amalgamation of thoughts

| the smile on your face makes me know that you need me

2012-02-03T21:58:00.002+08:00

skyped with ifah,maryam and una and it made my day ! We had such a long conversation and just as I was about to close the computer, I saw wanee online and decided to have some chit chat with her,the thing was, I was able to chat with mayang and nadhirah!

subhanallah!

seronok!

Its like you were given an ice cream with chocolate toppings and with a strawberry on top,awww thats scrumptious isn't it?

Anyway,alhamdulillah,the talks with beloved really was pengubat rindu to me :)

loves to all that I love <3

| one freezing day

2012-02-03T20:07:00.000+08:00

“Orang mukmin yang kuat LEBIH BAIK DI SISI ALLAH dan LEBIH DIKASIHI daripada orang mukmin yang lemah, sedangkan setiap seorang itu mempunyai kebaikannya ; oleh itu hendaklah engkau bersungguh-sungguh berusaha memperoleh apa yang memberi manfaat kepadamu, serta hendaklah meminta pertolongan Allah dan janganlah engkau bersikap segan dan malas; dan sekiranya engkau ditimpa sesuatu, maka janganlah berkata, ‘Kalaulah aku lakukan itu ini, tentulah terjadi begitu begini’, tetapi katakanlah ‘Allah telah takdirkan, dan apa yg dikehendaki oleh kebijaksanaaNya Ia lakukan, kerana perkataan ‘kalau’ itu membuka jalan kepada hasutan syaitan.”

(hadith riwayat sahih Muslim).

|mirror mirror on the wall

2012-02-03T08:13:00.001+08:00

once,
an ukhti did something so sweet to me,
and since it was beyond what I expected,
a greet of jazakillah was all that I could give

but alas!

she noticed something wrong and quickly but softly corrected me,

"what does jazakillah means aqeelah?"
smiling while shrugging the shoulders
"it means May Allah Reward you,so whenever you want to thank an ukhti,never forget to finish up the sentence,say jazakillah khayr,which means, may Allah grant you with goodness."

and I smiled back at her,
"jazakillah khayr ukhti"

and till now,
i will never forget that, inshaAllah

| taking a sip of coffee

2012-02-01T20:53:00.002+08:00

yesterday night,

my floor mates requested to see the videos when me,ifah and una were kiddos,i barely remembered most of them thanks to my dear hemisphere cerebrum,but i'm glad i can still see that I had so much fun,

those days when we couldn't care less about money or looks,those days when we were carefree and just enjoyed the great blue sky,strolling in castlepark pretending to be butterflies and flying in the winds,

those were memories
and good ones,

I vow myself to create memories too,enjoy life and be grateful to whatever that will be stored ahead,life is short,but memories are infinite.

And I'm so glad along the journey,I knew Him <3

| a tale for an ukhti

2012-02-01T20:28:00.000+08:00

Dear Adilah,

I know a lot of stuff are going on to us all,separated by miles away,going on life,solving problems realising that only Allah will never leave our side,swallowing the fact that we are not as close as we used to be,but thank god,no feeling of anxiety or awkwardness anymore,no jealousy or fed ups of emotions,no su'uzhun or expectations,and accepting each other for who we are,alhamdulillah

how does it feel,when you are not anymore together with your best friend?
a room mate of mine asked,

it made me ponder,it doesn't matter,as long as we are friends because of Him,even if we couldn't communicate for a couple of years,only the fact of wireless doa to know that the friend is okay

because you know,that deep down,you love this friend of yours because of Allah.

So my friend,

Happy Birthday,

May Allah Bless you,

And may your wishes and prayers are answered by Him

| pause.breathe.think

2012-01-28T03:28:00.001+08:00

salamaun'alaik

hello upper east side!
whats is for today y'all,

I dont know whats got in to me,but lately i always recieve emails from ummi and I'm so happy and over the moon :)

and I had just came back from sending una off to Cairo,for a winter gathering,boleh ke saya request sahabat sahabat doakan adik saya,

and I am being shoved ahead,coming nearer than ever to the D-day,

may allah ease the way,plus,I was blog walking and I saw this picture and it made me sigh in relief,alhamdulillah

To una,fly to the moon,using your wings <3

Una boona

2012-01-25T06:27:00.001+08:00

Una's here!
Alhamdulillah alhamdulillah alhamdulillah,she has safely reached alexandria at last,after the long endless journey, all alone as early as 17,I really salute her,she is one strong lady!

Anyway,this is una, and her first egyptian meal,well I consider it as a snack,gambari baneyh,shrimp sandwich and it really taste scrumptious,nothing can describe the taste -,-

I'm just glad that when my heart is suffering from mildness 'rindu' of home,una came,besides,I secretly cry when she goes to sleep,because the happiness of having her here is beyond that.

anyhow,

doakan kami adik beradik dan satu keluarga,

hmm you got me,that's una,its not me,

haihhhh many have mistaken me with her,do we really look alike :)

dan diizinkan allah,dapatlah saya skype dengan ummi and abah for the first time ever,yeah baby yeah!dan betapa besar nikmat yang Allah bagi,bukan saja ummi dan abah,malah seisi keluarga,

*applause*

I mean, I got to talk to nenek and atuk and even Ahmad,and the most surprising thing is,its 8 in the morning but its so alive over there,I wish I would stop sleeping after subuh here,I mean even my little brother in malaysia doesnt sleep after subuh,common la,dont say I lose to my brother?

oh allah,please give me that inner strength,the strength that i need to withstand internal and external pressure of life.

Life is a like a rollercoaster,its either you close your eyes throughout the journey just because you cant stand the world,or you just go with the world and scream when in need,

dont push yourself if you aren't ready,but always tajdid niat so that, no matter what choice it is,it still counts in front of Him,

I mean,who is cooler other than Allah?

no one.

only Him,and I am in love with Him,inshaAllah

| it's raining,quick grab an umbrella!

2012-01-04T08:54:00.000+08:00

linked by the unseen bond, thats how ukhuwwah because of Allah works.

Happy New Year to all,and what a nice way to start the year with,tajdid niat fellas!

| janji Allah memang benar

2012-01-04T07:57:00.000+08:00

He said,

Berpenat lelahlah kerana sesungguhnya kesenangan itu selepas kepayahan.janganlah berdukacita kerana hidup ini meletihkan,kerana demikianlah hidup itu diciptakan

Imam Syafie

| a letter from ummi made all nightmares turn into good dreams

2011-12-28T06:46:00.000+08:00

I'm nervous,exams are the most upcoming events above all,so all eyes on the book people!The moment I need some hugs and comforts,I receive an email from ummi,tears start running down,going out of that lacrimal duct of Allah's.

Jazakillah ummi,for reminding me that Allah is always there for us,

Rabbuna Yusahhil mummy for the viva and house chores,

I love you <3

ana hashewtini awiii

| I wont forget you no matter where I go

2011-12-25T02:02:00.000+08:00

sanah helwa ya gameel,for my sister ariefah!!!

I LOVE YOU SISTER!

| dunya berputar atas paksi,manusia berjalan ikut kondisi

2011-12-20T06:53:00.000+08:00

And when my servants ask you concerning Me,then surely I am very near; I answer the prayer of the suppliant when he calls on Me,so they should answer My call and believe in Me that they may walk in the right way

al baqarah:186

| mengejar cinta Allah dengan berlari-lari ke berjogging?

2011-12-20T06:49:00.000+08:00

We can never judge people because each person that stops by in our life, will give a lesson no matter how.For the past two days with the most innocent people i've ever been with,reminds me back the memories I use to have with my adik-adik,Fatin,Iqa,Lily,Ainin,hanan,haz,along and yaya and not to miss out the beloved Adie and Fiqah who are now safely with their bulatan gembira in respective countries,Czech republic and Indonesia.

After being on hiatus several months,adapting with Egypt itself,the surroundings,new environement,new people and basically getting to know with the people around me,wasn't like eating nasi ayam back at home.I had to face,phases of tearful nights,depression,lonliness, which was a norm for the first few months,and sometimes it still is if I drift in my lala land,but alhamdulillah thum alhamdulillah thum alhamdulillah,my spirits were lifted because I officially joined usrah with akhawats the same age as me,and were also first years.Subhanallah,Allah's plan are beyond the plans of human themselves.i am so deeply in love with my own circle of love,Afifah,Zakiyya,Diyanah,Atiqah.

When we sit together,duduk beriman sejenak and share the words from our Creator,a different feeling arise,its like being immense in the poor world by remembering Allah gaining spirits.It gave me strength to start everything from scratch yet the same old anxiety and nervousness came back.But in the name of Allah the Most Gracious i begin my seek.

The mad'u hunting.

Will the adik-adik reject me? How will I create tsiqoh with them? What to cook,forgodsake?! And questions after questions keep playing in my head.

But with tawakkal to allah and a little pushing factor inside,Alhamdulillah, i went for it.No one said being in jalan dakwah is easy as strolling in the park to get the beautiful sunset view.I faced hardships and ran out of ideas whenever in front of them,but slowly,pacing the footsteps,it taught me a lot.

