amalgamation of thoughts

I'm nervous,exams are the most upcoming events above all,so all eyes on the book people!The moment I need some hugs and comforts,I receive an email from ummi,tears start running down,going out of that lacrimal duct of Allah's. Jazakillah ummi,for reminding me that Allah is always there for us, Rabbuna Yusahhil mummy for the viva and house chores, I love you <3 ana hashewtini awiii

sanah helwa ya gameel,for my sister ariefah!!! I LOVE YOU SISTER!

And when my servants ask you concerning Me,then surely I am very near; I answer the prayer of the suppliant when he calls on Me,so they should answer My call and believe in Me that they may walk in the right way al baqarah:186

We can never judge people because each person that stops by in our life, will give a lesson no matter how.For the past two days with the most innocent people i've ever been with,reminds me back the memories I use to have with my adik-adik,Fatin,Iqa,Lily,Ainin,hanan,haz,along and yaya and not to miss out the beloved Adie and Fiqah who are now safely with their bulatan gembira in respective countries,Czech republic and Indonesia. After being on hiatus several months,adapting with Egypt itself,the surroundings,new environement,new people and basically getting to know with the people around me,wasn't like eating nasi ayam back at home.I had to face,phases of tearful nights,depression,lonliness, which was a norm for the first few months,and sometimes it still is if I drift in my lala land,but alhamdulillah thum alhamdulillah thum alhamdulillah,my spirits were lifted because I officially joined usrah with akhawats the same age as me,and were also first years.Subhanallah,Allah'

a medicine to this lonely heart, as the words from the Creator consoles the pain inside, as it is an indescribable feeling, the urge to not stay back from this dakwah, as not to be a selfish person, and continuously holding hands with many, to enter His Jannah together, by spreading the words of Islam, and to keep walking on this road even though the pace is slow, and to keep standing up each time falling, to keep reminding the Lord is the Greatest compared to us, and the reason to continuously shed the tears because of Him. Buat ukhti sekalian,saya sungguh rindu kalian,gelak tawa kalian,bermesyuarat tentang adik-adik,berjaulah bersama-sama,bergaduh kadang kala dan bercinta kerana dia, ayuh terus terusan mengejar cintaNya, dan menjadi benteng pertahanan Islam! Buat Athina,jazakillah sangat sangat, sesungguhnya,walaupun berjauhan namun tetap merasa kemanisan kurma itu kan?

"Walaupun kita berjauhan, dipisahkan oleh jarak dan masa, tidak bertentang wajah dan mata, namun kita tetap berbuka dengan kurma yang sama." taken from angelwearsgucci.blogspot.com I have nothing to say than I'm sorry,it is now awkward,weird and monotonous each time words are said.i prefer being drop dead silence than bursting into tears each time talking. Its not the matter of not being happy for you only, its the matter of losing some part of me,some part that use to be happy to have you to lean on or to talk to or even to snuggle with. To wake me up for Subuh and to pray jemaah,wasnt that cool each time,with that mesmerizing voice of yours reciting the words from Allah,subhanaAllah.Reminding one another when one was diverging from His road.To console me with optimistic advices and positive enhancement,and to just smother me with that special ukhuwwah we had. Only as time passes by,I just realised that you are better without me.

I need a break.detachment from the cruel world.no,no,no the world itself isnt cruel.indeed not!it is,then again Allah's creation. I just need a break from the revolution and evolution of the world itself.Away from the people full of masks and false.Away from the ongoing technology.Immensing in the dunya might then again make me drown in misery,please Lord,take me with you. and alhamdulillah in this dunya,people are still changing and turning into new leaves,making hijrah,from the worst to the best,i read blogs,statuses of my friends,and also jumping from blogs to blogs of a whole bunch of unknown people,even though we dont know each other,but the bond of aqidah running in our veins make the ukhuwwah stronger,yes it does! Knowing that everyone is believing and in love with the words from Him,our Creator. and the best part is,when we get to see Him in the Garden of Delights ,we all cry of happiness mashaAllah,its an honor indeed to meet Him. He is Allah,the Creator,the Shape

I keep running round in circles,I run from things I think scare me,but what do I get when I continue running,I keep bumping into the same thing, I want to run to a faraway land,I want to run with the winds, Oh Allah,build up some faith in me and raise me among the muttaqin, ameen

Oh Allah I wish for the unity of the ummah. Ameen And today is my dearest ukhti's birthday,Elis! Ya habibti,sanah helwah! May Allah bless you in all you do, Ana bahib Elis fillah :)

ummi and abah has safely reached malaysia,when will my time be? will there be a chance for me anyway?

