Thursday, May 11, 2017

formula manusia

Bismillah,

For the past few months,
I have finished my first semester this year for this department,
I took my sanad certificate in Cairo,
I managed to jejak/ziarah all RIs present in Cairo,
I managed to do one of my toughest mutabaah amal(and yet, it was only for a short while yet the feeling was awesome)
I managed to win an essay competition,
and the list goes on.
bucket list ticked,
mission accomplished,
and above all, I still can breathe with the oxygen of Allah's,
with the nikmat of iman and islam,
Alhamdulillah.

Lately, i am pondering the meaning of happiness.

what does it mean?

Happy?

sometime ago, i think i already wrote about this matter, and yet it still came to me as if, i had just encountered it for my first time.

kenapa soalan ini mendesak dan menyesak kepala?

apakah aku ragu jalan aku pilih mampu beri kebahagiaan kepada diri yang faqir ini?

sejujurnya, kadang-kadang when you think that burden overflows your limit, you forget,
Allah tidak akan membebankan hambaNya, melainkan sesuai dengan kemampuanya,
and you tend to feel pressured, unhappy, irritable and impatient.

but above all, you reflect yourself in a mirror and you see all this while, to what extend have you grown?

have you been a seed that has a bud sticking out,
or have you been a flower blooming its petal?

because You cannot see changes in You, thus you put yourself as a failure in this road.

adil tak?

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aku terlupa, justeru aku ingin ingatkan diri ini.
andai aku jatuh tersungkur lupa kembali, ingatkanlah aku ya Allah.

Allah Ta'ala ada berfirman,

hai orang-orang yang beriman, penuhilah seruan Allah dan seruan Rasul, apabila Rasul menyeru kamu kepada suatu yang memberi kehidupan kepada kamu,

tarik nafas,

bagaimana kalau kehidupan ini, lantas tidak membuat aku bahagia, malah menyesakkan kepala berfikir tentang jalan ini. Rasa berseorangan, rasa penat, rasa tidak menghidupkan pun!

astaghfirullah,

lantas ayat itu tidak berakhir ukhti, it continues saying,

dan ketahuilah bahawa sesungguhnya Allah membatasi antara manusia dan hatinya, dan sesungguhnya kepadaNyalah kamu akan dikumpulkan.

Lets figure it out, if Allah stands in between our heart and ourself, it totally means we are not in control of it even one millisecond!


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Thus, it shows how powerless and out of control of ourself. sometimes we tend to hide behind our own shadow of thoughts and suppress that fitrah inside us. fitrah seorang muslim.

Sungguh aku rasa lemah dan tidak berdaya. let alone bahagia. Selfish kan seorang bernama manusia ni.

Kita merancang dan merencana kehidupan kita, dan kita kena bear in mind, Allah lagi merancang above all.

formula manusia :

kalau kita rancang, dan perancangan Allah kena dengan perancangan kita, kita bahagia
kalau kita rancang, dan perancangan Allah tak kena dengan perancangan kita, kita sedih dan kata dunia ini tak adil.

aku ingin terus jadi manusia biasakah?
manusia yang seolah-olah tidak kenal tujuan hidup ini.

allahu, aku malu.

ajari aku untuk terus jadi hamba haibat di mataMu.
















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