Not everyone knows the sweetness of Ad-Deen,and to those out there who feels it,lets work hand in hand to spread the same feeling to others.And like I always mention,because I really want it,to meet everyone I know and brothers and sisters of Islam,in the garden of Delights,one fine day.

Now stepping on reality,we have a very big exam coming just around the corner,so I feel lost for these past two days,I mean hesitating here and there,wanting to pause from dakwah work to focus on study.But alas,how can I be so selfish,how can I think of my own self when the society nowadays are very severe.As a da'ie,I shoudln't have that fikrah.Instead of running away,I have to blend in the dunya,not pause.I must say,that its not easy,but I can do my dakwah despite anything coming in the way regarding dunya,with the condition that I'm able to manage time,I dont procastinate and above all,I must always return back to Him.

Plead from Him,

Seek from Him,

Depend on Him.

Those who believe and whose hearts are set at rest by the remembrance of Allah ; now surely by Allah's remembrance are the hearts set at rest

ar-ra'd:28

So,did I mention my adik-adik are so innocent.Ah yes,I guess I've said it several times,but they truly are! They love to cook,and I think they feed me much better than I should feed them,they always skype with their parents,the love their families so much,they dont have boyfriends and have never had any,they talk,giggle,study,complaint about sleeping in class sometimes,solat jemaah and they even eat in dulangs.Comel kan?

They are those adik-adik that when they are given understandings and explanations of the purpose of life,tuning their mindsets here and there,and in no minutes time,they would be like flowers blooming in Spring.

And I,would always pray that they become the flowers of the Deen,InshaAllah.

| manusia memang fitrahnya sering lupa dan alpa.

2011-12-16T08:02:00.000+08:00

a medicine to this lonely heart,
as the words from the Creator consoles the pain inside,
as it is an indescribable feeling,

the urge to not stay back from this dakwah,
as not to be a selfish person,
and continuously holding hands with many,
to enter His Jannah together,
by spreading the words of Islam,

and to keep walking on this road even though the pace is slow,
and to keep standing up each time falling,

to keep reminding the Lord is the Greatest compared to us,

and the reason to continuously shed the tears because of Him.

Buat ukhti sekalian,saya sungguh rindu kalian,gelak tawa kalian,bermesyuarat tentang adik-adik,berjaulah bersama-sama,bergaduh kadang kala dan bercinta kerana dia, ayuh terus terusan mengejar cintaNya, dan menjadi benteng pertahanan Islam!

Buat Athina,jazakillah sangat sangat, sesungguhnya,walaupun berjauhan namun tetap merasa kemanisan kurma itu kan?

| ma'alesh

2011-12-16T07:39:00.002+08:00

"Walaupun kita berjauhan, dipisahkan oleh jarak dan masa, tidak bertentang wajah dan mata, namun kita tetap berbuka dengan kurma yang sama."

taken from angelwearsgucci.blogspot.com

I have nothing to say than I'm sorry,it is now awkward,weird and monotonous each time words are said.i prefer being drop dead silence than bursting into tears each time talking.

Its not the matter of not being happy for you only, its the matter of losing some part of me,some part that use to be happy to have you to lean on or to talk to or even to snuggle with.

To wake me up for Subuh and to pray jemaah,wasnt that cool each time,with that mesmerizing voice of yours reciting the words from Allah,subhanaAllah.Reminding one another when one was diverging from His road.To console me with optimistic advices and positive enhancement,and to just smother me with that special ukhuwwah we had.

Only as time passes by,I just realised that you are better without me.

apologies given vividly,I'm sorry again ukhti,ma'alesh.

| hiatus

2011-12-09T20:46:00.001+08:00

I need a break.detachment from the cruel world.no,no,no the world itself isnt cruel.indeed not!it is,then again Allah's creation.

I just need a break from the revolution and evolution of the world itself.Away from the people full of masks and false.Away from the ongoing technology.Immensing in the dunya might then again make me drown in misery,please Lord,take me with you.

and alhamdulillah in this dunya,people are still changing and turning into new leaves,making hijrah,from the worst to the best,i read blogs,statuses of my friends,and also jumping from blogs to blogs of a whole bunch of unknown people,even though we dont know each other,but the bond of aqidah running in our veins make the ukhuwwah stronger,yes it does! Knowing that everyone is believing and in love with the words from Him,our Creator.

and the best part is,when we get to see Him in the Garden of Delights ,we all cry of happiness mashaAllah,its an honor indeed to meet Him.

He is Allah,the Creator,the Shaper out of nothing,the fashioner.His are the most beautiful names.All that is in the heavens and in the earth gives Him glory,and He is the Mighty,the Wise.

until then,
let it be me against the world.

what a nice feeling to be in love with Allah.No pain,no disappointment,no worries.Just blessings,mercy and peace.

what a nice feeling indeed,
Oh Allah .

| running away from reality

2011-12-05T08:44:00.001+08:00

I keep running round in circles,I run from things I think scare me,but what do I get when I continue running,I keep bumping into the same thing,

I want to run to a faraway land,I want to run with the winds,

Oh Allah,build up some faith in me and raise me among the muttaqin,

ameen

| simple but sweet

2011-12-03T03:30:00.000+08:00

Oh Allah I wish for the unity of the ummah.

Ameen

And today is my dearest ukhti's birthday,Elis!

Ya habibti,sanah helwah!

May Allah bless you in all you do,

Ana bahib Elis fillah :)

| mother town

2011-11-29T04:30:00.001+08:00

ummi and abah has safely reached malaysia,when will my time be?
will there be a chance for me anyway?

| Ahmad the great

2011-11-28T04:29:00.001+08:00

I opened facebook and happened to see my little brother online,which was a total surprise.And so I decided to chat.

He was in Kelantan,and he was ranting about slow internet,cats running away from him and stuff,so I told him to help nenek in the kitchen,and innocently he answered,nenek doesnt want his help and atuk was always in front of the television,and he added, all he could do was sleep for 48 hours,

ahmad ahmad,*shaking head*

I then mentioned about food,I asked whether the food nenek cooked was delicious and he couldnt deny it,I mean, who could ever win over my nenek right?

and before we ended the whole chitchat,I told him to be patient since he sometime become outrageous when he wants everything to go his way,

he's such a darling actually,he loves his family dearly and could cry over small things if it came to family matters,he could be an incredible hulk when his moodiness gets in the way, but once he's adorable,no one would have the heart to scold him.

i miss my only brother,Ahmad,

he will always be inside my heart,always!

| inilah dunya

2011-11-26T22:29:00.001+08:00

'Orang yang melakukan dosa di dunia, dia tidak akan dapat ketenteraman dan ketenangan.Meskipun lahiriah nampak senang, mampu makan apa sahaja makanan yang diingini,mampu tinggal di mana sahaja yang dikehendaki, namun selama dia belum sampai kepada keyakinan dan petunjuk maka hatinya akan sentiasa gelisah, bingung, ragu dan masih ragu, ini ialah kehidupan yang sempit'

Ibn Kathir

2011-11-26T20:30:00.001+08:00

a mother's love , a son's care

| maal hijrah 1433

2011-11-26T18:17:00.000+08:00

hijrah is a fresh start,
from total darkness, we trash the old unwanted memories,
for a whole new start.

from being the old person who used to wake up late
into a better person who utilizetime more efficiently

from being someone who only cared for herself
to someone who cared less for herself but more to others,
and also to those who are in need

its not the matter of things happening to you,
but its more to whats happening inside you!

take care of the delicate heart
and cherish it by loving our Creator and al habib

| The Quest for Meaning , TR

2011-11-23T09:01:00.001+08:00

and not to answer, is the answer : tariq ramadhan

the ultimate quest,playing in our minds,recited by our mouths and desired by the heart, finding the peace.

p/s : this is for lyana , remember the moments we share words of tariq ramadhan :) and to akhawats out there, its our job to find the answer and ask the same questions to other people too.

rabbuna yunaggah :)

| hizb an nuur

2011-11-23T08:45:00.001+08:00

Il intikhabaat is coming up this 28th,and a lot of things are going through my mind over and over again.Will Misr still be Misr as it is?

Please pray for the us in Egypt ,

Rabbuna Yusahhil InshaAllah

| the 4th generation

2011-11-18T05:22:00.001+08:00

ifah sent a message just as i was about to start class,maryam got straight As for her UPSR! and she was crying happily back at home.

dear allah,

alhamdulillah.

knowing maryam,she really deserves it.she loves school,she's so innocent and straightforward,she listens to peoples advices and she rarely opposes back.she is special in her way and the best part is,she never forgets people.She is a home person,so neat and tidy,and scolds them who leaves dirty trails near her bed!

she wakes up earlier than everyone,and she's not the shopping type,she will constantly recite the quran even though she's a manga fan,but it all adds up to perfectness,

Im just glad I have her,mabrouk alayk sister :)

| Especially for you, Una

2011-11-14T21:54:00.001+08:00

on october 26th,una sent me a message through facebook,but silly me,i didnt seem to notice it until now,what have I been doing all these while?

today,una is going through a big examination,SPM!I know Ive already passed the examination two years ago,but with parent still in mecca for hajj,big sisters at universities and all alone there in dungun,its saddening and depressing.

i still remembered how i cried tearfully with ummi through the phone when i saw parents after parents seeing their children,but mine never coming.so everytime i called ummi,i would cry till i couldnt speak,and ummi tried to calm me down but it failed,i was helpless and restless,until one day, a blue honda city came into the school compartment,abah came to see me, all the way from shah alam!

and i think una feels the same,but she's just okay,i think so.and to me,she is so tough,the toughest among us all i suppose!

