Halfway through Ramadan 1444
Assalamualaikum people,
How is everybody doing?
How does it feel to reach the middle of Ramadan?
For me, this Ramadan has indeed been personal for me.
It has indeed made me fall in love again.
In love with the One who deserves to be Loved and who has been Loving us all, all these while,
He is Alwadud.
Now as context, its approaching my second year pacing myself in Borneo. And it has come to me that the time has been indeed fast, like the winds in the winter weather breezing pass by and the coolness of the weather has been embracing me till I can feel it in my bones.
Now I look back in my dusty blog, posts that I keep on the shelves as drafts are piling up. I just do not have that muse or that pushing factor to write. I just do not feel like I want and need to write again.
No one reads it anyway, no one bothers anyway. And then again my heart whispers, are you writing for the sake of humans? Are you wanting acknowledgment from humans respond? And that very instant it felt like someone smacked me in the face and knocked me some senses. Of course that is certainly not suppose to be my niat. I got it all confused and jumbled up my emotions.
We all have our own ways to express, and mine is indeed journalling. I used to keep these small diaries of mine and I pour all my heart and soul in to it. The diary was very very personal to me. But every time I read it back, I get so embarrassed, because you just cannot stand the fact that you used to be childish, selfish, immature and self centric(mind you, the traits are still there and I am not proud at all) but you get to some sense that, whatever you write stays there.
So write carefully, ponder and reflect deep before jotting down.
So, that's among the reason I have been quiet and reserved all these while, its just because I don't have the reason to write, though I actually want to.
Hence, today I feel like I need to share something. And it will be from the Quran, its an ayah about prophet Ibrahim making duaa when he was in Mecca, he mentioned about making the place secure for his descendants to not worship idols;
˹Remember˺ when Abraham prayed, “My Lord! Make this city ˹of Mecca˺ secure, and keep me and my children away from the worship of idols.
Surah Ibrahim : 35
And during my Tadarrus reflection with my sisters from AAPlus Aida shared about this ayah, that Prophet Abraham sincerely prayed for a place that is secure, because he knows, a place with war, corruptions or toxic citizens will only lead to chaos. And a bad environment will need to a fall of the ummah, but insteada good environment will indeed lead into nurturing good souls.
And I reflected that through out this Ramadan, I have been in a certainly 'ballad aminin' where I have spent it at home with my dearest housemate, nabilah, and we have been going through thick thin together. Where starting from struggling to rise up for suhoor (as it is super duper early here) only to sip some water and bite a kurma, worked and worked(this is super tiring because it needs all the energy in you, then we would rest a bit in the evening to prepare for home made Iftar.
And later at night we would get ready for tarawih. After that we would be in our own space zone, as an example for me, I would be excitedly in front of my laptop, excitedly waiting for Tadarus session, getting head over heels with the Quran with my AAPlus champ ladies.
So the cycle is quite repetitive and yet, I haven't been but grateful for the nikmat. Because throughout Ramadan, this is the environment that has been making my heart at peace and my ruhiy fed. And thanks to this duaa by prophet Ibrahim, it made me grateful even more because he showed how important it is to make sure that we get to be in such an environment or easily put as 'biah solehah'.
As to conclude it, our home is where our hearts live, thus lets make the best out of our homes, may we continue to take care of our hygiene it as to ease us in performing our Ibadah, may the words of kalimat tayyibah echoed in every corner of the rooms, let the zikr of the Quran be a soothing remedy to be heard by the ears, drench it with the love because of Allah, liven it, fill it with joy and laughters, inshAllah the homes that we create in the dunya will be like a replica of our mini Jannah mirroring our real Jannah Firdaus which is indeed unimaginably far more better. Ameen.
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