I opened facebook and happened to see my little brother online,which was a total surprise.And so I decided to chat. He was in Kelantan,and he was ranting about slow internet,cats running away from him and stuff,so I told him to help nenek in the kitchen,and innocently he answered,nenek doesnt want his help and atuk was always in front of the television,and he added, all he could do was sleep for 48 hours, ahmad ahmad,*shaking head* I then mentioned about food,I asked whether the food nenek cooked was delicious and he couldnt deny it,I mean, who could ever win over my nenek right? and before we ended the whole chitchat,I told him to be patient since he sometime become outrageous when he wants everything to go his way, he's such a darling actually,he loves his family dearly and could cry over small things if it came to family matters,he could be an incredible hulk when his moodiness gets in the way, but once he's adorable,no one would have the heart to sc

'Orang yang melakukan dosa di dunia, dia tidak akan dapat ketenteraman dan ketenangan.Meskipun lahiriah nampak senang, mampu makan apa sahaja makanan yang diingini,mampu tinggal di mana sahaja yang dikehendaki, namun selama dia belum sampai kepada keyakinan dan petunjuk maka hatinya akan sentiasa gelisah, bingung, ragu dan masih ragu, ini ialah kehidupan yang sempit' Ibn Kathir

a mother's love , a son's care

hijrah is a fresh start, from total darkness, we trash the old unwanted memories, for a whole new start. from being the old person who used to wake up late into a better person who utilizetime more efficiently from being someone who only cared for herself to someone who cared less for herself but more to others, and also to those who are in need its not the matter of things happening to you, but its more to whats happening inside you! take care of the delicate heart and cherish it by loving our Creator and al habib

and not to answer, is the answer : tariq ramadhan the ultimate quest,playing in our minds,recited by our mouths and desired by the heart, finding the peace. p/s : this is for lyana , remember the moments we share words of tariq ramadhan :) and to akhawats out there, its our job to find the answer and ask the same questions to other people too. rabbuna yunaggah :)

Il intikhabaat is coming up this 28th,and a lot of things are going through my mind over and over again.Will Misr still be Misr as it is? Please pray for the us in Egypt , Rabbuna Yusahhil InshaAllah

ifah sent a message just as i was about to start class,maryam got straight As for her UPSR! and she was crying happily back at home. dear allah, alhamdulillah. knowing maryam,she really deserves it.she loves school,she's so innocent and straightforward,she listens to peoples advices and she rarely opposes back.she is special in her way and the best part is,she never forgets people.She is a home person,so neat and tidy,and scolds them who leaves dirty trails near her bed! she wakes up earlier than everyone,and she's not the shopping type,she will constantly recite the quran even though she's a manga fan,but it all adds up to perfectness, Im just glad I have her,mabrouk alayk sister :)

on october 26th,una sent me a message through facebook,but silly me,i didnt seem to notice it until now,what have I been doing all these while? today,una is going through a big examination,SPM!I know Ive already passed the examination two years ago,but with parent still in mecca for hajj,big sisters at universities and all alone there in dungun,its saddening and depressing. i still remembered how i cried tearfully with ummi through the phone when i saw parents after parents seeing their children,but mine never coming.so everytime i called ummi,i would cry till i couldnt speak,and ummi tried to calm me down but it failed,i was helpless and restless,until one day, a blue honda city came into the school compartment,abah came to see me, all the way from shah alam! and i think una feels the same,but she's just okay,i think so.and to me,she is so tough,the toughest among us all i suppose! I miss una,and the fact that people keep mistaking me with her,makes me feel more attached t

I use to have that small hesitation whether Egypt is the right place to go,and believe it or not for the first couple of weeks here,I still had that mindset. its not easy to be on your own and act as if nothing ever happened for these past two years,and the KTT days were nothing,absolutely preposterous,KTT was the most memorable place on earth,until now. Amazing sahabat,happy 'bulatan gembira' and the list continues,and I think I have been blogging and reposting the memories during my KTT days,and maybe some might say, 'come on,grow up,go move on!' But inshaAllah,inshaAllah,inshaAllah,Allah hears every single whispers,intuition and knows every tears slowly running down the cheeks. Knowing that my friends are still with me,eventhough they are no where in Egypt,but they are all safely kept in my heart, Im glad to Allah,He gave me great sahabats,alhamdulillah :) Thank you Allah.

this is maryam haaziqah,my sister this is ahmad nabhan fikriey,my brother

such a nice date,I just realised that, 11 11 11 love from peter and paul

is this the sign for a better misr?lets pray for the best of the ummah. biladil misr! taken from our balcony

awan yang berarak mengisi jiwa yang sedang berduka lara mengundang seribu kenangan bersama mereka yang mencipta memori langit yang terbentang luas yang membuktikan agungnya penciptaNya menginsafi diri hamba yang lemah tidak berdaya untuk sentiasa mencapai redha ilahi itulah langit ilahi

shine your mercy like the sun, and be gracious as the earth let your kindness come like rain that cares not whom it falls upon and let ocean deep your wisdom be, your heart and lanterns spreading peace give yourself in love of him, be like al-habib and in your deepest needs and in your deepest grieve, call on him in humility place your trust in the one, to whom creation turns you'll find redemption and find peace be a blazing fire of truth, be a soothing balm of peace with the light of your sincerity, break the clouds of tyranny let your faith be like a blessed tree, give your shade to all who seek may your roots run true and deep, take your strength from al-habib and all the certainty will bring tranqulity, contentment with allah's decree give thanks for all that comes, be patient and know that someday you will return to him hold fast to the company of the folk of certainty through the gaze and through your love for them, may you be as on