I miss una,and the fact that people keep mistaking me with her,makes me feel more attached to this dearest sister of mine.

Dear Una,

Examinations are a norm,we always go through 'exams' in our life,or we rather name it as 'tests',either to wake up early,to be a little more hardworking,to do more ibadah and etc,the difference is,now you are undergoing a big examination more to the dunya,SPM,its going to wrap up your school years,so enjoy the days while it last,dont just be with books,make sure to spend time with Allah,friends and most important,give yourself a break from time to time,

During the examinations,dont be nervous and act as cool,as cool as you have always been :),if you think you cant remember a term,or a formula,or a word,say zikr in your heart,and know that,we always forget stuffs,so we return back ourself to Allah since He remembers and knows every single thing.

And after the exams,dont go pondering the mistakes you think you had done and dont discuss them back,but its not wrong to chit chat about them,

most important,just dont be too hard to yourself,

you are genius and genuine and i put full trust on you,

take care dear sister nabiela husna,

and deepest apologies for the late reply.

Love Aqeelah
xoxo

| there's a reason why we live,thank you ummi and abah for trusting me

2011-11-13T02:58:00.001+08:00

I use to have that small hesitation whether Egypt is the right place to go,and believe it or not for the first couple of weeks here,I still had that mindset.

its not easy to be on your own and act as if nothing ever happened for these past two years,and the KTT days were nothing,absolutely preposterous,KTT was the most memorable place on earth,until now.

Amazing sahabat,happy 'bulatan gembira' and the list continues,and I think I have been blogging and reposting the memories during my KTT days,and maybe some might say,

'come on,grow up,go move on!'

But inshaAllah,inshaAllah,inshaAllah,Allah hears every single whispers,intuition and knows every tears slowly running down the cheeks.

Knowing that my friends are still with me,eventhough they are no where in Egypt,but they are all safely kept in my heart, Im glad to Allah,He gave me great sahabats,alhamdulillah :)

Thank you Allah.

2011-11-12T06:07:00.001+08:00

this is maryam haaziqah,my sister

this is ahmad nabhan fikriey,my brother

2011-11-12T06:06:00.001+08:00

| November the eleventh

2011-11-11T03:40:00.001+08:00

such a nice date,I just realised that,

11 11 11

love from peter and paul

| a new misr

2011-11-11T03:01:00.001+08:00

is this the sign for a better misr?lets pray for the best of the ummah.
biladil misr!

taken from our balcony

| langit ilahi

2011-11-10T22:59:00.001+08:00

awan yang berarak

mengisi jiwa yang sedang berduka lara

mengundang seribu kenangan

bersama mereka yang mencipta memori

langit yang terbentang luas

yang membuktikan agungnya penciptaNya

menginsafi diri hamba yang lemah tidak berdaya

untuk sentiasa mencapai redha ilahi

itulah langit ilahi

| tracing the footsteps of Al-Habib

2011-11-09T08:49:00.000+08:00

shine your mercy like the sun, and be gracious as the earth

let your kindness come like rain that cares not whom it falls upon

and let ocean deep your wisdom be, your heart and lanterns spreading peace
give yourself in love of him, be like al-habib

and in your deepest needs and in your deepest grieve, call on him in humility
place your trust in the one, to whom creation turns

you'll find redemption and find peace

be a blazing fire of truth, be a soothing balm of peace
with the light of your sincerity, break the clouds of tyranny
let your faith be like a blessed tree, give your shade to all who seek
may your roots run true and deep, take your strength from al-habib

and all the certainty will bring tranqulity, contentment with allah's decree
give thanks for all that comes, be patient and know that someday you will return to him

hold fast to the company of the folk of certainty
through the gaze and through your love for them,
may you be as one of them
be as gentle as the whispering breeze, spread solace to the world we're in
let your heart and soul be mirror clear, give life and love to al-habib

and stand before allah like nothing else exists, and worship him like you are seen
be with all creation and all your deeds and words
as though you have no self to clean

for my akhawats,

yes I miss all of you,

yes I miss the moments we were together,remembering Him together and reminding ourselves because of Him,

yes I miss the time we laughed and cried together,the moment we fought because of misunderstandings,and how we always had trips outside,going out to see Allah's creation using our hearts,eyes, and ears.

for my dearest sisters in czech republic,

adilah,jawahir,maryam,nabila,amanina,azila and azira,

the biah there,its amazing,i've heard tonnes of stories there and I hope that all of you bring back something for us,be a superb da'ie and lets repent the world full of misery to a world full of happiness inshaAllah.

for adilah,

yes its true,we had rough moments once in a while,and when you love someone and you start feeling attached to one another,you easily get mad in the slightest movement one makes,I'm sorry and guilty in making you mad,and at the same time,Im just glad you are happy as can be,surrounded by wonderful sisters there,send my love to them dear.

for my dearest sisters in India,

to name some lyana,wanee,nad,miza,ilan,kown,athai,hazlin,reen,mimi,izzati,nadiah,harisah,mayang,ayuni and loads more ,

the land of maududi is adventurous,go explore the world and spread the words of Islam,part of me is still with the rest of you,since our sisters are mainly in india,but im trying to purify my niyah just for the sake of Him and to accept what has been stated for me,to learn to accept.

for lyana,yes I do remember our talk on your bed,I miss moments,spending my time with ukhti,but my dear,I guess you are going through a hard time too,and its easy to say,dont worry unless I put myself in your shoes,its not easy,but only we can make things easier by accepting everything happening around us with a sincere heart,I love you ukht.

for miza,thank you for loving and being loved,a big big big thank you and a big hug is all i want to give to you right now!

for my dearest sisters in Indonesia,

athina,afiqah and little hazirah,

may magical moments given by Allah for you there happens to soothes you,we are never alone,and dont forget to seek from Him,since he is the Giver and he is the Acceptor,so just ask for anything and Allah will grant happiness for you.

for athina I must say that yes,its been a rough start,but rough starts is like a must,especially on this road,and reading your comment really make my eyes start to water,yes,I feel useless and hopeless,I forgot that Allah was always beside me and my beloved sisters we always hand in hand to support each other,jazakillah ukht

for my dearest sisters in malaysia,

elis,lily,syamim,ida and the kakak2, to be precise kak ain abas,kak ain samad,kak maziah,kak arifah
we met because the sake of Allah and the bond gets stronger as the distance becomes longer,all those happy circles we made is carved in my heart waiting for its owner to start appreciating all that is happening around it.how grateful i was to even be known of tarbiah itself,alhmadulillah.

elis said,we want to be special in front of Allah's eyes,so we have to act extraordinarily,and the moment she said those beautiful words in front of me, my eyes started watering,I want to be special in front of Allah,I do, I do.

we all do.

so, dear sisters,be like al habib,to be special in front of Allah,follow the traces of our Rasulullah and inshaAllah , we will be loved deeply by our Creator.

I miss Rasulullah,and to be remembered by him is an honour, thank you so much dear Rasulullah.

yet when you master all of this, forget not your neediness

were it not for allah's grace, none of this can be achieved
so be humble as the lonely earth, that all creatures walk up on
be the slave of the most merciful, take your light from al habib

so shine your mercy like the sun, send your light across the earth
let your kindness flow like rivers, quench the thirst of all who come
and let mountain strong your spirit be, let your heart melt out of love for him
take the road that leads to him, may you be with al-habib

food galore #egypt

2011-11-09T07:56:00.001+08:00

Wahba,the all time favourite spot,especially for the mara students staying in the hostel.the people's choice is more to bread with and addition of lahm(beef) or firah(chicken) and the list goes on.

shawarma

at ya halla , and eating beriyani rice which is the most delicious cuisine serving arabic food!

the tazag , a fast food restaurant.

chocolates and sweets

welatain an alternative for kfc,their chicken is the best,and they even have a bread which is a sandwich with turkey as long as 50 cm!

at coffee roastery and had orio madness with a dish of seafood and white sauce which was unbearably good!

zalabiah wa shokalatah and ice creams near falaky centre.

camel meat , the recent menu for eiduladha,

happy eiduladha to all!

2011-11-07T04:57:00.001+08:00

the fact that you just made my heart jolted scares me.your cool act adores me.walking in front of us like a guardian angel,glancing back once a while to check whether we are okay,passing through those creepy arab guys calmly,and concerned whether or not we know where we are heading.and lastly when we wanted to pay you back,you refused and asked us to pray du'a for you.
and there you go,you just melted my heart.
is everyone as frank as you or are you one in a million.

astaghfirullah...im scared of these preposterous feelings.indeed i am.

| uncertainties

2011-11-03T23:54:00.000+08:00

In the name of the most gracious the most merciful.
My heart is flipping and doing somersaults,I dont feel calm.
My heart aches and tears seem to be running down my cheeks easily,
I cant seem to be solving the jigsaw puzzles in my life.

