I  used to be on murai or beautifulnara until I came to a sense that these websites feed gossips and some gossips are fitnah, and Allah despises fitnah! So, with a hard time recovering, he let me try to be strong against myself. Ihsan please! Wanting to post something on Instagram or twitter or scrolling through Tumblr or Facebook, Semua tu bersandarkan apa sebenarnya? Gathering haunted likes? Waiting for mesmerising comments? G...

Andai sesebuah perkara dilakukan dengan tidak bersandarkan Allah 'azza wajalla, Jadilah kita manusia yang rugi. RUGI, Enough said,  Because it explains all. [Al-kahf:103] (Katakanlah (wahai Muhammad): "Mahukah Kami khabarkan kepada kamu akan orang-orang yang paling rugi amal-amal perbuatannya?) [Al-kahf:104] ((Iaitu) orang-orang yang telah sia-sia amal usahanya dalam kehidupan dunia ini, sedang mereka menyangka bahawa mereka sentiasa betul dan baik pada apa sahaja yang mereka lakukan".) I was on my writing a short piece and I was nearly finished, where the next thing i knew, the screen turned blank, It was all gone, Sadis :'(

again, sisters love wins all. a true act of love thaws the frozen heart i like how nicely done the movie 'frozen' is, where it actually focuses and portrays mainly sisters' love, and when anna and elsa settled down together eventually in arandelle after all those years apart, i really felt like wanting to go and hug all my sisters and say sorry for all bad stuffs i did and say to them, ;')

i just realised that sheikh mustafa masyhur, shares the same birthday as mine! i guess that adds up on iman-tidak-diwarisi-list, which means though having the same birth date,it doesn't mean you are all equally awesome. But knowing that a great person was borned on the same date as mine, inspires me. he wrote a number of books and one of it was bekalan dalam jalan dakwah, where he humbly mentions, how he hopes the book really becomes a boost for du'at out there to go further and deeper in jalan dakwah! this date, this year, gave a lot of emotional meaning. Happy birthday dear me!

My sister won again in an essay competition! mabrouk alayk ifah! and what topples her win is how she dismisses the prizing ceremony to go with us in a family outing. *tearful* that sacrifice is priceless. that decision is hard to make, but she chose wisely. I look up to her in so many ways that sometimes,I think I overdo the act of love of a big sister to her little sister.in addition, this is because she isn't fond of hugs or kisses that much, she is the quiet type of person, who rarely expresses her inner feelings. Ifah, is such an admirable sister, she always gets done the house chores like bill payments, groceries and etc. She also takes that big sister responsibility since I'm always away home by giving advices here and there to the little ones at school. that explains how close the three of them, ifah, yam and ahmad are! And the most awesome part is, she always puts ummi and abah's decision way beyond her own, and this humble kind of act really fits ...

 because I'm happy,  clap along if you know what happiness is to you, because I'm happy,  clap along if you feel like happiness is the truth,    I have resumed my positive vibe and having the full rights to say that I am so happy, right now, thanks to the Al Mighty, Alhamdulillah. How do I define happy? I can simply put that happy is present tense,thus it shows brief and short emotion and it doesnt last long, but happiness is a long term, and gives a more eternal feeling. So I am trying my best to channel that 'happy' feeling to 'happiness'. And usually happy feeling happens for a reason. indeed it does.

I keep on stumbling upon those who just love to read books. They are enthusiastic about them, they are critical and analatiycal when it comes to discussing a current issue and they really express a positive vibe. But unforunately, i happen to realise that i myself, barely finish a book in a year, sekaligus menyimpulkan, bahawasanya, ada benar survey yang dilakukan atas rakyat msia, di mana average rakyat msia hanya mampu baca dua pages of a book in a year. Dua muka surat?! Kegilaan apakah ini. Again tak payah pergi sejauh jauhnya dan meneliti masyarakat umum, tengok cermin dan cermin diri, pun boleh jatuh terduduk, sedih memikirkannya. Betapa tahap kemalasan untuk duduk dan baca buku atau kepayahan untuk cari masa baca buku sudah cukup menjadi bukti ketamadunan sesebuah bangsa. Ada org kata, ketamadunan ssebuah bangsa direflect kan oleh sejauh mana rakyat negara itu terikat dengan buku atau membaca sebanyak banyaknya sebarang bentuk pembacaan ilmiah. Tapi ini hanyalah luahan pukal....

I think i need to detach my social media with reality world. It bugs me. How ungrateful am i to feel that?

Astaghfirullah The moment im writing his, its full of rage and anger. Its full of impatience and aghast. Im in a total mess, i mean in the inside. I wish that i could be oblivion. I wish that i could make the world work as I plan it to be.In addition, I wish i could lay out a good plan as well. I wish that i could stop making excuses. I wish that i could get my other half as qawiy as could ever be and more nicer than prince charming. I wish i had kids as magnificent as al fateh. I keep wishing. But my wishes are like daydreams. Angan angan kosong. Hakikatnya hanya Allah yang tahu. Betapa kerdil, teruk dan tak guna nya diri ini. Walau sudah di galaskan khalifah itu, rasanya i just messed around with it. I used it as a name tag instead of membumikan khalifah dalam diri. Pokok sudah mahu tumbang, kerana akar itu tidak mencengkam tanah. I am at the verge of failing, failing to see how awesome my creator is. I am at the verge of falling off the cliff, because i didnt see that His faith was ...

Merdekakah aku? When i still stumble upon these pool of filthy jahiliyyah!