Wahba,the all time favourite spot,especially for the mara students staying in the hostel.the people's choice is more to bread with and addition of lahm(beef) or firah(chicken) and the list goes on.          shawarma   at ya halla , and eating beriyani rice which is the most delicious cuisine serving arabic food! the tazag , a fast food restaurant. chocolates and sweets welatain an alternative for kfc,their chicken is the best,and they even have a bread which is a sandwich with turkey as long as 50 cm! at coffee roastery and had orio madness with a dish of seafood and white sauce which was unbearably good! zalabiah wa shokalatah and ice creams near falaky centre. camel meat , the recent menu for eiduladha, happy eiduladha to all!

the fact that you just made my heart jolted scares me.your cool act adores me.walking in front of us like a guardian angel,glancing back once a while to check whether we are okay,passing through those creepy arab guys calmly,and concerned whether or not we know where we are heading.and lastly when we wanted to pay you back,you refused and asked us to pray du'a for you. and there you go,you just melted my heart. is everyone as frank as you or are you one in a million. astaghfirullah...im scared of these preposterous feelings.indeed i am.

In the name of the most gracious the most merciful. My heart is flipping and doing somersaults,I dont feel calm. My heart aches and tears seem to be running down my cheeks easily, I cant seem to be solving the jigsaw puzzles in my life. I used to be the girl who was all bubbly and smiling here and there, i think I still do it, but I dont feel the sincerity nowadays. My friends seem to be happy and I m glad for them. But sadly,I dont feel the happiness. Ya Rabb, You gave me everything and yet I can't seem to be grateful enough. Please forgive me. My days here are becoming messier and messier,I wake up so late and take my bath.Then,if I'm lucky enough I get to go to class with the girls. i still cant blend in,Im trying,I am,please dont look down on me,Im trying. And if I'm not,i'll go to class all alone,from the asrama,I'll walk all the way to mahattah raml(train station raml),and hop on to stop at mahattah gama'ah,and again i'll walk a

I can now hear clearly my sisters, my brother's, and my aunt's voice.My first time skyping home, and I surely miss home, so much. The smell of my house, the noisiness of the adikadik fighting, laughing, giggling and the loving biah we live in. We are not so expressive and sometimes I'm mad towards myself because, I get so many but I always feel ungrateful, astaghfirullah. Tomorrow will be a big test for us,Alexandrians freshmans,  since its our first and foremost welcoming exam, so I'm a little scared although I know Allah has layed the results in luh mahfuz, way before I went out of my mother's womb.But I still seek for a good result, to please Him, being a good muslim medical student and to please people that I love. I want to be a doctor for the sake of Allah. Its a big thing, but I'm sure of that, InshaAllah.Please pray for me and my dear sahabats too :)

right now abah is with ummi in makkah i miss them awii awii

my first day of lecture in alexandria faculty of medicine . such a meaningful lecture given by the beautiful dukturah hoda khalifa. out of thousands of words coming out of her mouth.i was really fond of one of it and with a few modifications,it sounded more or less like this "i consider every book as a journey,the journey gets more exciting day by day as far as the book does page by page" being in medical field isnt easy and i know that.just pray that allah ease your way along the path. allah will insyaAllah repay our faith as long as we believe in him totally. Keep on believing peeps.

We started the journey with bismillah, and we headed straight away to muhafazah(state) giza where ahram(pyramids) were built.There were bascially 3 big pyramids in the area, and the inventions of pyramids at first was as a graveyard for the dead bodies.But later on, it was for the empire's fame.So in the end, Egypt didnt do pyramids anymore.It came to me,that if we become to greedy of fame and richness, it can harm us in away,we can lose control of our behaviour and act beyond norms. And then, we moved on to muhafazah fusthot, here, Amr Al Asr,the founder of Egypt,one of Rasulullah's sahabat, left his tent undetached due to some birds laying there nest on the tent.Later on, people made a small valley around the tent which now became a state called Fusthot, the tent itself now is known as the Masjid of Amr Al Asr.It was amazing, how kind hearted Amru Al Asr was to not shoo the birds away but instead just left the tent as it is.How empathy he was to birds,and re

I have been in Alexandria city for almost a week and everything is sailing smoothly and safely.Just after landing in Cairo for a few hours,we moved on to Alexandria hurriedly using a bus and reached there 3 hours later.Imagine being cramped in the plane for 8 hours,and then being stuffed in the bus for 3 hours! mashaAllah! the smell of the surroundings is just fine,it smelt like mecca so I surely do miss mecca so much!The sound of people chit chatting around me in Arabic soothes me and I think I'm used to it and now the honking of cars anywhere are just like a hit song on the radio!Amazingly,they have traffic lights but they rarely use it so in other words,they dont use traffic light,and so,during zahamah(busy) hours the cars fall in a major traffic congestion but it happens in Malaysia too right? Expect the worst. What more do you expect than just be grateful of having to land in the land of Moses and also a land that used to have the respected Hassan AlBanna,Umar Tilmisaln

out of everything that I'm going to leave in Malaysia the one that I'll dearly miss,  is my UMMI, *breaking down into tears* I love you, Ummi. Thank you Allah, because of you, I got a superb woman as my mum.