I used to be the girl who was all bubbly and smiling here and there,
i think I still do it, but I dont feel the sincerity nowadays.

My friends seem to be happy and I m glad for them.

But sadly,I dont feel the happiness.

Ya Rabb,
You gave me everything and yet I can't seem to be grateful enough.
Please forgive me.

My days here are becoming messier and messier,I wake up so late and take my bath.Then,if I'm lucky enough I get to go to class with the girls.

i still cant blend in,Im trying,I am,please dont look down on me,Im trying.

And if I'm not,i'll go to class all alone,from the asrama,I'll walk all the way to mahattah raml(train station raml),and hop on to stop at mahattah gama'ah,and again i'll walk again to muassah(our current universiti).
And the journey is uber far!

and when you are alone,the journey becomes even more further.

and when I come back home,I'll be restless and do stuff that usually leads me in doing unnecessary things,i used to say to a besties of mine,
"maybe you should reduce in making excuses and make a move"

and right now,Im doing it.

so right after school,i return home or go and visit friends and end up the night at theirs.but the routine is the same,and my ruhiyy feels tired.

I feel like im stranded on an island , and right now,it raining heavily.How I wish, I could run to that someone,embrace that person and cry my heart out.

and I would love to do that with my Creator.

| a sweet homemade cup of coffee

2011-10-27T07:18:00.001+08:00

I can now hear clearly my sisters, my brother's, and my aunt's voice.My first time skyping home, and I surely miss home, so much.
The smell of my house, the noisiness of the adikadik fighting, laughing, giggling and the loving biah we live in.

We are not so expressive and sometimes I'm mad towards myself because, I get so many but I always feel ungrateful, astaghfirullah.

Tomorrow will be a big test for us,Alexandrians freshmans, since its our first and foremost welcoming exam, so I'm a little scared although I know Allah has layed the results in luh mahfuz, way before I went out of my mother's womb.But I still seek for a good result, to please Him, being a good muslim medical student and to please people that I love.

I want to be a doctor for the sake of Allah.

Its a big thing, but I'm sure of that, InshaAllah.Please pray for me and my dear sahabats too :)

the love a son can give to his father

2011-10-23T07:05:00.001+08:00

right now abah is with ummi in makkah
i miss them awii awii

| 1110011

2011-10-12T12:50:00.001+08:00

my first day of lecture in alexandria faculty of medicine .

such a meaningful lecture given by the beautiful dukturah hoda khalifa.

out of thousands of words coming out of her mouth.i was really fond of one of it and with a few modifications,it sounded more or less like this

"i consider every book as a journey,the journey gets more exciting day by day as
far as the book does page by page"

being in medical field isnt easy and i know that.just pray that allah ease your way along the path.

allah will insyaAllah repay our faith as long as we believe in him totally.
Keep on believing peeps.

| A day in Kaherah

2011-10-10T09:48:00.001+08:00

We started the journey with bismillah, and we headed straight away to muhafazah(state) giza where ahram(pyramids) were built.There were bascially 3 big pyramids in the area, and the inventions of pyramids at first was as a graveyard for the dead bodies.But later on, it was for the empire's fame.So in the end, Egypt didnt do pyramids anymore.It came to me,that if we become to greedy of fame and richness, it can harm us in away,we can lose control of our behaviour and act beyond norms.

And then, we moved on to muhafazah fusthot, here, Amr Al Asr,the founder of Egypt,one of Rasulullah's sahabat, left his tent undetached due to some birds laying there nest on the tent.Later on, people made a small valley around the tent which now became a state called Fusthot, the tent itself now is known as the Masjid of Amr Al Asr.It was amazing, how kind hearted Amru Al Asr was to not shoo the birds away but instead just left the tent as it is.How empathy he was to birds,and reflecting us, as upcoming doctors,we need to have that feeling towards all living creatures, be it animal,humans or anything else,as long as it is Allah's creations.We stopped for Jamak Zuhr and Asr,and I felt as though I couldnt lift my head up from my sujud.I was so sad, my soul was longing for spirits like Amr Al Asr who lived because of the Deen,my soul longed for the Jannah,my soul longed for Allah.

Moving on, we also went to the Fortress of Salahuddin AlAyyubi,and it was Him who freed Plastine from the Kuffar.We really need a Salahuddin Al Ayyubi in this millenium era, and who knows,it might be your own kid?InshaAllah.We entered the National Museum inside the fortress, and one thing captured my eyes throughout the visit in the museum, how the soldiers of islam back than, showed the identity of islam by even wearing a 'serban' during war!

But alas,what about us?There is no 'literal' war at the moment,yet why is it so hard to show the identity of Islam itself?Why have we lost in the Battle of Nafs?! Why sisters and brothers,why?

And then before we ended the trip with dancing in the crowd in Suk Hussain or better known as Pasar Hussain which was so similar to Jalan TAR.We stopped at Imam Shafie's Tomb at Masjid Imam Al Syafie and again i couldnt stop but let my eyes water.How great Imam Syafie was and how he was great with Allah's please.

I would like to memorize hadith as much as I want,

I would love to memorize the whole Quran and understand it with my heart,

I would love to learn Arabic by heart and understand it as the Quran speaks of Allah's words,

I would love to gain knowledge as much as I can,

I would like to be as great as the mother of Imam Syafie'e and give birth to such a great child

I would love too so much

oh Allah

this humble slave pleads for your inayah and forgiveness

And we ended the whole chapter in Cairo by performing solah in Masjid Al Azhar, a place known for its rich in knowledge and 'ulama.

May my sujud for today be sincere because of You.

And I got a phone call from malaysia!

My mum and dad called and I got to hear Ahmad too,my dad wanted me to go to Tahrir Square,and I did,well we were on the bus and we couldnt go down due to the zahmah.

So sorry Abah,I'll take pictures of the Tahrir Square next time,I love you all!

With love from Cairo,Egypt

Egypt as it is.

2011-10-09T05:26:00.000+08:00

I have been in Alexandria city for almost a week and everything is sailing smoothly and safely.Just after landing in Cairo for a few hours,we moved on to Alexandria hurriedly using a bus and reached there 3 hours later.Imagine being cramped in the plane for 8 hours,and then being stuffed in the bus for 3 hours!
mashaAllah!

the smell of the surroundings is just fine,it smelt like mecca so I surely do miss mecca so much!The sound of people chit chatting around me in Arabic soothes me and I think I'm used to it and now the honking of cars anywhere are just like a hit song on the radio!Amazingly,they have traffic lights but they rarely use it so in other words,they dont use traffic light,and so,during zahamah(busy) hours the cars fall in a major traffic congestion but it happens in Malaysia too right?

Expect the worst.

What more do you expect than just be grateful of having to land in the land of Moses and also a land that used to have the respected Hassan AlBanna,Umar Tilmisalni and loads more amazing and cool people who live their life for the sake of the Deen.

Tomorrow,we'll be going to Cairo for a trip.Doakan agar saya tajdid niat dan pergi berjaulah ke sana kerana Allah :)

| Come fly with me

2011-09-24T04:24:00.000+08:00

| a day on the streets

2011-09-20T18:43:00.001+08:00

out of everything that I'm going to leave in Malaysia the one that I'll dearly miss,
is my UMMI,

*breaking down into tears*

I love you, Ummi.
Thank you Allah, because of you, I got a superb woman as my mum.

|smiles and laughters #3

2011-09-17T19:12:00.001+08:00

Shot 1

Shot 2

Shot 3

posted from Bloggeroid

| EGYPT as it is

2011-09-17T12:38:00.000+08:00

we were just celebrating Malaysian Day last night and on the exact day an ukhti showed us this video
we believe that Islam will soon and somehow rise up again
but what do we do along the way?

It's not easy to install faith an imaan in us
even Rasulullah took 13 years to keep on doing that,
we only took 13 days and we see the light of giving up already

Reminders!
Yes, that is what we definitely need, reminders to keep on reminding how Jannah is our solution.

Dear friends,
please do remind me and others that we need to unite to have Islam rise.
also do remind that this road is not easy and full of 'onak duri'
and take care of our friends and family
and to other human beings
and to the environment around us, the trees,oceans
and most important, our relation with Allah
silah matinul billah

| smiles and laughters #2

2011-09-17T01:24:00.000+08:00

|16 days left to go

2011-09-16T21:16:00.001+08:00

What have i done for islam today?

Yes it bugs me when i'm relaxing too much without thinking about my brothers and sisters out there.

Tadi ada sharing dgn adik-adik shah alam,dapat mengimbau sejenak masa mula2 kenal usrah and tarbiyyah.dan menyoal pada diri,ke manakah himmah dan rasa izzah tentang islam pergi?
Please come back to me, i need them now because I'll be going to egypt and leave malaysia and sisters here.

posted from Bloggeroid

| sighs ~

2011-09-15T15:13:00.002+08:00

everyone is so busy , everyone cares but they're all busy

I'm actually craving for cakes and cookies -,-

| smiles and laughters #1

2011-09-15T13:54:00.002+08:00

| A call from the lands of Agra

2011-09-15T02:55:00.001+08:00

I got a call from India and I'm extremely happy!

