Monday, February 15, 2010

the BIGgest loser

whenever i look at the scales,i get goosebumps and unwanted feelings creep inside me.i'm 18 going on 19 and still young and healthy,but at my age,my BMI is way beyond the ideal one.i guess i am overweight and that sickens me out.i hate strolling around and definitely hate exercising!i just love to EAT,and even when i'm not doing anything,i'll automatically walk to the kitchen and open the refrigerator to scavenge for anything to put in my mouth,who knows if i'm lucky enough to find a piece of chicken!i really have bad eating habits where my likes are just towards low density lipoprotein sort of food instead of going for high density lipoprotein food.so there you go,at the very instant,you'll definitely picture where the fats came from and build up.i often look in the mirror and see a very gigantic person in it,but sadly i'll deny thats me,and so i continue eating as though tomorrow will never come!Ironically,i was at my granny's house in wakaf bharu,and everyone was at the dining table watching telly.it was broadcasting the biggest loser,and they were appointing me to enter.i tried not to get sad,but deep down inside me,i felt intimidated and frustrated,how did i become this big?was it the fault of the genes of my dad's?why did i love to eat?and the list of questions keep popping up inside me.it really was a pain in the ass,and scarred every inch of my heart.but who was i to be mad too?because it was nothing but the truth.it was nothing but the reality.and sadly,reality does bite.and for a nearly a decade i've been shut in my cocoon and away from public having the lowest self confidence due to my size and weight.i am short and plump.i have the biggest butt in the universe and a very bad attitude,i guess.and i have been going on reminding myself to keep away from girls who are slim and gorgoeous.keep away from dudes who are total hunks.why?so i won't let myself intimidated and embarassed by them.and it suddenly smacked me in the face,for how long should i keep on being a total failure and leading a life full of misery?shutting myself from the world wouldn't do any good to me,instead it will make the condition worsen.so now,i'm really determined to shed the fats out of me,get out and have a life,enjoy the days ultimately.get rid of the sleeping addict in me and lets burn those calories.bye bye low density lipoprotein food and hello healthy foods!i'm no more the biggest loser!

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