Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Bintang-bintang syurga

*blowing the dirt off the dusty blog*

Hari ini, tarikhnya cantik.

1 Muharram 1435.

Hijrah.

Since I reached Alexandria a few weeks ago, its been extraordinarily quiet. Which some of the big reasons was because some of the people who I love fillah, decided to return back to malaysia.

To be brief for those who don't understand, because of the recent riots happening in Egypt,since its the second wave, people have been worried ever since, thus, the ministry of education decided to give alternatives to students in egypt, to study elsewhere.

And they chose malaysia.

I came in 2011, knowing nothing about Egypt let alone Alexandria, and only letting Allah plan my way.

Kemudian, 7 Zulhijjah dipertemukan dalam usrah yang pertama di beyt ulfah, dengan mereka. Mereka yang banyak mengajar erti kehidupan, persahabatan, percintaan.

Bermurobbikan dia yang memahamkan kembali tentang tarbiyyah dan dakwah ini.

Setahun bersama mereka, suka dan duka, gembira dan terluka, semua ada, you name it.

Sambil menyelak-menyelak buku usrah pertama di sini, bertemankan lagu bintang syurga, sungguh aku rindu mereka,

Bintang syurga yang di rindukan,
datang-datanglah wahai syahid
dambaan mujahid,
aku relakan sakit yang sedikit.

Sakit, yang bukanlah physically hurt, but emotionally hurt, really hurts. Its painful because it hurts inside.

It hurts even though you put on a smile
It hurts even though you are surrounded with people who love you
It hurts even though you know, that life must go on

The hole in the heart, rupa-rupanya sedikit sebanyak menyedarkan, adakah aku selama ini, bersandarkan kekuatan pada mereka juga?

astaghfirullah :'(

sewaktu usrah pertama, kami bertadhabbur surah annisa, dari ayat 66-77

dan pada ayat 77, di mana ayat itu mengatakan, Allah perintahkan untuk pergi perang, dan ada di antaranya yang minta untuk tundakan kewajipan itu, lalu Allah pujuk lagi di akhir ayat yang panjang itu dengan mengatakan kesenangan di dunia hanya sedikit berbanding kesenangan di akhirat untuk mereka yang bertaqwa,

jadi ada yang memberi khatirah, kita kenalah redha dengan aturan Allah, berperang-perang yang berterusan dengan diri sendiri,

check balik,

Kenapa datang mesir? kalau sebab Dia, then why complain?

Allah adalah sebaik-baik pengatur dan everything He does is for a reason.

And its true,

after two years together, even though apart, it doesn't mean, i'm doomed, or i cannot live.

To zakiyya, mabrouk alf, you are now a wife and a mother to be, even though you are still here, I rarely see you, since we are in different departments, take care and remember to not get hyper active since you dah berbadan dua ;)

The one who is the mature of them all, the first who decided to stay in a Rumah Islam, the one who always gave boosters during Arab classes, the one who laughs at my lame jokes.

To Atiqah, I know you are strong, even though, you are mesir-sick, I know that you are rational in making decisions,keep holding on, the jaulah together made me realised, that Allah wanted me to spend time with you thoroughly before you left :'(

The one who was my room mate, having pillow talks together, motherly in some ways ( I still love the part that you always let me bully you and yet it did not bother you), always giving positive remarks at time I felt bad and useless and hugged tight.

To Diyanah, the one that I least expected to be close with, ending up, loving you dearly from not liking you so much :P, the sudden photoshoot that I wanted to take after examinations was surely a gift from Allah, wanting me to spend time with you together, knowing that i would not see you in future, here in Alexandria.

The one who always help me out in cooking, listening to my babbles, continuously being my usrah mate since the past two years, soft spoken in all ways, yet always falling ill and at times, I didnt entirely manage to care for you. Acting goofy together and always on secret runaways together, going to Cairo together, being you and always frank when speaking to me.

I love you guys dearly and even though, I am still managing my emotions and the accepting the reality that you are not around me literally,

I still know, that when I read this post back, at that time, I can manage to put on a smile and be grateful that I was so blessed to have the love with you guys and you made me feel contented her in Alexandria, that you taught me a lot and were my strength here

Sooner or later, we will meet, hug and cry together.
Maybe sooner than I expected.

Love,
Yours


1 comment:

NorAthina said...

Kiki :')

Sometimes I did have some thought of what will happened not to the students in Egypts, but to the akhawats struggling over there.

Because the feelings and thoughts of leaving our waqi' one day due to BFG I believe would be hard enough. Thus I can't imagine the feelings in making decision to leave when it is not the time 'yet' (suppose to be).

Stay strong sis :) Rindu Kiki :')