Jazakillah Mayang for caring <3

oh and if you can see above , I am 7956 km from Cairo :)

I feel goosebumps in my stomach since 3rd october is just around the junction -,-

| the 20s

2011-09-15T00:51:00.000+08:00

Alhamdulillah thum alhamdulillah thum alhamdulillah.

Gosh , I'm so flattered and honored because I get to be alive in this magnificent world created by Allah for about 2 decades now.Its a little weird to wear a 20s title, but it wont be long, as my age will be increasing up to whatever age Allah has stated in His Luh mahfuz of my whereabouts on earth.

I'm thinking , when will I be leaving this dunya , full of lies and misery and blinding us all with its entertainment.I sometimes sink into the false dunya, but alhamdulillah, Allah is always there for me. Always and forever there.To remind me and to knock in some senses in me.

get your feet on the ground and wake up!

Welcome to the club,

I'm officially 20 now.

| Auld Lang Syne

2011-09-12T02:18:00.001+08:00

I remember my mum suggesting this song when I requested for a farewell song. And since yesterday, everyone were dispersing , everywhere. People were leaving their loved behind just for the sake of Allah, to become a muslim doctor. Since last night, there were two groups from our batch going to different destinations, Bandung, Indonesia and Belgaum, India. At the airport, tears were streaming along with every hugs, hands holding tightly not wanting to let go, looking in deeply into the eyes, wondering when to see each other again. And today, another group is going to Manipal, India.

Who could have thought that everyone has separated after 2 years sticking together through thick and thin. After two solid years, we went through everything together, birthday pranks, baling selipar, minimart trips, pasar malam trips, making noise in the library, having usrah, get together for riyadhus salihin, house to house-tangga to tangga visits and now, its just a memory, a very good one I must say though.

The remaining groups will be going to Hradec Kralove, Czech Republic, Alexandria, Egypt and Malaysia itself and not to forget those in RCMP, perak who have already left us as early as July.

We came from many places throughout Malaysia, we met in KTT and became one, and once again we detached to all sorts of places.

Deep form my heart, I love you guys lillahi ta'ala.

O mankind, indeed We have created you from male and female and made you peoples and tribes that you may know one another. Indeed, the most noble of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous of you. Indeed, Allah is Knowing and Acquainted.

al hujurat : 13

farewells are hard
if we can't meet in the dunya
we'll meet in Jannah, inshaAllah.

2011-09-10T03:28:00.002+08:00

i hate myself for continuing doing the same old ~~sins~~

| Quranic Circle #2

2011-09-09T22:42:00.000+08:00

Subhanallah , Bro Daud didnt even realise that he was a muslim and that basically was because nobody ever invited him in the first place to enter islam.It reminds me of Shahadatul haq , where , its the muslims job to ensure that the people around the world gets to know about islam and whats in it.Astaghfirullah , istighfar needed because of the laziness and lack of responsibility.

| continuity of Istiqamah

2011-09-09T10:03:00.000+08:00

Yes its true , its nearly a week since Ramadhan ended.Restaurants are once again alive during daylight , stalls selling drinks and foods are activated once again , for those who are hungry and would like to quench their thirst . In all , everything returns normal.But does it mean , we need to return to our normal self too.The normal self that loves wasting time , loves shopping around in shopping galores and still be in there eventhough passed prayer time.The normal self who gossips and talks behind peoples back. The normal self who opens the Qur'an once a while.Astaghfirullah , the Ramadhan month was for us to knit the Taqwa Clothe , I hope I can already where mine by now.

| Quranic Circle #1

2011-09-09T09:40:00.000+08:00

| zero nine zero nine

2011-09-09T09:25:00.002+08:00

Salamun'alaik to all!

Its 0909 people and its wanee's birthday , so

Sanah Helwah Ya Gameel!

everything begins with tarbiyyah

2011-09-08T02:48:00.000+08:00

| its a dot

2011-09-08T02:34:00.001+08:00

.

was that a dot ,
oh yes , that was definitely a dot

Say hello to syawal #1

2011-08-30T20:21:00.001+08:00

The adikberadik

The ummi and abah

The abah and tok mok

The kakak adik

Ramadhan baby #yaseer usman

The ketupats

posted from Bloggeroid

| Ramadhan treats

2011-08-28T04:08:00.001+08:00

Alhamdulillah , I got a delightful visit from my uncle . He brought along his wife and two gorgeous daughters , ainul mardiah and ainul madihah.

They reached at around midnight , and after settling down , the parents slept , but the kids were up for work.It was really tiring since they really were unusually hyper , but its not often that I get visit from Sabah .

Anyway , its really sad Ramadhan is coming to its end *teardrops*

| from your daughter

2011-08-24T18:18:00.000+08:00

| a thought or two

2011-08-23T15:55:00.004+08:00

al adiyat

By the racers, panting,

And the producers of sparks [when] striking

And the chargers at dawn,

Stirring up thereby [clouds of] dust,

Arriving thereby in the center collectively,

Indeed mankind, to his Lord, is ungrateful.

And indeed, he is to that a witness.

And indeed he is, in love of wealth, intense.

But does he not know that when the contents of the graves are scattered

And that within the breasts is obtained,

Indeed, their Lord with them, that Day, is [fully] Acquainted.

| the trails of love

2011-08-23T01:34:00.000+08:00

'sesungguhnya di sekitar arasy allah ada mimbar2 dari cahaya.Di atasnya ada kaum yg b'pakaian cahaya, wajah2 mereka b'cahaya.Mereka bukan para nabi, bukan syuhada.Dan para nabi dan syuhada cemburu pd mereka kerana kedudukan mereka di sisi allah. shbt b'tnya 'siapa mereka wahai rasulullah?' baginda bersabda 'mereka adalah org2 yg slg mencintai kerana allah, bersaudara kerana allah, and saling mengunjungi kerana allah.'

(hadith ditakhrij al-hafiz iraqi, prawinya thiqah)

| tips as medical students #1

2011-08-17T14:25:00.000+08:00

| a land called paradise

2011-08-17T12:54:00.000+08:00

| gone with the winds

2011-08-17T02:00:00.000+08:00

It is a matter of shame that in the morning the birds should be awake earlier than you (Abu Bakr As-Siddiq)

My sister lost her handphone , and she was into tears when she called my mum.The hardcore and tough ifah turned into a delicate little sister all at once.

I'm sorry for the lost and trust me , its a little absurd since its ramadhan , but hey shaytan pun ada juga dari jinn dan manusia right? i felt it to , some time ago , our feeling might not be the same but its similar.So , I'm glad you are all cool right now

Tertarik dengan satu statement that she wrote in her blog ,

"The outlook of things on the surface may not appear to be favorable & life is full of uncertainty. But worrying about things is not going to change anything or make anything better, in fact it's more likely to consume all your thoughts, and then at a time when opportunity awaits you, you will miss it because your focus is in the wrong place. Perception is key, do not perceive all doors locked, you have the key to one of them, you just need to believe.Change the atmosphere in your surroundings, & develop an optimistic outlook!"

She lost her most beloved gadget and InshaAllah , Allah will give a better one.

To me , be determined , Allah has better plans for me too.

| 17th Ramadhan

2011-08-17T01:38:00.002+08:00

yes , we may be glad we can look all around us , of the magnificent creations of Allah ,

but alas, are we aware of those who can't?

yes , we may be grateful we could listen to the river flow ,

but alas , do we care to those who can't?

yes , we may be thankful to Allah we are still here to breathe His air and repent our mistakes ,

but what about those who are unfortunate and completely gone from this world?

to what extent have we helped the the people who are in need ?

(O Prophet!) Tell those of My servants who believe that they should establish Prayer and spend out of what We have provided them with, both secretly and openly, before there arrives the Day when there will be no bargaining, nor any mutual befriending.

(Ibrahim:31)

I Islam Itu Indah ~ solat(pt 3)

2011-08-16T01:26:00.002+08:00

solat itu , kita yang butuh
bukan ibu yang menyuruh anaknya makan membutuhkan makan
tapi anak itu yang membutuhkan makan
bukan guru yang mengajar membutuhkan pelajaran
tetapi murid itu yang membutuhkan pelajaran

solatlah sebelum engkau disolat
persiapkan diri kita
bisa jadikan solat itu sebahagian dari kita . . .

| Islam Itu Indah ~ solat(pt 2)

2011-08-16T01:14:00.002+08:00

sembang-sembang 16 Ramadhan 1431

solat itu merangkumi kesemua rukun islam

ucap shahadah , ada aje , sewaktu tahiyyat akhirnya

berpuasa , ada aje , kerna kita tidak boleh makan dan minum sewaktu solat

mengeluarkan zakat , ada aje , kerna kita menggunakan waktu kita sewaktu solat

mengerjakan haji , ada aje , kerna kita mengadap kiblat sewaktu solat

subhanAllah ,

dakwah itu seni

dan seninya itu kena jika kita membutuhkan islam , seninya kena jika kita ikhlas berdakwah.

jika semua umat islam faham islam , maka tidak mustahil , islam kembali sebagai the way of life .

