open your eyes,the sign is all around you

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First day of life as a House Officer

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Retrospective Entry on the 1st of December 2018 First poster and first tagger Bangun super duper lambat, thumb printed at 8.21 yet kena ada pada 8.15. My heart nearly stopped beating. That feeling was mixed with shock and frustration, I had a nerve wrecking feeling that my life has ended. What if they kick me out because I was super duper late? Impulsively, I didnt take any bath, I was just able to wash my face thus straightaway ran to pejabat pakar, we had to be there for briefings. Sighed with relief, belum start lagi briefings.Then by the time jumpa PA medical, Dr Kumutha(medical sp) and leaders, at that time Khai and Nabilla, we could buy some more time to relax thus i took a shower and properly prepared my bag(mind you at that time, I just lived next door, I stayed in the hostel) I Went back to work at 12 pm. Medical department, ward 10C. Many blood takings. Just too much. Because it was a dengue ward, so we had to take the patients blood according to the phase of dengue...
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light upon light in Ramadan.

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  It was not long before we were told that Raya was going to be a day earlier than planned and it was only 29 days of Ramadan. Many were devastated as it shows that lesser time to spend with the Holy Month, some because it meant the preparation of Raya needs to be hasten.  Thus what we need now is not to decide which sadness are we, but to keep on boosting the spirit of Ramadan, most important, the 10th last nigth which meant, the night of Lailatul Qadr.  I am super super excited but I know that my spirits are being a little burn out. I am starting to have that symptoms of lack of sleep, exhausted during the day, dehydrated, taking a while to read the Quran. My duaas are jumbled i do not know which to priotize, what if i ask the wrong thing, what if i dont ask the most thing that i need and want.  And i know, this cannot be it, the virtues of Ramadan are so so much but i am just slowing down. This cannot happen (i scream my lungs out as I freak my way out) I t...
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A note to God

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is it a norm to feel scared? is it a norm to feel butterflies and lots of other insects moving vigorously in the stomach? is it a norm to feel restless ? thats always felt when there are major things going on,especially when the time left is less than 24-hours. but alas, I almost forgot,I almost put aside,that the most vital part after our endeavors,is to leave the rest to our 'wakilan',who else than Allah the Almighty. It is He that determines our ability and capability instantaneously. It is He who will comfort us doing these stressful moments. It is He who will be there for us. It is He who loves us eternally. It is He who awaits us in paradise. Who are we to deny and who are we to forget, Slaves who are always ungrateful and easily take things for granted. I am sorry Allah for being ignorant and careless, Bless me tomorrow and for the days onwards. muharikah_130111
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