amalgamation of thoughts

Venue : Petra, Jordan Sebagaimana gambar ini statik dan tetap di posisinya, seperti itulah kita, andai ruh tidak menghidupkan kita.Jika ditenung lagi,sekalipun kuda yang terukir di syiling itu 'kaku', tapi ia terus kelihatan 'meluncur'. Selagi kita terdaya, jadilah kuda yang bergerak seiringan dengan tarbiyyah dan dakwah.

Its after midnight, so I'll use the term last night to refer the hours before midnight struck. Last night, was a quiet night. No meetings. No usrahs. No gather ups. Nothing. And I remained silent doing nothing. Until the night ended. I realized it was such a waste of time because I wanted to fill it with many things, getting prepared for usrah with mutarabbi, preparing for my own usrah with murabbi, making sure that the lay out of work until Opick's night is smooth and I wanted to study. But I didn't do anything. Partly, because I was bothered. The other half was because I was pondering how little time I have for myself right now and yet I still cannot manage my life as a daie. Right, did I mention I was bothered? Indeed I was. For some times now, I feel empty. But don't misunderstand, this is not futur. My usrah is going on as usual. Meetings are done once a while. Usrah with mutarabbi are done frequently. Easy said, inshaAllah sentiasa mengisi diri.  ...

Its March, yes, months pass by, without fail, with His will. And here I am steady as can be, beginning a new semester and being piled up by work loads that are pushing me to an extent that is beyond my comfort zone. now i get it, all this while, i have been tucked in safe and sound in my very own cocoon. you won't suffer the blade until you yourself have been cut by it . That is when, to one level, you want to run away and hide from people around you, run away to be embraced by your loved ones. do everything because of Him. either you begin to do something with force, or willingly, remember to renew your intentions, scared that every deeds didn't even count in front of Him, simply because you did it because you thought that you were able to do it, instead of because He gave you the ability to do it. but it ain't that easy, thus, tawakkal kepada Allah wahai daie sekalian,  letakkan seluruh pengharapan pada Dia. kerna tawakkal seorang ...

Crushed, slapped, broken into pieces, that was how hard, that slip of statement hit me. I question myself, me and you, does this road make you go astray, for you to come out with such a say. I wonder and ponder, what on earth did go wrong, was it because i wasn't strong? I know this is too fast, to make everything yet to become past, you haven't concluded nor have you deluded, of what have you to decide and to become of pride wouldn't you give it a go and perceive jalan dakwah, either high or low, I love you dear ukht, with all my heart and soul with all my flesh and blood, to let you go off all alone off guarded, unloaded, into this world of mirage and fairytales, that shadows the beauty of Jannah, dear ukht, find your sword and shield, to protect from the hunger of dunya, or from the silent killing shaytan, dear ukht, analyse, decide and get going, no matter what you choose, I will always love you. Your ukht, 030213 sunday alex...

In life, we always see signboards showing us places to go. But the main thing is, we must know where to head. I miss Borneo atmosphere and its people :)

Sometimes, I just forget, that I'm human. Sometimes, I just forget, that its been a while since asked from Him. Sometimes, just sometimes, these feelings come, to wake me up. To wake up the sleeping giant. Teringat jaulah langkawi bersama akhawat, that beautiful memory, still placed preciously inside me.Bukan tak pernah pergi langkawi, pernah je, but the feeling was different with them. That magical different. I guess, I just have to give chance for another magical thing to happen again right? The stunning panaroma captured, the exquisite surrounding shown and the happiness glowing in the faces, creeps jealousy inside me. Jealousy that overshadows the intentions. Dangerous and intoxicating shaytan never fails to stop whispering to the qalbu, to do according to hawa', I know its wrong, I just simply forgot.

as the camels run across the sahara desert, under the glowing sun and having the time of its life, we complain of the heat and temperature, wanting to be cooled down and feeling comfortable. camels, the creations of Allah, a lesson for us all.