Allahuakbar!

Wallahualam

| with love ...

2011-08-16T00:58:00.005+08:00

I'm not complaining nor am I making jokes , but it ain't easy choosing . If choosing was like eating a cake , i would have done that on the dot , sadly , it isn't.And night after night thinking and seeking , I hope I made the right decision.Yes , I do think I'm making a big deal out of these , its because I hope our hearts are bonded forever despite the miles we are parted by , I love you for Allah's sake.

There is always two roads in choosing , will we choose the road not taken by others?

Have a nice Ramadhan Kareem :)

| insight guides

2011-08-15T16:35:00.003+08:00

follow your heart , its pointed towards the left side of your body but it's always right -lyana hamid

its not easy to follow your heart , since you don't know if your heart chooses correctly or wrongly? thats why , my ummi always says , do istikharah continually and make du'a . whatever intuition you have after all those stuffs that you did , insyaAllah may lead you to the right path.

I'm not going there as a medical student only , I know I have a much bigger responsibilty ,

And (remember) as your Lord took from the Seeds (Or. sons) of Adam, from their backs, their offspring, and made them bear witness concerning themselves, "Am I not your Lord?" They said, "Yes indeed, we bear witness." (So) that you should not say on the Day of the Resurrection, "Surely we were heedless of this, ".

Not everyone gets to be in the wealth of Islam and Iman , so if you are in it , be grateful.

I have not much to say , except , make full use of Ramadhan (really talking to myself) and pray that every muslims get to meet , the night of lailatul qadr . InshaAllah

| between two destiny

2011-08-12T00:05:00.004+08:00

Alhamdulillah

whats next , to be in Egypt or India?

I chatted with my beloved sis 'ain

and she told me this :

masa rasulullah saw hantar mus'ab ,

rasulullah tanya mus'ab apa rujukan dia di madinah nanti ,

mus'ab jawab, apa yg dia peroleh dr tarbiyah dengan rasulullah dan juga ijtihadnya ,

dan rasulullah saw tersenyum dan melepaskan mus'ab pergi ,

dan apa yg dia peroleh dr tarbiyah rasulullah tu

antaranya tentang aqidah yg dirujuk dr al quran

jadi, sebenarnya mus'ab bawa al quran dalam dada dia

Wherever I go , I hope I bring along the Al-Quran with me too inshAllah.

| of amporlo,high heels and terompah

2011-08-04T01:25:00.002+08:00

Since little , foot wear has always been a big issue for me.Frankly speaking , because the shape of my feet is a little bit unique , I find it very hard to settle down with high heels and other shoes that are pointed.So right now , I am happy enoughto be with my amporlo (which are rubber shoes similar to crocs) just because it has a wide opening for the toes , and it enables my toes to breathe.Now , i find that high heels and terompah are very similar . Since terompah is usually found in masjids , i always hesitate to take my ablution in the masjid.Wearing them is a little scary for me since I always fear I might fall .And then , I'll end up with flat shoes ore easy said 'selipar jepun' instead.

So there you have it , foot wears.

In Malaysia on the behalf of my opinion , I find that many including me just see a big deal of it.Sometimes , some may have a whole wardrobe of shoes , just to match them with attires . If you wear limelight , then your foot wear must be a light coloured one and it depends on the event you are going whether to wear sandals,selipars or shoes.

This foot wear stuff came across my mind when I went to our surau , Surau At-Taqwa.Since its ramadhan , many ambush masjids or surau during night to perform solat terawih , and as excited as they are , I am excited too! Who wouldn't grab the opportunity of multiplication of rewards , right? So whenever wanting to enter the surau , you can see all sorts of footwear of people belonging to little kids and grown ups , and there are so many types , and so many colours with different shape and sizes , so I get awed.Subhanallah , the ni'mat Allah gives to us to wear whatever we want is huge!

Designs from Bata , Nose , Primavera , Vincci , Sembonia , Carlo Rino , Prada , Everlast , Crocs , Camel Active , Cotton On and the list continues are outlets selling foot wears , so you just name any design you prefer , in Malaysia semua ada!

But , have it ever come across you including myself that , Allah doesn't count what design we wear or how beautiful we look in it.He counts the steps we take to His road using our feet.

That , when we die one day , we won't have enough space to fit our wardrobes of shoes to bring along .

So , since its Ramadhan , lets increase our good deeds and regularly use our feet to get more and more rewards. just wear anything that comforts you the most despite what design it is and walk the steps to Allah's path.

p/s I was even thinking of wearing the amporlo during Raya , tak kisah kan?

| wisdom teeth on guard

2011-08-03T01:28:00.001+08:00

I went to the dentist today , and did scaling.Astaghfirullah,when I gurgled after the whole operation was done,a whole mouthful of blood was gurgled out and it had that rotten smell with it.

A few hours later , my mouth ached and my gum was sore . I couldn't talk and think properly since the pain was agonizing and too overwhelming.

two words describing it was : it hurst!

My mind ran back to friend of mine who just had a mouth surgery , I feel like I want to burst in tears whenever I think back of it.I mean , try imagining your mouth not able to function properly. , its so painful and I'm so awed with her spirits , may she be among those who are patient . Coming to think of it , your mouth plays a vital role in your daily life , you talk with your mouth , you smile with your mouth , you eat and drink with your mouth and you breath through your mouth too !

Too many things done with your mouth , so when your teeth are in pain , it disrupts the mouth's function and you might turn out as miserable as ever throughout the period.

That's where you are so glad and thankful to be born as a muslim , because you know how to grateful and patient at the same time.

"hasbinallah wani'mal wakil"

cukuplah Allah sebagai pelindung

and its the truth.

To my dearest zawani ,

get well soon , i don't know how to express my endurance and hope that you'll get better as soon as possible , to be able to go through ramadhan with a smile and go to India peacefully inshaAllah.

kawanku dunia akhirat.

Love Aqeelah

p/s not to forget , since its Ramadhan and the pahala multiples as much as can be , among the simplest thing to do is by just smiling :)

smiling is a form of charity so spread the smile to everyone on this universe , inshaAllah , Allah counts each smiles that comes with a sincere heart , so utilise your mouth as much as possible.

| On your marks , get set , go ...

2011-08-01T01:20:00.005+08:00

Allahumma innaka `afuwwun tuhibbul `afwa fa`fu `annee.

‘O Allah! You are forgiving, and you love forgiveness. So forgive me.’ [An authentic Hadith recorded by Ahmad, Ibn Majah and at-Tirmidhi.]

| what am I waiting for?

2011-07-31T00:36:00.002+08:00

Sekian lama aku di jalan da'wah,

ku rasa himmah dan ketsabatan ku makin kendur

makin pudar dan semakin hilang serinya

kenapakah?

kenapakah...

seringkali aku ciptakan alasan di atas perangai aku sendiri

alasan 'tiada masa' , 'penat' , 'malu' sering diungkapkan oleh bibirku

maafkan aku ya tuhan

maafkan hambaMu yang lemah ini

pegang erat tanganku dan kemaskan hatiku untuk dituju kepadaMu Ya Allah

sesungguhnya , detik untuk aku tinggalkan syaaban sudah hampir , dan aku bakal menerima kehadiran cahaya Ramadhan tidak lama lagi,

amanahMu sentiasa diabaikan atau di ambil mudah

kini aku ingin menunaikan hak diri

untuk memegang erat amanah itu

sebagai khalifahMu dan sebagai abidMu

insyaAllah

hambaMu Aqeelah

shah alam

29 shaaban 1431

| peringatan seorang akhawat

2011-07-31T00:31:00.000+08:00

‎'Aku ikut halaqah"
"Aku join usrah"
"Aku mendapat belaian tarbiah"
"Aku adalah akhwat!"

Mengapa bangga menyebut dirimu sebagai seorang akhwat?
Padahal kelakuanmu tak ubah seperti sampah,
Malas solat tahajud,
Solat wajib pun kau malas kerjakan,
Apatah lagi solat jemaah?
Ah, cuma mimpi,

Apatah lagi membaca surat cintaNya
Novel, cerpen atau komik lebih mengujakan,
Asyik dan menghiburkan,
Daripada membekalkan diri dengan buku-buku islami,

Benarkah kau sudah ditarbiah?
Kalau dengan lawan jenis, tidak terjaga muamalatnya
Matamu meliar, hatimu, ah, entah di mana..??

Dalam berdakwah, engkau memilih,
Menumpu pada yang lebih membawa kenikmatan,
Padahal dakwahlah yang harus digerakkan,

Dalam berdakwah, engkau memilih,
Lebih nikmat bertaushiyah dengan lawan jenis
Lagi-lagi dengan dalih dakwah
Padahal ramai rakan sejenismu
Lebih perlukan pada bimbinganmu

Bukanlah seorang akhwat, orang yang tidak menjaga lisannya,
Bukan juga yang tidak menjaga pandangan dan hatinya,
Dari yang diharamkan Allah,
Bukan juga orang yang begitu mudah mengeluh,
Padahal ia mempunyai Allah sebagai Pembelanya,

Apakah, engkau mengaku layak digelar seorang AKHWAT?
Sedang akhlaqmu tak seperti seperti dalam firman-firmanNya?

