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i guess the feeling of outcasted is being significant.the feeling of unwanted is even more.the fact that no one called until you call back.the fact that no one tells you any current activities until you call back.the fact that no stories are treasured bonding ever occurred.

by this time,no more dakwah fardhiah to spread and practice.

no more being a 'role model' since you have never in your life shown a good example

no more trying to crack jokes because your humours are junk

no more trying to please everyone because you were always a burden

you are the dirt that trails around the house.that only smothers places and get people pissed off.the dirt that is rubbish and only just wait for seconds to be trashed out.

i currently regret the fact that i returned home

i regret to be part of them

i regret to be the eldest

i regret because i'm useless

i can't dream anymore because it has been shattered since the day i was born.

people say they long to be home,to be closer to their beloved,to share every laughters and tears.i used to.until i found out that,i have no one home to do one to bother where i've one to bother what i've been one to giggle one to laugh out one to embrace me when i'm in the shallowest one to lend their shoulders and ears.

practically no one to do that.

i long for someone to share stories with me.

i long for someone to tell me secrets.

i long for a kiss on the forehead before i get a good night's rest

i long to feel belonged.


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Di saat seorang ukhti datang dengan berita bakal melangsungkan bahtera perkahwinan, Tentunya hatinya diselebungi bahagia, gembira, ketenangan dan redha dengan aturan Allah,
Di saat yang sama, seorang ukhti lain datang dengan berita, bahtera perkahwinan tertangguh, si jejaka mengundur diri, katanya ingin mengalih fokus dari fikir tentang jodoh. Tentunya hatinya diselubungi hiba, kusut dan sedih dan paling penting, juga akur dengan caturan Allah.
Allahu T-T
Dua berita besar,  Berbeza watak, Berbeza perasaan.
Yg sama adalah,  Berpaksikan Allah.
Indahkan menjadi muslim yang sebenar-benarnya!

caca merba tulisan si penulis

I always act impulsively, be it planned or unplanned. Like when I'm writing this very moment, is unplanned business, I simply write what I feel, with a little bit of add ons and thus, my writings are ready to be publicized. macam masak mee segera je, campak-campak dan cepat masak. Its not that its wrong, only when its finished, its all over the place. cacamerba gitu.

I want it to be properly arranged, nicely put in words, explanations and analogies so that what is presented, is beneficial to everyone, especially to me who reads back my own writings.

emotions are to be publicized accordingly and kept accordingly.

May Allah preserve our writings, and we only write which is AlHaq.