Benarkah engkau seorang akhwat?
Tapi engkau sungguh malas ber'dating' denganNya di malam hari?

Sekali lagi, kutanya kepadamu, AKHWAT kah dirimu?
Padahal amalanmu begitu ternoda dengan tujuan duniawi,
Engkau beramal untuk mengharapkan pujian dan balasan manusia,
Tidakkah malu berbuat begitu, wahai yang mengaku dirinya AKHWAT?

Apa yang kau lakukan saat ini?
Tika orang lain penuh keringat kerana berdakwah,
Dan lainnya letih mencegah mungkar,

Apa yang kau sudah buat?
Menjadi pengulas dakwah,
Atau turut laju menderu bersama aliran dakwah?

Lalu, wahai orang yang mengaku dirinya sebagai AKHWAT..
Di mana telah engkau buangkan hatimu untukNya?

Hei, bangkitlah! Bangunlah!
Sebelum ajal menjemputmu buat selamanya wahai akhwat..

| Ramadhan the month of repenting

2011-07-30T02:35:00.005+08:00

Dear Allah,

please accept me

Yours sincerely,

Aqeelah

| 5 Before 5

2011-07-30T02:30:00.000+08:00

i make a call for all those like me ,

who wants to make a change but can't quite find the key ,

who plans so much for tomorrow , and forget they have today ,

but , problem is , if we stick to this mentality our youth will actually decay ,

because the measure of youth is not by how old you are or how fast you can drive a car ,

but it is all in here , in your heart , and how much you can do , how much you can give , how much you can see through,

so , just by being young you don't redeem the noble status of youth

it is only given to those who truly deserves it

and that's the truth

Amal Ahmed Albaz

| I need you

2011-07-30T02:13:00.001+08:00

I have my own battle,trying to control my nafs

I just sinned,and kept on sinning

I'm such an ungrateful servant

And all I can do is burst into tears :'(

I need someone,and I know that I need you Ya Allah

I need you badly

Ramadhan is approaching and instead of whining

I should be preparing

to recharge my imaan

so that I can meet you Ya Allah

in the Day of judgement

Oh Allah,

I need you badly

I'm sorry Ya Allah,

I'm taking for granted the chances I had

My nafs is out of control

and what do I do?

following my nafs bluntly instead of returning to you

my bad , Ya Allah

I'm repenting and I'm regretting

of my stupidity and misconceptions

will you forgive me Ya Allah

yes , please forgive me (whispering)

because

I just need you so badly

| a gift from Allah

2011-07-29T02:53:00.001+08:00

she is islam , and I , am in love

falling deep down in love with her , I must say.

| a gift from Allah

2011-07-29T02:53:00.000+08:00

she is islam , and I , am in love

falling deep down in love with her , I must say.

| a lovable ukhti

2011-07-25T03:17:00.001+08:00

Sanah Helwah Ya Ukhti

Dearest Liyana,

I rarely do birthday greetings,but you are a little special *winks*

We've known each other for 2 solid years and it was a blast knowing the calm-and-quiet girl who actually seems to be a funky and loud lady!

I'm glad to know you more on this tarbiah road,

how the langkawi jaulah made me know you better and love you more.

Not to say my love is easy to get,but the love to you spills in my heart,that is the beauty when you love someone because of Him.

And every time we talk together you always give me advises that touches my heart,your blog posts are superb and your photographs are amazing.

All in all,I'm just glad to know you.

Until we meet again dear

Love Aqeelah.

| love is all around us

2011-07-12T01:17:00.000+08:00

Salamun'alaik.

Out of the virus in the world,the most dangerous and preposterous virus is human's love.Love can make you go astray.Love can destroy a beautiful relationship.Love can just make you drive a way from reality.

But why do people fall for human's love .It's not eternity.It's surreal.

Love is unstoppable,but please,please dear sisters,love Allah first,and you will love all the people around you because of Him,inshaAllah.

ukhwah fillah

| ana kamaan!

2011-07-02T03:02:00.000+08:00

I'm here,standing,running,sitting,smiling,aywa,I'm here.

But where's my soul,it's here too.

Is it here?

I smile,I just don't feel the pleasure of smiling anymore.
I laugh,I just don't feel the satisfaction of laughing out loud.
I feel,enough to feel what is need to feel.

I think I'm going through a phase which is unidentified,growing up but the harder way,growing up with no auxin to make me grow vertically fast.
It's just that,I sometimes can't remember the old me.

But everything that happens around me is tarbiyyah.

Being here is a tarbiyyah.

And coming to think of it now,I can't stop the tears coming out whenever the Gaza issue comes up.Yes,I know we need to save our muslims there before this.I knew that,but I couldn't feel it,the sense of belonging with each other.

Now,I feel it,and I want to do loads of stuff,being a volunteer in the medical team to go there is one amongst the updated list of future plannings that I have.

I want to be a muslim doctor,for His sake.

Allahuakbar

| my abah my hero

2011-06-19T01:58:00.002+08:00

HAPPY FATHERS DAY!

| love because of Allah

2011-06-19T01:02:00.001+08:00

| of shadows and mirage

2011-06-18T17:18:00.001+08:00

in the name name of Allah the AlMighty,
Alhamdulillah,again its been a fortnight being in UPM and 'aal is well',but I loathe myself for the crap time management.The fact that I start class as early as 8 in the morning up until 7 night,and during the night I get tired and drowsy to even open my eyes so I end up sleeping eventually.theres never enough time to read the quran or books like raheeq makhtum or amru khalid's collection,theres just doesn't seem to have enough time to revise or to do df since there is still no usrah over here.but unfortunately there is always time to have fun or to
talk,to laugh but most deceiving is that there is always time to gossip!
Astaghfirullah.

*weeping*

and I take back my tears and wipe the remainding ones,who am I to blame for being distance with Allah?who am i to blame if things aren't going well due to the bad strategy,who am I to blame for? tell me again?

even though it hurts and stings,there is someone to blame on,

no other than,

myself fullstop

I'm tired of being busied with the dunya,trying so hard to get good grades until you had no time to recite the quran,trying so hard to reach class early until you skip jemaah prayer ,and waking up so late due to the staying up all night to revise.what are all these for?

inner satisfaction!

and why inner staisfaction become so bad is because it makes us want to be seen flawless,it makes us want to look perfect and whats more unfortunate,it makes us become and ungrateful brat and someone who is never happy of anything they get,albeit as big as an atom.So,since Rejab is nearly an end and its slowly creeping into Shaaban,oh and I can already see Ramadhan peeping!How excited I am!Together lets spend most of our time devoted to our most Gracious,Allah!

sedang Muaz b Jabal sendiri mengingatkan pada sahabat lainnya untuk;
"ijlis bina... nu'min sa'ah.." --- muntalaq
*mari duduk sebentar, kita beriman sejenak..*

dan Ibnu Rawahah menyahut panggilan Muaz b Jabal ini dengan mengingatkan;
"ta'ala nu'min sa'ah... innalqulub asra'u tuqalliban minalqadr izha"
*mari beriman sebentar, sesungguhnya hati lebih cepat berbolak-balik dari isi periuk yang menggelegak.*

so lets together beriman sejenak and try to reveal our shadow so that we are not effected by our own shadow,InshaAllah

| wrapping paper

2011-06-14T03:07:00.001+08:00

I've currently been in UPM Serdang for nearly two weeks.And since I would love to tell the whole story,i'll just draft out what had happened since the moment i stepped inside this magnificent university,mashaAllah.

I was situated in an apartment of people from throught malaysia,sabah bah,sus and tashia known as jiji ada,hangpa penang kedah si farhana and tasha ada,ekele budak johor sabrina ada,ambo wakil kelate and from selangor themselves hana and afiqah.

I managed to go through histology lectures,anatomy lectures,biochemistry lectures despite the tears accompanying me due to loneliness and tarbiyyah-sick moments, and most important learning amiyah masriyah aidhan!aywa!

I managed to touch a cadaver and I was so excited and got addicted withe the odour of formalin -_-",that is a good thing isn't it.

Despite me not able to complete my national service,not able to undergo extreme activities during biro tata negara,but alhamdulillah I got to feel the thrill of flying fox!

And funny,I was promoted by my own housemate,to be the vice president for the student council which i really despised at first,but then again,since I'm among the elders so I should be responsible since tanggungjawab lebih banyak pada waktu yang ada,so what more can i say than,Oh Allah,make me a responsible servant who does every single thing and walk every single step,because of Allah,Ameen!

Oh,and I managed to befriended with a sister from Guinea,now,ummi is not the only person I know in the family who has an african friend,I do too,her name is Kankou and I hope to see her often ,inshaAllah.

So there you go,a wrap up of my week here for this pre medic.pray for my journey and the brothers and sisters here too inshaAllah.

O mankind, indeed We have created you from male and female and made you peoples and tribes that you may know one another. Indeed, the most noble of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous of you. Indeed, Allah is Knowing and Acquainted.

al hujurat:13

| random sorrows

2011-06-04T01:10:00.000+08:00

menjerit-jerit sampai kak long turun to scold

masak fritters

solat jemaah

girl talks

muka kau bulat,muka aku petak

gigi kau besi,gigi aku kapak

heart-to-heart talks

best friend pending

main mcm kat genting on wani's so long chair

paw makanan makanan korang

*teng teng teng* bunyi mayang ketuk koko krunch dia

kegagapan

kentut kau paling lite,aku paling busuk,kau medium

kau nak basuh kain,aku pun nak basuh kain jugak

mamak stall

kau order aku,aku ambikkan

mayang,mayang sini sekejap

wani wani diam sikit

kiki kiki LOL,lawak giler

I miss ALU mara,I miss tangga 7,I miss budak2 level 1,I miss 7-1-A4,I miss my roomie,all of'em,buddies,girlfriends,AJGC,muharikah,anok mok.

| I am missing you currently

2011-06-04T00:28:00.000+08:00

jazakillah for the drabble 3.2.I am going to store it since your name is embedded on it,i'll miss the constant wake-up calls and happy circles together.The laughters and the talks.

Nothing Is Forever Except God - Siraj Wahaj

2011-05-29T11:18:00.000+08:00

Allah knows what happens tomorrow,let tomorrow come with a smile.

| tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow

2011-05-28T23:13:00.001+08:00

In the name of Allah the most gracious the most merciful.

Alhamdulillah

For the past few days,being at home was a blessing.Not hectic enough just peaceful to inhale and exhale air,to carry on living with the pleasure of iman and islam.To be grateful enough to actually see my ummi and abah's glowing faces,to listen and joke around with ifah and maryam who are more opened up about their personal thoughts and to play along with ahmad's mischief.

But its not everyday you get to be in this pleasure.

Within this month,too much have happened to me and how I wish I could pour it all out here.but alas,I can't.I don't know how too.

I know I worry a lot,I worry about what's happening tomorrow,how I am able to cope with tomorrow,will I be strong enough to handle tomorrow.being far from my cliques,muharikah in particular is a very challenging decision.

Tomorrow,
will I still be breathing and talking for the sake of Allah?
Tomorrow,
will I still be laughing and smiling and chanting gratefulness for Allah's creation?
Tomorrow,
will I still be able to recite the love letters from the AlMighty?
Tomorrow,
will I still be alive or still as can be ready to be prayed by others?

How will I know which one will happen?

When tomorrow comes.

I'm crying and crying until my head aches and I feel like knocking my head to the wall.Allah's with you,what are you so sad about!

Astaghfirullah.

Saidina Ali one said :

I never worry about what's in it for me tomorrow whether I'll be happy or sad,because I don't know which one is better for me.

I want to smile,I want to laugh,I want to make others smile when spreading the words of Islam,InsyaAllah.

| to the future hradec kralove students.

2011-05-27T02:57:00.000+08:00

to my dear friends,

May Allah be with you guys tomorrow,the day after tomorrow and so on,and for the interviews and entrance examinations,do the best and keep smiling :)

O' Allah, please put light into my heart. Turn my hearing into light. Let there be light in front of me, above, and below me. O' Allah, grant me light. [Source: Muslim]

from your faraway friend :)

| pondering back

2011-05-27T02:40:00.000+08:00

Alhamdulillah,I am currently at home,and the happiness is different.Way different than before,it's nearly the end of Alevels for me InshaAllah,a new beginning for Ifah and her foundation,Una is struggling on her SPM,Maryam is trying to make peace with UPSR and Ahmad is being his own sweet Ahmad.And my ummi and abah,alhamdulillah as great as ever.

Now,after the incident,the mara-stop-sending-students-to-India incident,I really didn't now where to go.To be on the brighter side,I wasn't worried nor was I busying myself filling up forms of applications to any country,all I could say was,'just finish this bloody exam and I'm over it'.The choices were either Republic Czech,Indonesia and RCMP-India.

I didn't take too long to reject the Czech application and Indonesia application,due to certain reasons and I ended up having no choice but he one and only RCMP-India.So that was settled.

But sooner or later,the issue came back,this time my mum had some other thing in her mind,Egypt.SubhanaAllah,I never pictured myself at all to be in the midst of the pyramid country,but my mum told me whether I was interested or not,and surprisingly,my heart did some jolts and i was kind of happy hearing about it.Now on top of all these,albeit what people said,I did continuous istikharah.because its true,who is the best planner than the One who planned it,Allah.

Thinking of it now,we never know what will happen to us in just a split second.One minute you were laughing your way to India,the next thing you know,you're crying all your way back to Malaysia.

It kept me thinking ever since about the whole matter,holistically.How tarbiyyah changed our lives and behaviours,how tarbiyyah gathered us to become muharikah's and get on going with dakwah all for the sake of Allah and the next thing you know,Allah deviated us just to see whether we are in this game sincerely and purely because of Him or because

other things.Isn't Allah so sweet?

He just wanted us to live merely because of Him and only Him,AllahuAkbar.

So another thing popped into my mind,medicine.Albeit all these happening around me,once in a while,my hearts whispers to me take something else.Not medicine.And to be honest I've been trying to reconsider this whole thing.Should I pursue medicine? should I be a doctor? and what I got was questions.In the first place,did I take it to please Allah?Am I studying because of Allah?

dush dish dush

Why am I questioning and hesitating what I did in the first place?After all,I knew usrah through the pathway to take up medicine,so what is there to regret.The journey might be tough,the journey might be a rocky journey,but that doesn't matter,never fear,Allah's here!

Besides,according to Prof Muhaya in one of her books,she mentioned that according to prophet Muhammad (pbuh) there are five things that are very much encouraged to be performed.One of them is relieving the suffering of others.

And believe it or not,as a da'ie doctor,we not only relieve physical pain,we are also ensuring that the inner side of our body,emotionally and spiritually are also taken care of.MashaAllah,what more can this be taken care of but a doctor.A holistic approach thats what we want.

Thus all in all,be it Republic Czech,Indonesia,India,local or even Egypt,any where can do.It is not a big deal.Lets together bear in mind,the reason we are anywhere is for the sake of Allah,so no matter where he puts us to,that is the best for us,InsyaAllah

Then there are among men such as say, "We believe in Allah.; but when they suffer affliction in (the cause of) Allah, they treat men's oppression as if it were the Wrath of Allah. And if help comes (to thee) from thy Lord, they are sure to say, "We have (always) been with you!" Does not Allah know best all that is in the hearts of all creation?

al ankabut:10

Wallahua'alam

| decisions are meant to be decided

2011-05-19T11:48:00.000+08:00

I was in the examination hall,

freezing to death below that 20degrees celsius air

as soon as i came out of the examination hall,

my body relaxed and at last,I could put on a smile,alhamdulillah.

The first thing coming across my mind was,I can't stand uber coldness!

and on the bright side,

Malaysia is not cold.

Suddenly RCMP is not a bad choice to start off with after all. :)

But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not .(al baqarah : 216)

| circle of love

2011-05-06T21:27:00.000+08:00

the world is unfair or am I seeking excuses?sadly,I am blaming all the things that I grasp and let it fade in thin air.Its so hard to be ungrateful yet its so easy to be unsatisfied.

I want to change.I want to turn over a new leaf.But alas,I'm feared of my own self.Imagine living in your own fear?!

Since i was in high school,I was never put among the top scorers.Never.Maybe the laziness and playful acts lead to my worse results.But Alhamdulillah,I knew,with Allah's power,He saved the Day.He loved me in His own way,SubhanaAllah!

And now,here in college,the same thing is happening,only I've never been pressured this much before.I think my tank of iman is running out of fuel yet I'm not even putting enough endevour to fill it up.

Until just now,the happy circle with my usrah kids,exponentially fed the soul.everyone was in tears after one after the other start telling stories of what had happened to them during that week,subhanaAllah.

how peoples eyes are wide open just to find faults in us.
how people out there are so curious with what we are doing.
how people wanted to be nice and return to their fitrah,but too indulged in the dunya full of lies and false hopes.

but its ok sisters,Allah is always with us no matter what.

how kak ain told me and my sisters,how our varied behaviour doesn't trouble her one bit.
and i think its time for me to say to you guys,that all of you are jus like a box of chocolates with different tastes,mint,dark chocolate,white chocolate and etc,
all in all,you're all so SWEET.

(they are not chocolates but they're sweet pancakes)

fatin,lily,iqa,ainin,fiqah,adie,hanan and haz

our heart knots will be tied forever insyaAllah.

I I leave the rest to Him

2011-04-07T03:05:00.000+08:00

i should stop doing this,the temptation is strong.thats a price you have to pay when you can't say No.Its simple, N and O means NO!

no more of blogging? i suppose so.

no more of getting to excited easily.

no more not knowing what to do.

exam is just within a blink of an eye.

India anyone?